75 runners turned up at this scenic run location just past Nong Nooch Village.  Nice views of hills in almost every direction and my hope that this was a close as I would get to them.  It turned out that the original A-site had been fenced off with electrified wire a few hours before we arrived.  A 12 Volt car battery maybe ok to keep out livestock but I think something a bit more lively would be needed to keep out the Hash !  Anyway, we left the site well alone and sort of temporarily parked for the start of the run.  As is normal for the Betty Boop, lots of men hanging around wearing dresses and having their photo’s taken.  Seemed to be an unusually large number of men wearing make-up this year with PELER and FINI almost looking like the real thing!
With the arrival of the bus and the circle called by GM FLYING FROG, the hares:  TADPOLE, EWOK and MISS CHIVAS gave us the ‘paper is white, checks are red, red are checks’! And the good news that at the FT’s we would find a small carrot which should be collected.  With that we were sent on our way up a long gentle slope.  We were heading for those hills and within a short time we came across our first check at the base of one of them.  Here I went left with JELL-O-BUTT.
PISS UPHILL and a few others headed off in the opposite direction.  Being in such an exposed position at the front directly off a check usually scares the life out of me because of the risk of finding an FT, but as it could lead to a prize I was happy enough to go for it.  The trail turned out to be correct and we were soon climbing and working our way up and over the hill. On the other side we came across a handy piece of rope with VV at the bottom taking photos. Fairly quickly we came to the second check and here everything went awry for me. After going left down one FT and one paperless track, I came back to the check to find it deserted.  Not a soul in site and an eerie silence.  From there, the trail wound its way through the undergrowth and led to a difficult soft sand section that got the heart pumping. I struggled to find the paper here and there as it sort of went missing in a few spots.  Well the sun was in my eyes anyway! Eventually I came across a temple and lots of steps.  Once again, lost the paper but after several minutes FINI leading a group up from behind came to the rescue and told me to go on up the steps to the temple where I would find paper. He was right and after a bit more of a climb, was able to run again down a long slope that wound down and around to the other side of the hill.  We came across at least two more checks which had been politely solved and then practically ran into PONCHO and again VV who were crouched down taking pictures of the runners about 2 minutes out from the A-site.  The A-site thankfully had been moved closer to the end of the run and I was really happy to fall into it being totally exhausted as I was.  Almost everyone seemed to be back already and enjoying themselves with ice cold beer and plenty of fruit and snacks.  All in all, a very good run and I was well happy.
After a cooling down period, a chat and a few beers, the circle was called with the Hares taking a seat on the ice. They looked great with their Northern Hill Tribe costumes complete with Hash décor.  The Hares did their FT carrot prize thing with PISS UPHILL, FESTERING STREAKER and CABBAGE HEAD getting a T-shirt each.  On then to SEAMAN SWALLOW’S Raffle with IRREGULAR PERIOD, MISS DOWNHILL, DR PINKY, LOBSTER QUEEN, JACKAL and MERRY CLITMAS winning prizes such as TQ1 and TQ2 free drinks, plus T-shirts and stuff. Time then for the Betty Boop competition with all those in dress coming into the circle.  SEAMAN SWALLOW led the girls in voting out all but five of them.  The five were then voted in reverse order to receive a prize each:  5^th Prize to BOTTOMLESS PIT getting dinner for two at the Scandi Bar.  4^th prize to FINI THE FAGGOT getting dinner for two at Patrick’s Belgian Bar, 3^rd prize to VV with dinner for two at Jameson’s, 2^nd prize to PELER with PH3 sponsorship and a trip for two to Nong Nooch village, and 1^st prize to SEAMAN STAINS with PH3 sponsorship and a trip for two to Ko Samet. SIR AIRHEAD briefly took over the circle bringing in the Hares and getting the good run vote.  He also mentioned something about his bag being run over while he was out running.  Hope there was nothing destroyed in there. Time for the GM again who iced ARSE HOPPER and ROCKY with ROCKY getting Hash shit for taking food from the last weeks Hash Bar without buying any drinks! Time for the leavers:  FUCKING DOG, CABBAGE HEAD and GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER with GKW finally going to do some work for his money after 8 months standby paid leave!  This weeks visitors: BALL BANGER and JACKO in next followed by all those who went to the recent Phuket 1000 Run weekend.  SIR CHICKEN FUCKER doing his thing and icing FINI and BALL BANGER (from the Hua Hin Hash) as he apparently looks like FINI’S father!  Moving on and we had APPLES TURNOVER and his pregnant girlfriend APPLE TREE with some confusion as to whether or not APPLES TURNOVER was also pregnant due to the size of his stomach!  PELER and PISSED POLE DANCER with the former possibly being her long lost son! MISERABLE CUNT on the ice for asking to borrow SCF’s spare Betty Boop dress as he did not want to buy his own, once again proving that he’s a Cheap Charlie.  REDUNDANT SEAMAN in next looking rather like a TQ Go Go dancer and making an announcement that Hua Hin will have an outstation run on the 18^th June followed on the 19^th June by a Chang Mai Bunny run. Time for this week’s anniversary’s with: BOTTOMS UP 50 Run Mug, TADPOLE 200^th Run T-Shirt and CLIT FACE 300^th Run T-shirt. At this point the weather started turning so it was a quick Hare song followed by the Hash Hymn and then off to the TQ1 for happy hour and good food.  I was a bit late getting to the TQ1 but arrived in time to see BUTTERFLY TIGER patting down FINI and pronouncing that there was nothing down there!!?  An end to a perfect day.  Thanks and a job well done to our Hares, the PH3 and TQ1.

On On
Tampax