Situation Report (SITREP) PH3 No. 1099.
Sign-ups completed at Hash Ops Centre Scandi-Bar with new bus launch ETD 16:00. Unlike last week, HHH signs were plentiful, all participating Hash teams, groups, and cliques arrived on station.  Hash team leader Flying Frog gathered up the mis-guided in a circle of power, gave instructions to start the Hash.  Due to too many cheap Charlie's, Hooligan / Jungle insurgent Smelly Belly displayed unselfish acts of Hash service as non-volunteer surrogate New Shoes down / down participant.  Today's Hares Spag Head and GKW started the pre-launch checklist for the pack, since American's still can't understand GKW's accent, instructions were given in German.  Pack away on through the shiggy and we were off only to be reminded that the walkers once again were smarter to go to the road.  On-Over the road into a delightful hard charging trail that lead to our first check.  Jungle contingent Supervirgin, Smelly Belly, Scar w/2T's, Special Needs, Bottoms Up (Bottle Butt), I-Da-Ho, and Really Sadistic Bastard (2nd smallest dick on Samet),  were seen wearing clothes.  Having caught Flying Frog syndrome I had to wait and catch my breath as I watched the Front Running Bastards (FRB's) do a complete anal loop back in which once again the walkers just strolled into the lead.  Spag Head notorious for da Hills took us up da Hill as Piss Pole Dancer and myself sprinted up and up and up exhibiting our skills and fitness to a young Hash boy only to be shadowed by Big Nose Bastard.  At the top was short-cutting king Seamen Stains convincing me the way to the beer was this way and not that way.  By-passing more of GKW's shiggy we scurried up the road to a big True Trail arrow leading us down, down, down to another check.  One went this way, one went that way, and I went the long, long wrong way but the wrong way paid off as catching up back with the pack I found myself behind the skimpy clad Harriette named Energizer Bunny gleaming with a sweaty glow.  We could smell the beer that was close trotting past a beautiful temple garden village manned with monks and monkets.  Around the bend was Allah's Arsehole getting serious after a weekend of imitating a Koh-Samet walrus with sand in his crack.  And finally the On-In Beer Near check to sprint on in with a Barbie Doll.  Possibly last but not least was team Ratso and Sunset to the finish.  All Hooligan, Jungle, Chivas Regal, Original Norwegian, Pattaya Poofter Men, first timers, and Family Hash teams all back safely for Hash Shnacks, grazing, and general canoogling of the masses.  Special logistics support recognition is given to Flipper as hot dog lady, Bottomless Pit as Beer Miester (With no Blue Ice Beer), and Wank-King as Haberdasher with no pants for Nurse Dick.  Today's raffle mistress Care Bear raffled out the prizes.  We all felt safe as our very own elite anti-terrorist small unit force protection security team of Catch and Mr. Sheen watched over the proceedings as religion by Sir Air Head had us take a ride on a Karamba train with team Chivas Regal as the passengers.  Unknown to Lord Lucan was a special personal stash of cold smooth Blue Ice beer that made my night most enjoyable but which also made me end up missing the On-After happy hour at Oh La La's.  The Blue Ice gang kidnapped me and the rest is all but Hash history................On On..........I-Da-Ho.