Welcome


It's okay. You're in the right place

We are updating our website to a new format after five years. A lot of improvements have occurred in the software and we want to take advantage of better performance on mobile devices and to streamline the navigation of the site.

Please be patient with us as we migrate the 800+ pages and 18,000 photos to this new site layout. We are updating the basic functioning of the site so the site may look strange at times or not work correctly as we make the adjustments. But the Next Run Maps and Run Reports will always be right here on the home page.

Getting Around the Website

The sticky menu at the top (green hamburger for mobile) links to sections on this page. Clicking on any menu item autoscrolls to that section. No page reloading, quick and easy. The Home Page sections have most everything you want (Next Run Map, Latest Run Report, Statistics, ...).

Section sidebars have the links related to that section. For example, the Receding Hareline is linked in Upcoming Runs. You're never more than one or two clicks from anywhere on the site.

Brief Status Update

Receding Hareline Report

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The Receding Hareline is open to the end of June. Two dates remain open, June 11 and 25. Be advised that July has three special runs so only one date will be available when the hareline opens..

The July hareline will be opened on the first run in May. Have your run date ready. Preference given to those that have not hared recently.

We enjoy a well filled hareline thanks to the hashers who step forward to volunteer.

Most sincere thanks and On-on !

Mis-Management Meeting Report

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The Mis-management Committee next meets Wednesday, May 9th, 2018 at 4:00PM at Jameson's Irish Pub. All PH3 members are welcome to attend.

The February Minutes of the Mis-Management Committee are posted. Minutes from all meetings since Run 1500 can be viewed here.

A Mis-Management Committee Charter was passed at the April 2017 Meeting. It defines the responsibilities and authority of the Committee and its members.

We are reconstructing the minutes page so we will not be posting the minutes for a little while until that's finished. Thanks for your patience.

Veterans' Run Final Results

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The final numbers are in for the 2017 Veterans' Run. The 50 hashers who qualified received a free run on the day and a commemorative coffee mug. Another 27 hashers came within 10 runs of qualifying.

In 2016 46 hashers qualified to run free and received a PH3 beach towel.

Qualifying hashers who could not attend can collect their mug upon their return.

We are in the process of redesigning the Vets Run page so we will not be posting the countdown for a few weeks.



Upcoming Runs

Next PH3 Run 1782
The Grand Masters' Run
Monday, April 30th 2018

rainbow-foot-120.pngHares:  
Mental Disorder, Sperm Polluter, Absolutely Fucking Clueless and Professor Pinky
The GM's from all four Pattaya Hashes are going to show us how it's done? Really?? Hmmm...
Free sausage Barbecue sponsored by the PH3.
Location:  
Highway 331 - 2 km N of Soi Huai Yai
GPS:   12°54'4.69   101° 1'5.55
Download Google Earth .kmz file
On-On Bar:  I-Rovers

Run 1782 Map

A-Site Mis-Directions (for those with own transport)


From Soi Thep Prasit, follow Sukhumvit Road South for 6.0 km and turn left into Huay Yai Road. Continue 13.3 km to the end at Highway 331. Turn left and head North for 2 km to a dirt road on the left (HHH). Turn into this track and follow for 1.2 km to the HHH sign. The A-site is nearby.

Maps not to scale and distances are approximate.
Maps oriented with North at top unless otherwise specified.


Mis-Information (for all others)


Meet on 3rd Road in front of the Buffalo Bar close to Soi Lengke. We start gathering at 3:00PM and free buses to the A-Site depart as they are filled. Last bus departs 3:30PM sharp. Sign ups are at the A-Site. First circle starts at 4:30PM. Second circle ends between 7:30 and 8:00PM. Buses will return you pick-up point after stopping by the on-on bar at the end of the run.

Meeting Point Map

Meeting Point Map


Recent Runs

Latest PH3 Run 1781
St. George's Day Run
Monday, April 23rd 2018

Hares:
SFW, Lady Flipper, Phantom and Tampax
Map to Run 1781 A-Site
Scribe:   The Wizard
Hash Flash:   Beetroot Head and Gangreen
Runners:   81
On-On Bar:  Blue Heeler
GPS:   12°47'32.04   100°59'25.65
Download Google Earth .kmz fileHighway 331 – 3 km South of Phoenix Rd
st-george.pngHares:
SFW, Lady Flipper, Phantom and Tampax
Scribe:   The Wizard
Hash Flash:   Beetroot Head and Gangreen
Runners:   81
On-On Bar:  Blue Heeler
GPS:   12°47'32.04   100°59'25.65
Map to Run 1781 A-Site
Highway 331 – 3 km South of Phoenix Rd
Download Google Earth .kmz file

74 Run Photos This Week

Scribe Report
by The Wizard


The day began rather earlier than usual with an unsolicited message from SIR FREE WILLY letting me know that the A-site was dry and that he, LADY FLIPPER, TAMPAX and PHANTOM (the hares) were participating in a spot of nude sunbathing, the thought of which was almost enough for me to put my running shoes back into the cupboard and say bollocks to it. However in the true spirit of English stoicism I carried on preparing myself for the day ahead.

