The Aussie run, it was clear that a lot of planning and effort was put into the run with lots of extra treats thrown in. I am sure I speak for the majority of Hashers that it was all much appreciated, a big thanks to the hares. A good a-site was chosen, not too far out with scenic views across the lake and the usual array of vicious insects attacking everyone. Our GM Flying Frog called the circle and proceeded to christen the new shoes followed by the hares on in to explain the run. Golden wallabies are cached for collection, take only 1 and the run starts here, our hares informed us. Some guys with inside information head off and soon we hit paper. The run had plenty of checks and false trails to keep everyone together and good running for the FRB's including Spag Head, Seaman Stains and Miserable Cunt to blast off at breakneck speed. The first runners were back after 30 minutes with the remainder following fairly close behind.  
On returning to the A-site, there were tasty sausages on the Barbie and everyone is in good spirits. Our GM called a circle and the hares proceeded to do some sort of aboriginal booze dance while playing didgeridoo, boomerangs, sticks and a swinging rope thing then taking their seat on the ice, were joined by a late comer whose disrespecting arse felt the chill of the bucket. A good run was declared by all and the Hares explained that their authentic hand carved and hand painted Australian instruments are going to be auctioned in aid of Care for Kids. There was frantic and slightly confused bidding to follow with an outcome of 20,000 baht going to KY Kev. Jai dee maak maaak. The collectors of the golden wallabies, myself included were called in to claim our special prize which is to have our buttocks chilled.  
Jail Bait on in to conduct the raffle where there are extra prizes provided by the hares. Fini the Faggot won 2 prizes and is iced for his good fortune while his Virgin Jason, gets cooled off in the bucket for a false call. Uncle Fester after realising his prize contained a free trip to the bucket, promptly discards it taking a t-shirt and was iced for his troubles. 
The best dressed Aussies were called in by KAM with VV winning, Clit Face second, Rocky third and Ringworm and Fucking Dog as runners up, all were rewarded for their efforts with t-shirts and inflatable animals.
Leavers were called in for a drink and Piss Poorer took a seat for being a lying leaver. Knob Marley was invited to test drive the new "Fucked up hat" for his efforts regarding last weeks events with the hot dogs at TQ2, where along the line it was realised that he is actually a hero but gets to drink anyway. Returnees were next in and Lord Lucan rides the ice for being a lying returnee or was he just not listening? 
The circle was handed over to bad RA Festering Streaker, who first dealt with the hash shits and hash trash. Spag Head was rewarded for wearing his insignia by losing it to Retard Wanker who received double hash shit for not wearing his and is then ordered into the bucket for drinking too slowly. Fini the Faggot was reprimanded for not wearing his hash trash hat and his backside is bound for the bucket after it is discovered there was an issue with a false call in the raffle. Jason gets revenge on his sponsor. Lord Lucan was called in next after it was discovered that he caused the mix up in the US grand prix by using their tyres as new soles for his trainers. T4 was next due to his financial advise to his teelac the previous week being of a thrifty nature in his favour. Allah's Arsehole took a seat and was questioned over his whereabouts last Thursday. He claimed to be in Taiwan and his rock solid alibi Lord Lucan confirms this. A 1 minute silence followed with respect to those killed and injured in last week's spineless terrorist attack on London.  
The GM took charge again and welcomed the virgins and visitors to our hash followed by the anniversaries. All Aussies were called in to chill their cheeks along with the Irish. Bazil was treated to a spell in the bucket for being a lying Aussie, claiming to be born in UK. The hares were promptly allowed to stand as they had a song for us and are duly replaced by the Belgians as it was Flemish day. The musical extravaganza that followed was entitled "My poo ying wont come back" which went down well with those seated as it was not too long. 
The good RA Sir Chicken Fucker began his circle with a disappointed Chicken Nugget getting his revenge on Apples Turnover, who had promised to take him to see the new batman film but didn't. 2 people with less than 500 runs were caught sitting in the circle and promptly iced for their crime and it was also discovered that they were French. They got off lightly if you ask me. Bottomless pit was called in for the heinous crime of losing 3 bottles of beer whilst moving the beer truck. Fortunately it was only tiger and not 2 crates as was originally thought so he got away with a double down down. John and Angela were next to sit down as it was discovered that they were about to get married. That is normally enough in itself for some ice therapy but John had been caught down walking street cavorting with some ladies with that little bit extra. Flipper was next in to thank her for cooking the sausages.  
The hares came back in to perform a rendition of the crowd pleaser "What the fuck is hash?" and remained in to finish off with the hash hymn before we headed off back to the Scandi bar, where the food was delicious as usual and those who came back were well behaved. An excellent evenings entertainment was had by all. 

ON ON,
Cabbage Head