Run 1112 is about to get under-way. Our GM (Flying Frog) calls for the circle to begin. He informs us we have 95 people in attendance. First off new shoes! We had one and I didn’t catch the name. I was appointed scribe after the run and I’m very poor with mental notes. I’m not that good even if I write them down. The Hares are called in to tell us about the run. Hares are V.V. and Jello Butt. Jello does the talking. The usual checks and FT's plus we are warned about a piece of barbed wire. Off we go and I start out with the FRB's. Well big mistake for a fat old man like me but it felt great for a while. We come to a check and everyone splits up. I’m lucky because I hear ON-ON right in front of me. That was a long FT. We cut across a field to try to catch up with the rest of the runners. I finally catch some of the walkers. We go into a wooded area and climb up a small hill and back down. We get to a spot where we can start running again. I’m concentrating on the people in front calling ON-ON and not looking for paper. Well I ended up missing much of the trail because someone ran through a FT and found paper and just kept calling ON-ON. So the hour run we were promised ended up 35 minutes for many of us. Our kind GM walks around the area to warn all us tailgaters the circle will start in 10 minutes or sooner. "Warning if you’re late you get the ice". Arse Hopper ends up on the ice. ET is also iced and Dog licks its dick for talking. The lovely Seaman Swallow and Motor Mouth do this weeks raffle. I really like the raffle prizes being in the envelopes. There’s no shopping that way and you can get some nice surprises. Like Sweet Pussy won a seat in the bucket and a double down down. There’s some noise at the circle and it’s King Yao Yao. He has captured Butterfly Tiger and drags her in for not having a Hash shirt. Before she sits on the ice Karamba comes to the rescue. She may sit on his knee as long as he sits in the bucket. What a guy! Next up the virgins and sponsors in for a drink. Bottomless Pit is called in for forgetting the cups for the down downs. Our GM turns the circle over to Festering Streaker. He calls Seaman Stains on the ice. It seems it was his fault for all but four runners cutting the trail short. He went passed a FT and found paper and called the rest of us fools on. Festering calls in four more people. On in Bill’s Bitch, Seaman Stains, V.V. and Up the Butt but why? It seems they’re wearing strange pants. This is strange to me because Festering S is wearing Speedo’s. Bottomless Pit again! This time it’s for working like a farmer. He always likes to dig the back wheels of the beer truck into the ground so short people can reach the water and soft drinks. He gets a farmer’s hat to wear for this deed.
The circle is back to the Flying Frog. He calls in the returnees and then the leavers. After that he calls in Lord Lucan and Fini. The GM found a Pattaya Jungle HHH sign with Fini’s phone number on the back. Being as Fini has never run a Jungle Hash why was his name and number on the back? The GM “Jello Butt” for the Jungle also got a seat. BNB and Ringworm get a seat and a foil hat. I didn’t get the reason but it was Peler’s fault. Ringworm also entertained us with a few jokes.
Now all the French and French speaking on the ice. It seems one of the French guys decided to stop and eat a farmer’s pineapple. SCF gets a seat! Oh yuk there’s something hanging out of his pants. It’s some of Free Willy’s goods. This makes me wonder about these two. Next anniversaries! SCF’s circle! He calls in Doggy. Doggy looks like Mr Punch from Punch and Judy. He doesn’t sit on the ice properly so he ends up in the bucket. It’s strange I never get called in because I look like Tom Cruise. Next T4 and Up the Butt in. T4 is temporarily doing the rags and Up the Butt is just trying out one of the condoms. He’s not buying it just trying it out. T4 is really a cheap Charlie. It is pointed out he’s brought a virgin and she has on all second hand cloths. He got shoes from Apple Turnover’s lady. She’s also wearing an old T4 shirt and his underwear. Knob Marley is on the ice because it’s time to name his lady. After a close vote she is named Jail Bait. Hares no song! SCF steps in with an Elton John song to save them. Hash hymn and off to the On-On bar. Miss Chivas greeted us with opened arms and lots of great food and beer. I had a great time a good run and good food.

On-On
Allah’s A.