We opened the circle with WHORE IN THE WINDOW Hash Crash. He fell over in front of the GM. The virgin spilt beer so he got iced for beer abuse.
Hares SMOKEY TRUCKY FUC*Y, ARSE VAN HOLE and UNSTABLE LOAD iced while we discussed the trail. Why were there no checks after 5 km?
And an extra hazard, a dead dog. I never saw it as I was needed to make the numbers up on the Beer Hunters bus.
NOT THE 9 O'CLOCK NEWS suggested the run was as flat as a run in Belgium. So generally it was a good run and nobody got lost (P*****A SM****). "I didn't get lost yesterday, I like walking 5 extra kms. ...in the dark."
DICK IN THE DYKE who was a Beer Hunter with me got iced and received a prize..... a phone he'd left on the baht bus....
Okay, Raffle time. Despite improving my chances of winning by actually buying a ticket it was not to be. The winners were STEPTOE (holiday for 2 in Bali), NICE BUT DIM who got named by NO MORE CUM later on (new Honda PCX white), LEG OVER (2 bed bungalow in the darkside), LOVE BOAT (romantic night out with Brad Pitt), SMOKEY TRUCKY F***Y (romantic night out with Tom Cruise), NO MORE CUM, SPASTIC WHORE KING, DIRTY DOG and VV (a romantic night out with each other).
DEL BOY, SPERM POLLUTER and DIRT LOONEY iced for scouting the trails at Khao Mai Keao for hash paper and rubbish (trash) before the official clean up day, last Saturday. "No good deed goes unpunished!"
ARSE VAN HOLE got awarded a 20 hares (shirt or badge or romantic night out with any catholic priest of his choosing).
Hashy birthday to BALL RINGER 71 and UNSTABLE LOAD 70 today who received a present (a romantic night out in soi 6/1). UNSTABLE LOAD also told the circle his other prezzy was a tandem parachute jump. Wow!
LORD CHICKEN F***ER expressed an obituary for his mate T4 aka Brown Card Ken who died in a m/c incident 10 years ago.
NO MORE CUM iced VELCRO DICK, CANNONBALL, GO SLOW and SPLINTER DICK for having something in common. I don't know what it could be; I didn't catch the answer. Something like who ate all the pies?
Tim from Torquay said to me after I asked him what hash name would he like? "Anything really. Well, anything except NICE BUT DIM." It was rubbing my hands with excitement. It was too much to keep to myself. I had to tell a responsible adult but being on the hash at the time I had to make do with NO MORE CUM. 'Nuff said.
SCARLET PIMPERNEL and HARD ON, the only Aussie frb's were iced for not being frb's. HARD ON had a bad foot and SP I didn't hear his pathetic excuse. Sorry, I mean reason.
Nomination for Wanker of the Week. CANNONBALL along with HARD ON and REAL OLD both for ringing phones in the circle. On the who gets the loudest cheer gets the wooden spoon rule, HARD ON just got it.
The Saturday clean up had over 30 people turn up but some said they were coming but didn't. All were harriettes well sort of, PENELOPE PITSTOP, HAPPY SURVIVOR (in her absence SHE'S THE BOSS) and KNICKERLESS iced.
LORD CHICKEN *UCKER iced DIARRHEA, WINDOW WANKER, GOLDEN RIVET and LOVE BOAT but I couldn't work out why except that they hadn't been on the ice. I was half-cut by then... Then, PARISIAN TITI and CHIP CHIP were iced and asked about their sexual preferences. Apparently three-somes was mentioned, whereupon i said incest is best (CHIP CHIP's sister is my partner MADAM SIN) and I ended up in the bucket.
We called on the hares to sing us a song when ARSE BANDIT sang a wonderful adaptation of "We Are the World", So wonderful was it that tears formed in hardened hashers eyes. So wonderful that the last verse never got sang as too much wonderfulness would spoil the circle.
