The year of the Rooster has finished and according to the Chinese calendar we have now entered into the year of The Dog. Or Fire Dog for the years 1946 & 2006. (The Rat arrives next year which is perhaps more pertinent). These Dogs according to the Chinese "possess a sexual attractiveness that make them irresistible to others" Other Dogs? -so who was born in 1946? As the Hashers gathered prior to the run it was interesting to observe the canine traits (nothing to do with Dr Who), there was a lot of hand shaking perhaps sniffing and smelling was in evidence but more than that there was hash pack behaviour. Are these signs that the Year of the Dog is upon us. However I deviate form my real purpose, to write a run story.
An A site new to the Monday Hash is always a good start and the hares had found very beautiful position under a back drop of rolling hills but unfortunately next to some mosquito propagation ponds - so who forgot their deet? As the GM arrived in his almost new Frog Mobile pickup in the company of today’s hare (who was made to ride in the back) Knickerless was heard to remark about how the car was now sporting 'Gargoyle' go faster images. No Pam it’s to ensure following traffic keeps their distance. BNB and Ringworm concurred it was a good idea. Circle called and the hares explain the run ON OUT and a very large pack ambles away. The FRB'S go the wrong way from the start and go straight on instead of turn right to find the first paper. Then it was through some narrow twisting paths between the mosquito ponds before starting to climb into the hills. Looking down as we crested the first hill the pack was snaked out below like a gigantic human caterpillar. The first check held the pack for a while before ON ON was called to the left and then is was down through some high grass into a streambed and then ON UP through some more grass, across a dirt track and into a rubber plantation (still climbing) and the next check. Wahoo- This run is more like a Bush or Jungle Hash! ON ON right called towards the barbed wire- some go under, some go over, some go through but some like Timmy Tight Pants leave their gonads behind!! Now we traverse the hill along some cattle tracks- Jelly brain spears himself through his shoulder not once but twice on the same tree. Dizzy was going well until Really Sadistic ran under his legs and took him out. At this stage the track became very slippery and many hashers went base over apex as we went downwards to more barbed wire, a field of tapioca and the next check. As we arrived it was evident the FRB'S had stopped calling ON ON and had omitted to break the check - perhaps the GM should think about holding special training courses (on ice) for these inadequate people. We arrived back at the A site after a very enjoyable 35 min hash and then started getting into the real business of a few ice cold beers prior to the circle being called.
The circle - among the highlights which were note before I suffered pen equipment failure were - Hashers late for the circle iced.-Hares iced and declared a good run. Hare iced for being mentally deficient and providing poor directions to the A site. John Tralala (bus driver) was given his new year present. Hashers without Hash shirts iced. Perhaps T4 (aka BCK) was iced but I missed that!! BNB and Ringworm iced because one of them purloined money from a grandmother- whose grandmother?? Then it was swing low and all on board the hash bus next stop OLALA.

ON ON
ANOTHER SCB Lord Lucan