Thankfully Baht buses were at the Buffalo Bar waiting for us this week, but despite precise directions and maps on the website, and navigator, MENSTRUAL DISORDER, riding shotgun, our particular bus still managed to do a series of unnecessary U-turns, unsurprisingly ending up at a previous point on our travels. Worry not though, as the hour long journey was soon over, LADY FLIPPER and LOST CAUSE guiding vehicles into the A-site which was shaded and grassy, very pleasant indeed.

The hares had obviously gone to considerable effort to make the A-site a shrine to St George with flags and bunting all around. Interestingly there were several other items on display including a short history of St George, the history of Cockney Rhyming slang - in fact it had very much the feel of a junior classroom especially when you looked up and saw the shadowy shape of SFW directing operations. I'm not sure why one of the items on display was a newspaper article detailing a criminal enterprise from some years ago in which SFW was involved, it's really not something to be proud of, in my opinion.

However, the first circle was called and all the usual announcements were made; no new shoes were forthcoming although SEAL SUCKER was nominated for the third run in a row. Brief instructions from the hares were the final act before we set off. The trail itself was well laid and had several interesting checks, although the first half of it was mostly unshaded and the afternoon sun was particularly fierce, the heat taking its toll on runners and walkers alike. In consideration of this it was a thankfully short trail, just under 7 km, and on return the hares were busy serving snakebites (a mix of lager and cider, traditionally imbibed on the few hot days in England every year) to everyone.

Another nice touch from the hares, as was the abundance of fruit, crisps and chocolate bars - despite the fact that the chocolate was out of date, in fact so out of date that the actual date printed on the wrapper was in Roman numerals, but being a bunch of greedy freeloaders we all got stuck into them anyway.

The second circle got underway on time and as usual the hares were iced and forced to listen to everyone's views on the run, which were generally very positive, especially when consideration was given to a previous run hared by SFW, which he probably did from the comfort of his car until he got bored and stopped throwing paper from the window.

SFW conducted his weekly Raffle despite a rather boisterous circle (blame the snakebites) and MENTAL DISORDER, the GM, putting CRAPPER and SEAL SUCKER in the bucket for not paying attention (really like a classroom now) and no sooner had the GM released those two from the naughty step than BEETROOT HEAD and ARSE BANDIT were in the bucket for the same misdemeanour. The Raffle prize winners, well no one really cares who they are but it's worth noting that GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER picked up the large bottle of wine for the second week running.

MD retook the circle and iced all the Septics so that he could remind us of PSYCHO STRANGLER's altercation in the Immigration Office in Jomtien many months ago. A recurring story and a recurring theme to be honest.

EMPEROR AIRHEAD entertained us whilst the hares were cooling their backsides again, most memorably recounting yet another SFW run when everyone was expecting SFW to appear at the A-site on a white charger (where he was going to find a horse that strong is anybody's guess) but disappointment prevailed as SFW was a no show, but only because he had been incarcerated, as good as an excuse as you can get I'm sure.

NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, STUPID KRAUT KUNT, TURD BURGLAR and NOT SO STUPID KRAUT KUNT were all iced as EA continued his much appreciated time in the circle. Interestingly when EA asked for Englishmen to reveal themselves so he could ask about St George GKW raised his hand and told us an interesting but nonetheless bullshit story about St George inventing the Catherine wheel (you should not have cracked open that wine till you got home).

Two virgins were introduced to the circle, and it seemed they were having a good time which is nice to know. However this was short lived as EA handed the circle to THE WIZARD who called the virgins back in to establish why only one of them had bought a hash shirt. Colin from Canada, the offender, could offer no reasonable explanation and was presented with a deal; wear a spare hash shirt provided by TW or sit in the bucket. Not surprisingly and without much thought he elected to wear the shirt, which he was given, but not before the shirt was soaked in the icy water.

For some reason that passed me by, the hares wanted to do their song next rather than at the traditional juncture. SFW put all the Germans on the ice and then sang rather too many verses of a Noel Coward song that was popular in its day, mocking as it did, the Germans. It was a bit of an interlude in proceedings and allowed us all to regroup and get beers in.

MD then called SPERM POLLUTER to the bucket for behaviour witnessed on another hash and in some form of retribution called CANNONBALL to sit on SP which he did with great gusto (you must have been very naughty elsewhere SP), and as SP pretended to be having fun increased the payload on SP by getting SFW and another lightweight, GASMAN, to join in the party. I'm not sure how SP survived, or in fact how the bucket remained intact but everyone got out alive (we'll get a report on SP's internal organs later in the week - apparently his external organ was still fully functional).

As is the norm these days the awards was a bit of a mix up, WANK-KING'S WANKER was iced for previous fuck ups and ARSE BANDIT given belated congratulations on 50 sign ups - he used to be a runner but lapsed once and is now a full time fully paid member of the Beer Hunters. Where did it all go wrong mate?

