Run 1698

 


—– RUN REPORT —–

Scribe Report by Steptoe

The Run

GANGREEN welcomes one and all and we are off led by the usual suspects RUNNING BARE, SPERM POLLUTER, it’s straight on and left to a check, FT found by GI JOE straight ahead, TURD BURGLAR objects to STEPTOE drawing on his big girly nipples, even though STEPTOE asserts he is ‘Banksy’ and MR BURGLAR can sell his nipples for USD 500K.

Check broken left by SPERM POLLUTER, next check broken quickly to the left, it’s already turning into a runners run. Some runners looking to bet on ROBBING BASTARD’s time back at the circle assuming he makes it.

We get applause from a sole Thai and then meet up with SIR MC, how did that happen? MC asserts he ‘runs with his brain’, well none of us actually leave our brains in the car park as far as I know.

We navigate past a digger destroying the road and the pack is very strung out. DEL BOY not impressed. Cows…  We check to the right find paper and then lose it again, but meet up with GI JOE, SPERM POLLUTER, BEVERLEY HILLS, RUNNING BARE and  NA HEE MAN. Much confusion until paper found to the left at site of another digger.

Yellow plastic signs at the Runner\Walker split. SIR MC accuses STEPTOE of sounding like SIR FREE WILLY, as insults go that’s pretty extreme. If we tied WILLY and threw him into a pond would he float or sink? Should we weigh him against a stack of bibles and hear testimony against him? Does soaking a cake in his urine and feeding it to a dog cause him to cry out in pain? Does his body bear the devil’s teat? Does he mutter to himself and has anybody seen him dance in the jungle with the devil and then fly off into the night with a loud cry? Only then shall we know…..

Pack is strung out again, we arrive at a check with cows it’s broken straight ahead and left onto Tarmac for a hundred metres and then left onto concrete and eventually dirt and a check broken straight ahead the Kiwi has gone left. Mars Bar MARATHON MAN admits to competitive running with a totally oblivious STEPTOE. SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC and his crack On catch up as we go left at walled house, through some trees and On spots paper in the distance.

After some running STEPTOE, ARSE-A-HOLIC, PELER, MARATHON MAN and On reach a previously broken check adjacent some cows. ARSE-A-HOLIC recognises the check, STEPTOE recognises the cows… WE’VE RUN IN A CIRCLE! On’s superior eyesight has spotted the Out trail from the In trail, bad haring. On has led four men astray. We go back to find we have been overtaken by ROBBING BASTARDooh the shame! Short run to the A-Site.

The Circle

GANGREEN: Welcomes one and all especially SIR MC on the ice and the suggestion he lays on food and drink for his birthday in two weeks time……..

Hares GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and THE WIZARD on ice together with BEVERLEY HILLS PINK COCK for complaining about angry balls? ZEAL ZUCKER aggressive dog. Generally, a good run, 21 on STEPTOE’s fuck scale (number of times he said fuck on the run) would have been 3 to 4 fucks less without the running in a circle.

STEPTOE and KIDNEY WIPER iced for drinking Tiger, in anticipation of upcoming Tiger Girls run! Lode Stockmans iced for no hash shirt.

SIR FREE WILLY does the Raffle thing: winners: THE WIZARD, virgin Joep Janssen, EMPEROR AIRHEAD, ZEAL ZUCKER, SQUEEZE MY TUBE, Lode, TELLY TUBBY, ARSE VAN HOLE, HARBOUR WHORE.

Iced – LINEAR ACCELERATOR for backing out of the hare this day at short notice.

GANGREEN: Iced – SIR FREE WILLY for bail revoked so Raffle cannot next week, LOST CAUSE taking over for a week.

EMPEROR AIRHEAD: Fresh from 4 weeks in Utah campaigning for Clinton? Ices hares GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and THE WIZARD for good run and espouses K. WIPER’s ability to live on vodka and human skulls after being abandoned in the desert.

BALL RINGER iced, who then ballerina fashion balances on one cheek on the ice, seems he’s deserving of an AIRHEAD award for being strong, silent and hating WILLY, gets metal box to keep his make-up in. HARBOUR WHORE and ARSE VAN HOLE iced for being Belgian and new hashers.

