I come from Mili Lah

You know there is all this stuff about the world cup, all us guys walking around bigger than normal bags under our eyes through lack of sleep, Soi 6 suffering as punters dash off to watch the match, it’s effecting everybody, look at Drippy did you notice yesterday that he is wearing this patch, it looks like a big plaster, he had to have this especially made for the world cup. You have all (well if you get e mail) seen these thing advertised, they come in between the Rolex and Viagra advertisement, it’s a patch and you are supposed to put it on your arm or somewhere and it will instantly make a certain part or your anatomy get bigger by two inches, I tried it and look at my F**king nose. Anyway Drippy had one made with an antidote in it so that when he wants to watch the match he just slaps it on and it acts like a deflator and it allows him to concentrate on the football for a couple of hours.
Pattaya ……. Every day is interesting who need movies, if you can remember last week I was iced because I have got a Nutter living next door, the Chicken Fellow explained how he had found a headless body in the Nutter’s fridge, last night after getting home from the run there is this commotion  outside the door, I puff out my chest, check that the door is locked and look out of the peep hole, good no Nutter, so I creep outside, I am not making this up, and there is a huge Fridge outside the Nutter’s door, I push Deep Sleep in front of me and tell her to open it, as she opens it the Nutter also opens his door, thankfully on the latch, I scream, the Nutter screams, Deep Sleep screams and we dash back into our room and lock the door, there was something in there but we are not sure what it is, the Fridge was gone this morning!! To be continued…..
I went to Ringworm’s house to pick him up as usual and he has got a new dog, it’s a Martian Terrier, clearly the Martian Terrier is a dog and not a Bitch as it was sort of curled up licking it’s balls, Corr I exclaimed “I wish I could do that” Ringworm replied “well if you pat it on the head and give him a biscuit he might let you”.
We arrive at the familiar A site, well groomed as you would expect from the experienced hare team of Spag Head and Singapore Sucker, later we were informed by Sir Airhead that we had been there two weeks ago, Clit face who can remember these things corrected him to say it was 8 weeks ago, how can you expect somebody to remember these things and work in the TQ1.  There was a large number of  visitors some like Big Spender looked familiar, in fact a whole gaggle of visitors from Miri in Sarawak, they looked like they were on a spandex factory outing, but they did not know what to expect. We did as we had been there 6 weeks ago. This time we started off down hill, a couple of good checks kept the pack together as we looped around the hillside. Finally the inevitable we had to go over the top, the 360 degree views were sublime, always a good idea a down hill On In.

Haberdasher. Thinking he is in for a bumper day with all the visitors is struggling to make any sales, more of this later. The smell of Hot dogs and Burgers wafts around, the rain only really threatens and its beer time. The general consensus is that England are crap and Germany are starting to look good, I am tempted to mention the War here but I am not going to. They have this beer in Southern England called Spitfire, one of it’s advertisements is “Downed all over Kent, just like the Luftwaffe”.
The Grand Master Flying Frog called for the circle (don’t worry Patrick I am not going to mention where I met you on Sunday) the Hares were iced plus a bunch of other guys for something but I had forgotten I was the scribe and was not paying attention. The raffle well performed by Mrs. Swallow.  Sir Airhead took over, the Hares were back in  and I think all agreed it was a good run, unless you are Red Arsehole who was told it was a short flat run, I can not believe you fell for that! Sir Airhead brought in all the visitors, he asked them where they were from, Mili they replied, which if you are Chinese and come from Miri it may sound like Mili, they were in and out of the circle and bucket all night. Bimbo was brought in as he was selling T shirt’s at our run, we had a comparison between his thin revealing singlet modeled by one of Mr. Dogs family and a big sturdy PH3 shirt modeled by somebody not in Mr. Dogs family, not much of a contest there. The highlight of the evening was the belching, as the two giants of the game KAM and Fowl F limbered up, Ringworm muttered to Knickerless, “you know if I had stayed in my previous life I would probably be at some party in St Johns Wood with the beautiful people right now”, Knickerkess replied “ I could have married a Singapore stock broker and could now be in the Tanglin Club sipping cocktails” but no they preferred to stand in the middle of a field and view the cultural exchange of an Aussie and a Brit facing off in who could make the best (measured in volume X duration) Burp, with a score of 20 each it was a draw. There were plenty of others iced, MC was yellow carded for stealing Chicken Nuggets food, Ball Ringer for something, but there was one memorable event, Sir Airhead was iced as a leaver, he is going on a horse riding holiday in Montana.
Finally the Hash Hymn and onto the bus back to Pattaya, hope the Mili guys had a good time. Thanks Hares.

On On Big Nosed B

Q. What goes Beep Beep Beep Beep and has got no cups in it?
A. The England open top bus backing into its garage for another 4 years.