An A.G.M. run in December?
Never before has this happened. The reason? Our Grand Master, Charlie Manson is fleeing the scene, and taking up residence in China. So wishing to go out with a bang, not a whimper, Charlie M. and Poncho the Pervert were this week’s hares. The A-site was just off the Siam country Club road. A good turnout, which I suspect, was due to the fact, that many people had heard the rumour that our GM was actually going to hand over the reins of the hash. The hares explained that it was a “Live Hare Run.” This meant they needed a ten-minute start on the pack and hopefully lay paper on the run and also to manage to stay ahead. During the ensuing ten minutes standby period, new shoes were given down downs, jokes were told. Spaghetti Head and Odd Job were the official timekeepers. Chicken Fucker, who was running the circle, bowed to pressure from the crowd, decided to let us start after nine minutes. Well as we all know, Charlie M. is a Short Cutting Bastard anyway. Off we went. Through housing. Along tracks. Down roads. Alongside the reservoir. Always thinking we would catch the hares. It was not to be. How the heck did they manage it? Maybe they were using a motorbike. We will never know. The hares had informed us before the run, that it could be walked in fifty minutes. Well I ran the whole way, and it took me one hour and ten minutes. I did not see too many pass me and thought I would be one of the first in. No way. There were plenty back already, and by the sounds of merriment coming from the beer truck, they had been back for quite a time. After a cooling down period, the circle was called to order. Today the Pattaya Hash had its 75,000 th runner. When we signed up we are given a numbered ticket. So a raffle was drawn for this honour and prize. Charlie Manson won it. Plenty of cries of “fix!” “Bullshit!” “No way!” All to no avail. It is at this point that I will let you see the letter the Pattaya Hash dispatched to the Chinese Embassy.

Dear Mr. Ambassador of the Democratic Republic of China,

    This is a warning letter from the Pattaya Hash. We are not sure if you are aware of all border movements, but a certain Charlie Manson is moving into your territory. Whereby, the Pattaya Hash is ecstatic to see him moving on, we are concerned that other countries, their agencies and hashes are not prepared for what might happen from this incursion.

You have been duly warned. 

So CM retains the honour of being the 75,000^th runner. Sunflower then ran the raffle. She promptly iced the GM and gave away plenty prizes. Sir Airhead iced “Old Timers” Uncle Pervy, The Pope, Golden Dildo, Festering Streaker and Whale Dick Sucker for talking. Arse-holeo iced, and given Hash Shit, for claiming he saw the hares on motorbikes, laying the run. Wank-King iced for adding pink shorts to the Hash Rags stockpile. Well done Hopalong, who received his 50^th. Run mug. Steamy Lump then gave us some religion. As usual he targeted Wet Spot who just cannot seem to outwit “The Bullshit Meter.” Ewe Fucker, Karamba, Baby’s Arm all cooled their cheeks for being friends of Arse-holeo. Charlie M. then brought in all the Mismanagement and sat them on the ice. This was quite a spectacle, as the stunning Sunflower leapt up in air claiming sexual harassment, which I would love to be a party to. It was decreed they had all done a good job for the last year. Then it was announced. “The new Grand Master would be, Flying Frog!” Cheers all round. I know more things happened, but my memory was Chang confused, and my notes are undecipherable. Chicken Fucker serenaded Flying Frog with a new song, but after that I loose it. Another Hash survived. Thank you Classroom 2 for another great happy hour. Fantastic food and fabulous girls. 

The King is dead. Long live the King. (No not you Elvis!).

On On,
General Kidney Wiper