Scribe Report by Turd Burglar
Monday again and today is the Halloween Run. Last week EMPEROR AIRHEAD explained to us that Halloween is an American idea and occasion. WANK-KING’S WANKER further warned us it would be better to take part in the spirit of the occasion than to abstain. My reason for dressing up as a member of the KKK was solely to achieve my free run.
Wow, I am honest.
Today’s hares VV and TAMPAX had laid a good run as was expected. I personally had chosen to walk during which I noticed that CABBAGE FLAPS felt ill and was going to turn back but CABBAGE PRINCESS helped her grandmother lead from front to finish. SLIPPERY ARSE, DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES and STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS as well as CABBAGE HEAD and the returning GM SCAR WITH 2 T’S were the first to finish the real run. WEE MOANING WEASEL, REAR GUNNER and MENTAL DISORDER made it back as darkness drew in.
The raffle winners ROBBING BASTARD, STEPTOE, BANANAS, BELL STAR, CLEOPATRA, BABY POWDER and STUPID KRAUT KUNT collected their prizes along with their down-downs in the circle.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD controlled the circle and awarded the best dressed hashers as HONEY BEAR, MENSTRUAL DISORDER and BELL STAR. And the kids SNOOPY and CABBAGE PRINCESS were also judged winners. No prizes this year????????? EMPEROR AIRHEAD iced CABBAGE HEAD and some fellow Marines and reminded us it was 349 years to the day that the Royal Marines were founded. EMPEROR AIRHEAD iced the lone virgin for walking and not running on his first hashing experience.
Stand in GM WANK-KING’S WANKER took the circle and presented LONE WOLF with his 300 Run Mug. It transpired it took LW two days to motorcycle back from Malaysia…..I suggested it would have been quicker by bus. WW gave himself no award for reaching his 150 Run milestone………..Just as well as the PH3 do not give 50 awards!!!!!!! WW iced the leavers SPERM POLLUTER along with his son Jack, WEE MOANING WEASEL, STICKY KNICKERS and STUPID KRAUT KUNT.
Welcome back SCAR WITH 2 T’S who takes the helm to ice MENTAL DISORDER who only allowed his fellow hasher’s one beer on the bus during their recent excursion to Cambodia. SPERM POLLUTER is iced for revealing his photos of a lady boy bar swimming pool. STUPID KRAUT KUNT joins him for defending the action. SIR MC iced while he is presented with a book to help him lose weight to remedy his health…SMC choosing not to follow the SIR FREE WILLY weight loss program!!! HONEY BEAR gets soggy botty treatment for looking too good in a fish net top and for not removing her bra.
STEPTOE ices your Scribe for being honest. Let’s hope this trait is not catching!!!
CABBAGE HEAD took charge of the circle and ices the honest hashers who admitted drinking his rum…… You see, honesty is catching. G.I.JOE, RUDI VOELLER, SCAR WITH 2T’S and WANK-KING’S WANKER follow on for refusing to admit they had spliced the main brace. SHIT MY PANTS is iced for his further brown adventures. A few Germans are iced in as substitute Belgians as there are these days a lack of Belgium attendance on the PH3.
On a personal note my reflection has to be passed on that the entire Cabbage Family are terrific, especially CABBAGE PRINCESS whose diminutive stature does not leave her in awe of the size of others.
No hare’s song as the two culprits had decided to vacate the A-Site so CABBAGE HEAD plays a tune on HONEY BEAR’s instrument. Hash Hymn sung and it is off to the happy hour at the FLB Bar where around fifteen stalwarts enjoyed an extension of the evening. Thanks to the boss Martin for his kind hospitality.
In closing I am back off to Blighty for a few months so I dictated this sermon to SIR FREE WILLY who gave it a good “polishing” in his own inimitable style…………….blame him for any issues.
ON ON ! Turd Burglar
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 64
40 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
2 Samniang Rattanamool; 2 Jack Ward; 434 BALL RINGER; 22 BANANAS; 496 BOW WOW; 167 CABBAGE HEAD; 261 CABBAGE QUEEN; 173 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 190 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1237 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 233 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 39 FREQUENT STREAKER; 312 FUCK THE TRUTH; 470 G.I. JOE; 127 GANGREEN; 95 HONEY BEAR; 167 LIBERACE; 26 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 49 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 56 MENTAL DISORDER; 576 MRS. HEAD; 49 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 230 PELER; 141 ROBBING BASTARD; 12 SHIT MY PANTS; 532 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 648 SIR DOG; 552 SIR MC; 551 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 717 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 84 SLIPPERY ARSE; 407 SNOOPY; 23 SPERM POLLUTER; 293 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 114 STEPTOE; 6 STICKY KNICKERS; 181 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 253 SWEETIE; 154 TURD BURGLAR; 150 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 86 WEE MOANING WEASEL
3 Johannes Fink; 6 BELL STAR; 7 BOXING KANGAROO; 154 CABBAGE FLAPS; 83 CABBAGE PRINCESS; 21 FOXY CLEOPATRA; 27 GOLDEN WATERFALL; 301 LONE WOLF; 26 LUMP; 118 PINKABOO; 30 POSTMAN LICKS TWICE; 198 REAR GUNNER; 70 RUDI VOELLER; 160 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 546 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 255 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 355 TAMPAX; 651 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR
4 Visitors with their Total Runs – Mother Hash
12 TOSSA – Botany Bay Hash, Australia
10 SHORT TIME – Phnom Penh Hash, Cambodia
3 BABY POWDER – Taunton H3, UK
2 BULLET – Taunton H3, UK
LONE WOLF – 300th Run Mug
WANK-KING’S WANKER – 150th Run
STUPID KRAUT KUNT
WEE MOANING WEASEL