Monday again and I would wager Marco Polo never had to travel so far for his jollies. Still I should make the effort after missing last week when I was having hospital test results explained to me by my doctor. "You have an enlarged heart Free Willy". Surprised me I never realised I had one anymore. Incidentally would the current keeper of said organ please return it? The Oxford English dictionary describes the word experience as learning from ones mistakes. So why have today’s "experienced" hares Flying Frog and Spaghetti Head chosen such a God awful inaccessible A-Site? Apparently this was the site of Flying Frogs first ever run. Many people lose their cherry in the back seat of a car but resort to beds in the future. The Hashers who can stand up form a circle for the ritual blessing of shoes by acting grand master SCF. Off the intrepid ones go for circuit of the shadowing mountain complete with soft sand water hazard and the FRB’s duly trot back shaken not stirred an hour later. Did I run? No. Watching Hashers and respective cars slip slide over the A-Site is much more fun. Time to wind down and the circle called. Raffle dealt with and I have been asked to make it known to all that raffle Mistress Sun Flower does NOT work in the bar these days.
As Stalin said "One hash is a tragedy. 907 Hash's are a statistic. Yes its Sir Airheads circle and of course ices the hares. The assembled multitude generally agree the run was a good one but oh what an A-Site. To confirm the run opinion we always ask a Hasher who last hared a run in 1989 and stands at the back of the circle contributing sweet F.A. most weeks. Yes King Yao Yao agrees it was a good run. Little Tommy Tulips our very own Arthur Askey (i.e. he has had the same act for fifty years) falls on the ice. His one eyed mate from the same part of cloth cap land gets named Sammy Davis Jnr. Derelick is back in town and Sir Airhead ices him while telling of his latest series of whippings, strokes and beatings. I may have a job for you old son. Incidentally did you know Derelick was the co-founder of the Thursday Unmentionable Hash? A Hash so secret the fifteen thousand cracks who have signed up on a Monday over the years refuse to discuss it. Nor does Derelick actually. Little Tommy Tulips falls on the ice again. "Ah uup mother where's me ferrets." SCF takes over and his future son-in-law officially asks for his daughters hand in holy matrimony. Hey pal don't try humping the blocks of ice up the aisle. Visitors and Virgins duly dealt with then birthdays mentioned. How about a birthday to celebrate a decent A-Site!! No T-4 this week so being short on material SCF decides to bring in the over sixty Hashers for a celebration of geriatric Hashing. As it's the Kings Birthday and Fathers Day as well and not to be seen to be antidisestablishmentarianismal all the recent fathers (the ones that are aware or admit the fact anyway) come in to celebrate their misfortune. Little Tommy Tulips falls on the ice again. Stop stop Tommy your killing me. A whole generation of the Sir Chicken family on ice before the Hares confirm they do not have a song as usual. Final downs downs rounded off before the Hash hymn duly strangled then it’s the long trek back to Bobs BBQ and grill for the happy hour. Although 50% of hashers with their own transport cannot park but at least it is a new venue which I will assume in personal abstentia live up to expectations. Unlike the A-Site. If I have forgotten anyone tough! Faces and Fannies I never forget but names are for tombstones.

On On
Free Willy

Note from the Hash Sheet EDITOR/Hare: Weird that only one Hasher complains about the A-site, also there were no cars slip sliding so far as I remember. It was told in the circle, parking space at the Happy Hour Bar, was just around the corner which most of the people found. Pay more attention next time amigo!