Our hares for the day Allah’s Arsehole and his trusty sidekick Piss Uphill found a nice open “A” spot for us near the end of Wat Huay Yai road.  Seems that Wat Huay Yai must be pretty famous as the hares elected not to leave us a Hash sign on Sukhumvit, but it didn’t really matter as the determined Hashers had no troubles sniffing their way to the waiting beer truck.  The initial circle formed and the Grand Master looked very happy to find some new shoes.  In fact, several pairs of them.  The appropriate punishment was handed out and there were at least two drippy wet beer shoes that learned their lesson.  Off the runners went, into a nice open expanse of fields, rolling hills, palms and some beautiful bamboo covered paths.  Seem a little quiet on the run, however.  As a sure sign that the average age of the Pattaya Hash is “maturing” a bit these days, I was chuckling as I noticed of a few of the old timers who now slow to a near walk pace to gather up steam and take a few more deep breaths before they let out the loud and boisterous ON ON that is our trademark.  Seems like finding a Hash Horn will be getting more and more difficult as the years go by! The normal leaders of the pack and FRB’s Fireman and Singapore Sucker set a pretty darn blistering pace and bolted through the run in about 35 minutes, while the normal strong pace setters like King Yao Yao and Spaghetti Head took a more gentlemanly pace of nearly an hour, while the true nature lovers like Sir Airhead really got their monies worth at well over an hour. Good run Hares!
The Circle formed and our GM Flying Frog wasted no time in icing the wasted one, Retard Wanker, who was truly living up to his name and running with tiny baby steps and looking like a retarded fag on the run.  Seems like this guys runs on “wind” power and is not the guy to be standing behind in the blast zone.  Next the Hares were called out and got the icing they deserved for a “Good Run”, as called by the crowd.  The raffle girls graced our presence next and we saw about eight happy winners with Free Willy having the best luck to win several times.  Time for some religion as Sir Airhead took control of the circle and quickly dealt out some ice to the Hares for paper abuse and having multi colored Hash signs.  Next came a vicious icing of the manikin bodied Monster who is well known for his frequent doctor visits that come from a diet of beer only with no food and water.  At least this guy doesn’t waste money!  Maybe the highlight of the religious advice for this week was the submission by Arse-holeo that he would promise to “shut up and be quiet” forever if he could just lose his Hash Shit award.  Maybe the RA was feeling quite generous as he agreed to remove the Hash Shit without a written contract in hand from Arse-holeo.  Lastly the RA enjoyed icing some “real men” who he said can still make the girls shudder, Karamba and Fireman.  Although, it has been noticed that Karamba has switched from the old days of 50 year old Farang women, to a new diet of young Thai sisters, three at a time.  Many people seemed to agree with his idea as it helps to “keep everything in the family” as they say.  The GM returned to take over the circle and was quick to deal out some justice for the “Norwegian Ambush” at TQ last week and then on to welcome all the visitors, returnees and other ceremonial affairs.  He was then put back in his place immediately as Sir Chicken Fucker took control and put all “chicken lovers” on the ice to include VV, Flying Frog as well as the truly inebriated Retard Wanker.  Dr. Pinky was brought in for a thank you down down for being a good customer in the red light district of his home town where the Farang women working are so fat and ugly that they don’t arrest you because they are so thankful to find some customers who can tolerate them.  ET was brought in next as it was found out that he will go to the Philippines soon to run a math competition for school children.  Can anyone really believe this?  Enough said.  Lastly, the Hash Police were brought in for a good icing for not adequately protecting our beer supply from Kamoys, or something like that.  As the Hares fell down with no song, they were graciously saved by Sir Chicken Fucker who at the expense of some more ice, was willing to help them out with a nice and long song.  Hash Hymn time and off to Classroom 2 for a few more cold ones on the way home.

ON ON,
Redundant Seaman