Final down-downs BEN 10, BALL RINGER, CAPTAIN CONDOM, GO SLOW (from Hobart) DIRTY DOG , NO MORE CUM and BOB-A-GOB sang us 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' to close the hash.
On-On! Arse Bandit
Total Hashers This Week - 95
Hashers Present Last Week - 72
4 Steve Harnden; 6 Francis Meeusen; 4 Tim Rice; 105 ARSE BANDIT; 146 ARSE VAN HOLE; 731 BALL RINGER; 110 BEETROOT HEAD; 503 BELL END; 231 BEN 10; 178 BENGT POTATO; 72 BOB-A-GOB; 221 BURL IVES; 97 CANNONBALL; 145 CASPER; 47 CHIP CHIP; 165 DEL BOY; 34 DIARRHEA; 224 DIRT LOONEY; 3 DIRTY DOG; 38 FLATULENCE; 75 FRENCH KISS; 9 FUCK OFF; 762 G.I. JOE; 430 GANGREEN; 224 GOLDEN RIVET; 42 HARD ON; 110 HOI WAN; 34 HOT GOB; 32 KNICKERLESS; 559 LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 480 LIBERACE; 1168 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 255 LOST CAUSE; 126 LOVE BOAT; 148 MAYO QUEEN; 224 MISS USE ME; 308 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 4 NICE BUT DIM; 272 NO MORE CUM; 102 NO TRUCKING IDEA; 444 ODD-JOB; 180 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 47 PARISIAN TITI; 21 PATPOM; 31 PENELOPE PITSTOP; 173 PHANTOM; 76 POLE FUCKER; 37 REAL OLD; 46 SAUSAGE HEAD; 131 SCARLET PIMPERNEL; 97 SHE'S THE BOSS; 819 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 855 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 90 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 46 SMOKEY'S NANNY; 21 SNAKE BITE; 77 SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR; 24 SPASTIC WHORE KING; 173 SPERM POLLUTER; 236 STEPTOE; 152 TELLY TUBBY; 179 THE WIZARD; 242 TOM BOY; 27 TRAFALGAR; 315 TWO TIME; 178 UNSTABLE LOAD; 24 VEE GO; 455 VELCRO DICK; 947 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 469 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 109 WHORE IN THE WINDOW; 38 WINDOW WANKER;
Returners - 15
3 Joe Risicato; 3 Varida Wongtaphon; 124 BANANAS; 155 CAMEL HUMPER; 251 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 142 DESERT SCORPION; 12 DICK IN THE DYKE; 60 GOOSEY GOOSEY GOBBLER; 825 MRS. HEAD; 311 SCAR W/2TS; 964 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 12 SISTER FISTER FUCKWIT; 31 SPLINTER DICK; 175 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 6 TURN THE FUCKING METER ON;
Visitors - 6
1 CAPTAIN CONDOM - Chardonnay Hash, Australia
1 GO SLOW - Chardonnay Hash, Australia
7 SHITLIPS - Kowloon Hash, HK, China
10 BIG BOLLY - Pattaya Jungle Irregular Lunar Hash, Thailand
1 NOT THE NINE O'CLOCK NEWS - Singapore Hash, Singapore
4 LEG OVER - Wanchai Hash, Hong Kong
Virgins - 2
Kim Blakie; Dick Ingles;
Leavers - 0
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries - 1
ARSE VAN HOLE was congratulated for 20 Hared Runs.
Hash Naming Events - 1
Geir Sundvoien was given the New Hash Name NICE BUT DIM,
Saints and Sinners - 7
DEL BOY - Hash Hero
DIRT LOONEY - Hash Hero
SPERM POLLUTER - Hash Hero
Dick Ingles - Hash Crash
DICK IN THE DYKE - Hash Crash
WHORE IN THE WINDOW - Hash Crash
HARD ON - Wanker of the Week
Birthdays - 2
Happy Birthday BALL RINGER January 18.
Happy Birthday UNSTABLE LOAD - January 20.