They say a virgin scribe is born every day in the City of Sun but I am sure I just got sucked in at sign up .We all hop of the hash bus, many hashers are stiff and sore from a busy week -end full of hashing .We noticed all the familiar sights like the beer truck and a sprinkling of utes dotted around the A-Site, but we felt like we had just arrived at a Rodeo, and we were not wrong. At 16.55 Circle called by G.M Flying Frog, he announces run No-1111 is a special run and the bus leaves early at 15.00hrs. G.M reminds Arse Hopper to buy beer at Sponsor bar before he feeds his face, I am sure that guy is deaf and mentally challenged. New shoes are called with Bottoms Up and Bigger Nosed Bastard dealt with. The hares are called in, the usual story paper is white, crosses are red and the cows are well trained four legged hashers in disguise. The F.R.B's run off and are convinced they recognise most of the four legged hashers and call out there hash names like Rumpo, Sirloin and Eye-Fillet as they tear across the paddock, Sir Airhead running in the middle of the pack is not so full of shit like B.B and warns Dizzy to Tie me Kangaroo down Sport, but to Dizzies surprise its a true blue load of Bull and the rope breaks, so Dizzy returns back to A-Site for his medication. Doggie at the back of the pack said if the four legged hashers were dressed like sharks they would reminded him of the Phuket Hash. So after about 20 to 30 minutes of stampeding the women and children and raping the cattle we all converged on to the A- site. Knob Marley was pleased with the run because it reminded him of his cobber Mad Cow. 18.35 G.M Flying Frog calls the circle .Holy water is required to name the Disco bus driver John TRA- LA-LA ,the bus driver said he liked Disco 25 years ago and that's how long the tape has been jammed in the tape machine on the bus. New big black ice bucket is dragged into the circle and Fini The Faggot goes swimming with his new pink jandels. Allah's Arsehole is new hash trash for losing his sun-glasses on the run, Wank-King is happy about that. Sun Flower is called in for the raffle, this week only two cracks win a prize. Sir Airhead ices the grinning hares Spaghetti Head and Singapore Sucker, hares are accused of cruelty to dumb animals and Sir Airhead is sickened by this, but really looks forward to a big juicy 300 gram N.Z steak at Patrick's. Every one agrees hares deserve Hash Shit, and fair enough too. Bottomless Pit and beer police are iced. Bottomless Pit orders drinks at TQ 1 on Sir Airhead's account. Leavers, Visitors and Returnees are ordered into circle for Down Downs. Sir Chicken Fucker is congratulated on his 700th run, B.B is iced for taking a crap on run. Terminal 4 Skin is given a nice shopping hamper by Sir Chicken Fucker who burst in to sing about his Queer mate Freddy Fud Pucker. Then the bum boys are iced. Hares are ordered to sing a song which is super good crap just like there paper laying.  Hash  hymn is sung and then its back to Patrick's for the best grub in town.

Happy Hashing!
Zeal Zucker