HASH SHEET - RUN 1456

MISS DIRECTIONS:

We normally meet at 2.45 pm on 2nd Road opposite The new McDonalds, near the Lek Hotel, or go directly to the A-site:
The bus will depart at (3:00 pm) from 2nd Road opposite the new McDonalds. Near the Lek Hotel.
The run will commence after sign ups at the a-site at approx 4:00 pm.
For more info call GM Hellboy on 0847809666 or GM Scar With Two T's on 0860511485

Run costs: 350 Baht male, 150 Baht female and kids under 16 are 50 baht.
(Please bring correct change.)

Hares:

HELLBOY
&
COCK IN ROBIN

Happy Hour Bar:

"Animals, Drums, Illiterates, Low Castes, and Women are worthy of being beaten".. quote from Manu Smriti circa 1560.

And in the beginning was Hanuman. And Hanuman gathered his disciples around him and commanded them to go forth and spread his word and teach the people to "Get biggy with Mr..Shiggy"
And the disciple known as Molly Kirgis did go forth and come to the wilderness then known as Pattaya. And the people did flock to hear the word of Hanuman and Molly's tribe became known as the PH3 and did prosper. And her tribe were baptized with ice cold water for indeed they were the chosen people. And Lord Chicken Fcuker begot Master Bates and Cabbage Head begat Cabbage princess and Sir Airhead and E. T. did begat anything in a G-String and number on their breast. And many fell by the wayside and many were punished, ice being Hanuman's tool, but the PH3 continued to flourish and increase as the multitude obeyed Hanuman's commandments: "Thou shalt follow paper", "Thou shalt not commit Rule 6" and "The GM is always right....except when he is not"......and Hanuman did look down upon his people....and Hanuman was pleased.
And it came to pass that disciples from around the world did flock to Pattaya to celebrate the 28th year of the PH3.

In troubled times and with no 10% discounts on T.Q. drinks to help the PH3 bar on offer 100 disciples decided to brave the potential torrential rain that in the end failed to materialize thus proving that the "The sun shines on the righteous."
Incumbent PH3 G.M. (except when he is playing pool) HellBoy calls the circle and welcomes virgins and visitors as well as christening new shoes.
The lead hare Sir Spaghetti Head was called back to Florida on a moments notice last Saturday night. Maybe he has gone to join the rich wrinkles brigade of the sunshine state or maybe he has gone to Tampa with the kids but whatever personal problems drew him away from the Land of Smiles we do trust for some peaceful conclusion.
Mrs Head dutifully takes the role of stand-in boss to show the virgin hare Golden Dildo the ropes.
Good to see old faces such as Sir Frog (now there was a G.M...multi-lingual, cuni-lingual he could do the lot) and Airy Pussy proving she can have people assassinated as well as show skin on the ice and also in hopeful attendance a trio of visitors led by 81 who had come all the way just to see Spag Head only to be told the bad news on the bus.
Circle called and after virgins, visitors and new shoes are all dealt with, off out into to the wild blue yonder traipse the multitude for the first run of the new calendar year. At this point it would be easy here to simply tell readers that if you want to know what the run was like then please go out and do it yourself.!!
However being the nice guy I am I will glean relative information from my fellow mismanagement runners to give a faithful appraisal of the circuit.
HellBoy, Bottomless Pit, Liberace, Sweetie, Clit Face, Airhead, Miserable Cunt.......no they did not run finding something a more productive way to spend a Monday afternoon maybe....Hmmmmmm...this leaves Ball Ringer...problem with asking Wendy if he enjoyed the run is he is the only man in Christendom with no mobile phone......Some feat bearing in mind there are 11/2 mobile telephones for every man, woman, child and katoey in Thailand...I know I will telephone PH3 G.M. when HellBoy is playing pool Scar With Two T's...Only problem is the last time he picked from me the reply was " Not now Willy I am having sex with something.!!!." Oh Well I will have to remember the comments from the circle so more of the run of later.
After a not suitable period of winding down the the assortment of half naked and half-wound down hashers are called early yet again for the circle by G.M. HellBoy. Hey Guys don;t shoot the piano player. HellBoy calls the circle not me whether I have 35K worth of AGM shirts still on floor and half sold raffle books or not So if you are in your jock or squatting with your knickers down having a pee when the circle is called please take it up with the teutonic "gunshamakker". Once called the great half-washed decide the run was quite adequate save for an irate farmer threatening to shoot trespassers on his land. Always remember people that possession is nine tenths of the law in Thailand...especially when it is the farangs possessions that Thai's are trying to acquire.
Raffle time and first I make the point that last Saturday the 28th was World Holocaust Remembrance Day and that the government of Norway sent a personal letter of apology to the State of Israel regarding deportation of the chosen people to Germany and thus an "uncertain" future. Sir Free Willy has been waiting all weekend for an e-mail from HellBoy along the same lines offering free drinks and short times at the Titty Twister but it must have gone into filter box as he has not seen it.
Mrs Head wins the Horlicks and mugs, Honey Bear the DVD Player, Crazy Pussy the sandwich maker (those two can make a sandwich for me anytime.!!!),Try-A-Fuck two bottles of Boss wine, Rear Gunner the Winnie the Pooh ice box (I thought it said Winnie the Jew when I bought it), Sleeping Beauty the Johnnie Walker Whiskey, Rasputin the t-shirt and DVD's, HellBoy the mobile telephone (and immediately sells it on credit to Colonel Cornhole (are you sure you have not been circumcised HB.?) and the see-through nightie and panties won by of course by the one and only Scar With Two T's....just wondering if Scar's sexual conquests will be able to fit their dick in the panties.!!!

