First, some free advice. Don't schedule a dentist appointment the morning after any Hash Run...I just had two more fillings and the nurse again rejected me for dinner. Now in rejection mode and pain in my mouth I must write the Scribe Report. Second, some sad news from the USA. No I'm not referring to the USA Team's loss in the World Cup vs. Czech. With their pathetic defence they might as well pack up and go home...Instead for those who haven't been informed, either later this year or early in 2007 The Stardust Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada on the beautiful Las Vegas Strip will close!  Consider this year the epilogue. As of last month they are taking Hotel Reservations until November 1. It opened in 1958 and will now fail to reach the 50th Anniversary. Did you know the book and movie Casino is based on the Stardust in the 1970's and early 80's? On-On now with today's run. Here is my first bet.  

RINGWORM... you're going to Cooperstown. You'll be elected first year of eligibility to the HHH Scribe's Hall of Fame. Its 6:5 your vote will be unanimous. Your Scribe of the Year (almost every year) in my opinion. Start working on your acceptance speech. As a masterful Hall of Fame Scribe I hope the GM and future GM's don't neglect you on occasions. 

I showed up at the A site on a non-eventful bus ride, following an eventful night at TQ with PIMP, SIR AIRHEAD, DRIPPY, DOG LICKS ITS DICK and others. I approached our GRAND MASTER and told him, DOG LICKS ITS DICK has returned and in past year's CHICKEN FUCKER would appoint him as scribe. The G.M. said good idea, SINGAPORE SUCKER you're the scribe. Good idea, huh? 

Anyway I'll cut the crap about the wonderful A site being so close to Pattaya, new shoes etc and get down to the nitty-gritty. The Belgium Hares explained in Englium about the Run. They were polite informing us that at any check you don't have to run more that 200 meters to find paper. Off we trot in first gear to the first (of way too many) checks. Hounds were scattered trying to solve the check. A couple hashers returned from the left saying they've run about 100 meters and no paper. Now I know I'm a history teacher and maths isn't my strength but why would you only run 100 meters when told to run 200 meters by the hares? I'm trying to figure how this "adds up". Then On-On is called to the right where the pack runs to a FT. So we hear On-On again to the left. Returning to the check we pace ourselves on. The run had almost everything. Hills, valleys, water, creeks, good trails, shiggy, shade and too many checks. Nice scenery, and for additional views, I slowed down for part of the run and followed TADPOLE... CHICKEN FUCKER was Hash Hero for spotting a well disguised hole in the ground and covered it up to prevent injuries. Well done CHICKEN!!  

The Hares did a great job with the trails, but what has happened to the noise from the Hounds? Running on the trails I felt like this was a silent meditation run. Very few were hollering On-On. How about some more hearty  On-On's with gusto from everyone. Speaking of hearty and gusto, let’s talk about beer. The small pack I was with returned to the A-site in 1:05 for refreshments. Feeling slightly overheated I mingled with only a few Hashers. I chatted with the always beautiful and intelligent KNICKERLESS about Hashes in Singapore and later with the not so handsome and slight lack of intelligent, ARSE-HOLEO about the Hong Kong Hashes. Reason for mentioning this is I recommend when you travel around SE Asia or anywhere try other Hashes. Its fun and interesting how other groups operate.  

Circle is called by our grand GM FLYING FROG, and first is an announcement from FINI the FAGGOT telling us about the Mid Summer Run next week. Rumours started spreading like wildfire that it really is the Gay Pride Run, but we must state this is only rumours, hence the BBC & CNN will send reporters next week to the scene. Raffle: No controversies tonight. Well done SUNSHINE. The Bad RA SIR AIRHEAD has control of the circle and ices the GM and also some of the "Communist” committee: BOTTOMLESS PIT, WANK-KING, and MISERABLE CUNT all accused of not allowing the Betty Boop Run this year. Fingers were being pointed at each other and hopefully will be resolved next year. Did anyone notice as the Scribe did that UNCLE FESTER was leaning in the circle with white smoke exhausting from his ears about why no Betty Boop. This Hasher has won many awards for his Hash Costume and now can't wear it, unless he compromises to the fictitious Gay Pride Run. UNCLE FESTER then started mumbling (bad news) and looked almost heart-broken. Speaking of someone who doesn't appear "heart-broken" is BITCH DOG who was iced with his crack and holy water. She was named PUPPY LOVE. I expected to hear from MOM singing "And They Call it Puppy love" by Donny Osmond, but to no avail tonight. Finally SIR AIRHEAD iced the Hares. Most Hashers released their feelings (ordeal) about the run as ...Good run. Which I agree. RINGWORM gets iced for writing a letter to The BKK Post about the World Cup television coverage, who later is iced again with BIG NOSED BASTARD, KNICKERLESS, SEAMAN STAINS, MISERABLE CUNT for renaming some of the players names. Also instead of him watching the games on his "modest" TV. he now has a brand new 69" TV. Some of the Cracks were recognized for displaying candles in respect to the King of Thailand and also those Hashers in yellow shirts. Well done! 

CHICKEN FUCKER has the circle with his midget in the brown bag. CHICKEN NUGGET is called to identify who stole his food for dinner and it was MISERABLE CUNT. This can't be; he does nothing wrong... yet NUGGET yells at him "Food Stealer". Did you observe NUGGET jumping up and down in the circle like a yo-yo. He's slowly getting occasional ice power and he's not even 10 years of age. You definitely want to be his friend, cuz wait another 10 years (or less) when he has ice power by himself!! This is amazing and scary. Ally yourself with NUGGET. In between people getting iced their were: Returnees, Anniversaries, and Virgins etc. Tonight I would describe these events as "plain vanilla." Good fun and recognition. Hares had no song, so ice for them. We sang the Hash Hymn, way too fast in my opinion and off to Jasmine and a wonderful supper thanks to KARAMBA. Thank-you KARAMBA.. See everyone next week for the Midsummer or fictitious Gay Pride Run.  

Now I require repose and afterwards of course, one fine cigar. 

ON-ON
SINGAPORE SUCKER