GANGREEN: Ices AIRHEAD and lays upon him the healing hands of jet lag (is that gay?) TURD BURGLAR iced for courting GANGREEN and bonding with AIRHEAD in Berlin…..

GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER: Culls old chair bound wankers, icing ROBBING BASTARD, SIR SPAG, SIR RSB. Ices WANK-KING’S WANKER for being old cunt without a chair.

LINEAR ACCELERATOR in bucket for backing out of hare and obliging K. WIPER to come out of retirement. Virgin in bucket for no hash shirt. Belgians and friend on ice, HARBOUR WHORE, ARSE VAN HOLE, RAT VON KIEL and Dutch virgin. Seems it’s ‘Good guys in and Bad guys out’ circle muses does this mean WILLY’s gone?

GANGREEN: Ices GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and SIR RSB for being his whinging bitch. ZEAL ZUCKER asserts they are boyfriends. ZEAL ZUCKER and TURD BURGLAR iced for having no friends and being outrageously gay. WANK-KING’S WANKER iced and left there!

NA HEE MAN: Belgians and Dutch on ice for legalising euthanasia, K. WIPER obinterjects and GANGREEN sings ‘Born Dead’ song. Ices SPERM POLLUTER and ZEAL ZUCKER for racing. Yanks & POCKET SOCKET in circle for Philippine President’s calling Obama ‘son of a whore/bitch’. Everybody agrees. ZEAL ZUCKER iced for suggesting circle has ‘unlimited supply of arseholes’ in it.

GANGREEN: Ices NA HEE MAN for googling euthanasia rather than porn like everybody else and getting blowjob from Transvestite in Angeles. Ices TURD BURGLAR for being sick puppy like NA HEE MAN.

Puts STEPTOE on ‘the ice of truth’ in vain hope the scribe will be accurate. Ices WANK-KING’S WANKER to call for hare song. Some talk about WILLY, TURD BURGLAR, pigs and sex but I’m too far gone to understand the import….

On-On!  Steptoe

P.S. LONELY WOLF insists I write he is the ‘best hash flash ever’.

Next week’s scribe is Pocket Socket

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—– STATS REPORT —–

Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.

Total Runners This Week – 57

Hashers Present Last Week – 35

15 ARSE VAN HOLE; 573 BALL RINGER; 195 BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK; 14 BOW TIE; 45 CASPAR; 82 CRAPPER; 63 DEL BOY; 606 G.I. JOE; 264 GANGREEN; 740 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 71 GOLDEN RIVET; 671 LADY FLIPPER; 313 LIBERACE; 103 LOST CAUSE; 179 MARATHON MAN; 720 MRS. HEAD; 120 POCAHONTAS; 46 POCKET SOCKET; 14 RAT VON KIEL; 208 ROBBING BASTARD; 145 RUNNING BARE; 214 SEAL SUCKER; 662 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 693 SIR FREE WILLY; 693 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 856 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 70 SPERM POLLUTER; 179 STEPTOE; 30 TELLY TUBBY; 12 THE WIZARD; 198 TURD BURGLAR; 174 TWO TIME; 786 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 12 VIOS; 298 WANK-KING’S WANKER

Returners – 18

4 Lode Stockmans; 356 BELL END; 94 BEN 10; 140 CROCODILE; 1368 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 8 HARBOR WHORE; 128 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 407 LONE WOLF; 45 NA HEE MAN; 333 PELER; 26 PHANTOM; 156 PINKABOO; 65 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 245 REAR GUNNER; 574 SIR MC; 415 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 388 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 491 TADPOLE

Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 3

  1 Onanong Kruewangpom – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
19 BLACK DIAMOND Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
  6 GASBAG Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines

Virgins – 1

Joep Janssen

Leavers – 0

~ none this week ~

Anniversaries – 0

~ none this week ~

Hash Name Events – 0

~ none this week ~

Saints and Sinners – 0

~ none this week ~

Birthdays – 0

~ none this week ~


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