This run had disaster with a capital D written all over it before I arrived at the a-site in my chauffeured limo. I’d already heard rumours of discontent amongst the hares and with their collective reputation, I feared the worst. Fear not readers; it weren’t that bad. A previously used football field sized a—site next to a small lake was ample enough to house all the vehicles. I noticed that the bridge had gone but my keen eyesight had already mapped out my afternoon stroll with whoever cared to join me. The bus arrived and off stepped the infamous Derelick. Rumour has it that a book deal has been signed for his life story. Dear readers, a 5 volume missive would only cover half of it. Nice to see you back Derek. Pre-circle activities underway. I counted at least 4 picnics with my Missus running the biggest one. Monday has become stinky- house day for me. Even the tree rat won’t touch the ‘food’ and that little bugger eats almost anything. Circle called and all the cracks are given a rose. Rottweiler did her run by leaving the picnic to collect hers (well, it was the only one she’d receive all day). Runners, walkers and cripples off, including me. Yes readers, I get a sweat on nowadays. No more staying at the beer truck. No sirree Bob. 10 minutes later, after a nice stroll around the lake, Parish Priest, Red Arsehole, Clit Face and myself arrived back at the a-site. First again and no shortcutting. Well, how can you shortcut a shortcut? Parish Priest – remember him? The bad man goes home and PP arrives. You can’t win.
After cracking a reviving Tiger, I wandered over to the big picnic. A girl with stunning curls in her hair has her back to me. Who is this? Hello! She turns around to reveal Ewok? Bugger. Oh well, next time. I prise The Buzz away from her picnic to give Peler her 100 run (picnic) T-shirt design.. Naked girl on a Harley. Dream on you Muppet.
Everyone was back in after not too long, a bit different from most Free Willy runs. Karamba had actually threatened Willy with GBH if he was still running in the dark. A better run shirt than usual was being hawked around the 125 runners.
Circle called, raffle on and Derelick marks his return by claiming a prize with a wrong number. Nothing changes, just like Liverpool still being the most annoying team in the Premiership. Usual stuff dealt with including Parish Priest’s 2 Russian virgins. Nice people but I don’t believe that they are in the KGB. Does it exist anymore? Some Scandi was named Single Cell for some reason, I didn’t hear as Karamba was having his own circle as usual.
I lost my rag over something trivial and I will use this text to apologise to the person concerned and the Monday Hash in general. Politics seem to have been pushed aside under the new GM and long may it continue. V.V. became the new Hash Trash and long overdue in my humble opinion. Loving couples called in for a smoochy dance. I grabbed the nearest person to me (sorry GKW) but quickly moved onto the Queen. The King was not amused. Proceedings were stumbling to a close as it was a late hour but no one seemed to care as a Free Willy inspired run had been a success and when was the last time you could say that. It was way past my bedtime so I didn’t go back to the TQ. I expect a great time was had by all. So I shall express thanks on behalf of the Monday PH3.

On On
Dr. Pinky