The old Mismanagement are called in and as is custom told to fuck off. This includes Clit Face who has been replaced by the Village Idiot and Miserable Cunt who, after resigning mid-term has the satisfaction of now officially doing fuck-all for the PH3.
New Mismanagement, duly wearing their new uniform AGM 2012 t-shirts, called in and welcomed. If you want to see the up to date Mismanagement list look on the PH3 web site that others attempt to aspire to.
Emperor Airhead takes the helm to ice the hares and as previously agreed the run is judged a success. Liberace is brought in to confirm he is now in the money lending business after safely keeping the Hash cash in his personal bank account.
Piss Poorer's intended mia to be gets a name, No Nickers..Never forget it was at Piss Poorer's early morning Thai wedding that Sheik Mee Mee got paralytic drunk and caused all sorts of problems on the Halloween Run later that day and has subsequently not bee seen since.....When are you getting married again Piss Poorer.?.
Scar With 2 T's takes over over and Russian virgin Alexander Mashinistov, brought to the PH3 by the pot less Estonia Fucker, is iced to make the point that the PH3 is not a race but others were still pissed off that the Russian rat-catcher came in first like some latter day Valerie Bortsoff.
HellBoy (he's the Grand Master) ices Scar and Golden Dildo to expose their pussy sharing antic concerning  Rear of the Year and fellow Russian bed ballerinas. Colonel Cornhole gets the soggy botty treatment for "buying" the mobile phone won in the raffle by HellBoy but not having the funds to pay him.
A PH3 circle would not be complete without Lord Chicken Fcuker strutting his stuff and after explaining that Master bates prefers staying at home with one of the local girls to going on the Hash. A gaggle of virgins get iced for their trouble.
The thus far anonymous German Dirk Zulla finally gets a name, Next Week
Scar back in to punish the noisy ones such as ET and Velcro Dick.
Hares song duly performed by the PH3's own version of Lea Salonga a.k.a. Honey Bear and background crack chorus. As the song was in Tagalog I have no idea what they were saying but the actions left little to the imagination. Did you really meet her in a monastery Arse Hopper.?.
Hash Hymn duly strangled and it was off to the ever popular Jameson's for the happy hour which I will assume in personal abstentia was the usual excellent fare supplied by Big Chief Wombmaster.

If I have forgotten anyone them my apologies. Faces and fannies I never forget but names are for tombstones.
On On

Sir Free Willy