I arrived early at the A site, courtesy of the G.M.'s splendid vehicle, he quite wisely parked the vehicle away from the threat of falling coconuts, we all knew the hares had chosen the splendid site in the hope that a falling coconut would drop onto the head of that quiet man Retard Wanker, but sadly he survived another day. 105 hashers turned up. The coconut threat was a real concern and I could not wait for the run to start. The run itself was a tame affair no hills or water, the smokescreen that appeared in the middle of the run was a good attempt to lose Retard Wanker but this also failed. A mad poodle tried to attach its teeth to my leg but I was saved by a German hasher who tortured and killed the wretched thing, thanks comrade I owe you one beer. Yes it was a nice little stroll around for 50 minutes or so then back to the beer truck for the drinks. Before the circle was called G.M. chased Retard Wanker with a big stick, this guy just never learns does he. Then the circle was called by the finest G.M I have ever seen then again I have only seen one, the hares Skiing Finn and V.V where iced and everyone decided it was a good run. Sir Airhead took over and performed a naming ceremony on a man called Graham from England, a government official a double agent maybe so he got a double down down, after much debate Austin Flowers was his chosen name I must come clean this is Austin writing now. I was nearly drowned by the evil Sir Airhead and my buddy Catch deserved his icing for the bad things he said about me. A lot of folk got iced for wearing pink Lord Lucan in his shocking pink panties what's going on. Some hasher was iced for false birthday there's no limit to there cheek. All the time Retard Wanker was on and off the ice and in the bucket he is going for a hash record or something. A man from Liverpool in England was iced and he tried to run off with the ice bucket as only scousers can. Uncle Fester was iced for having a nice haircut it wouldn't be the circle without him being iced. Sir Chicken Fucker was his usual entertaining self, then along came Wheels with a song about little willies I think he is a secret pink panty wearer. The raffle was its usual success nobody seemed to want the book though. The beer police won applause for there security I will give them a government protection job in England anytime, the circle closed with the hash anthem and we headed off to T.Q 2 very happy, the food was better then the Scandi bar the previous week although they send there apologies and its the second best bar in Pattaya after Flying Frogs splendid restaurant give it a try if you haven't already.

On On
Austin Flowers