SCAR W/2T'S called the patriotic SFW to the ice to enquire what is so great about being English, well it takes an Englishman to know, but SFW pointed out that everyone was speaking our language and that was just about good enough for SCAR. SP and GASMAN were back on the ice and to preserve the innocent we shall just say that SP can now be referred to as the Virgin Inspector, a role he fulfills with the aid of an extra strong flashlight. Enough said about that.

Next in were the Belgians (or Belgiums as they are often referred to by some) and the question asked why are there only 4 of them when not so long ago there was often a dozen or so.' Injuries' was the pc reply and no further cross examination followed. Touchy subject.

THE WIZARD then did his duty with the 'Wanker of the Week' ultimately passing it on from MD to PSYCHO STRANGLER who actually won the public vote but scurried off from the ice before time and was subsequently called back to take the award from MD.

Things were starting to draw to a close and it was time for SCAR and NO MORE CUM to take a seat. MD, with a tear in his eye started the goodbyes, as both of these fine RA's are departing Thailand for their summertime homes before the next hash. It was all getting a bit messy with MD extolling their every virtue, even NMC's noncy hair cut, but just when you think you're going to be sick from all the sycophantic arse licking reality kicks in as the circle take back control and sing "Fuck Off Ya Cunts" to see them off. Thank god for the power of the people. A voice from the crowd, unidentified as yet, was heard to say, "Thank fuck those 2 are going, now there will be enough ladyboys to go around." Identify yourself.......!

BEN 10 led the Hash Hymn in fine style and that was it, another great hash over. So we got into the cars and buses and headed off into the dark. On the bus home someone asked how did CANNONBALL get his name, like that is a question you need to ask, but apparently the truth is different to what you may expect. Allegedly he was adopted by a couple of circus workers. Part of the adoption process was an interview on the parents lifestyle and questions were asked about their nomadic way of life and how they could provide an education for a prospective child. Oh, we'll employ a full time teacher to tour with us to ensure a fully comprehensive education they said. And what about health care? Likewise, we'll employ a full time nurse and have a leading doctor on call. That's good, said the adoption agency rep, have you given any thought to whether you'd prefer a little girl or boy? No they said, we don't give a fuck as long as they fit in the cannon.

On-On!  The Wizard


Run Stats Report
Shows total runs with PH3

Total Runners This Week - 81

Hashers Present Last Week - 52

51 ARSE BANDIT; 645 BALL RINGER; 75 BEETROOT HEAD; 426 BELL END; 164 BEN 10; 22 CANNON BALL; 148 CRAPPER; 115 DEL BOY; 134 DIRT LOONEY; 230 DOG LICKS ITS DICK; 556 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 1439 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 677 G.I. JOE; 343 GANGREEN; 44 GAS MAN; 814 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 11 GERMAN KUNT KISSER; 32 GING GANG GOOLIES; 143 GOLDEN RIVET; 742 LADY FLIPPER; 391 LIBERACE; 174 LOST CAUSE; 222 MENTAL DISORDER; 788 MRS. HEAD; 21 NINJA PRINCESS; 237 NO MORE CUM; 19 NOISY QUEEN; 98 PHANTOM; 75 PINK DOLPHIN; 187 PINKABOO; 34 PISS ON IT; 129 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 281 REAR GUNNER; 281 SCAR W/2TS; 255 SEAL SUCKER; 33 SHE'S THE BOSS; 17 SILENT PRINCESS; 738 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 764 SIR FREE WILLY; 769 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 925 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 73 SLACK VAGINA; 55 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 239 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 461 TAMPAX; 19 THE COUNT; 88 THE WIZARD; 103 UNSTABLE LOAD; 388 VELCRO DICK; 858 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 379 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 57 WHORE IN THE WINDOW;

Returners - 20

84 BANANAS; 37 BLACK DIAMOND; 145 BURL IVES; 92 CASPER; 21 DIARRHEA; 345 DOESN'T TOUCH THE SIDES; 29 HAPPY SURVIVOR; 48 HOI WAN; 12 JUNGLE MOTHER; 73 MAYO QUEEN; 189 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 144 MISS USE ME; 232 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 10 NOT SO STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 32 PAROU PAROU; 117 SPERM POLLUTER; 480 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 89 TELLY TUBBY; 228 TURD BURGLAR; 238 TWO TIME;

Visitors - 7

2 Colin Connor - Bangkok Hash, Thailand
1 Sussaner Dokkhaowram - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 Pimnapat Thalong - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
10 Chopaka Tintan - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
19 SMOKEY'S NANNY Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
5 PSYCHO NEMO - Unknown Hash
9 PSYCHO STRANGLER - Unknown Hash

Virgins - 2

Richard Gollaffe; William Malthe;

Leavers - 2

NO MORE CUM; SCAR W/2TS;

Anniversaries - 0

~ none this week ~

Hash Name Events - 0

~ none this week ~

Saints and Sinners - 1

Wanker of the Week - PSYCHO STRANGLER

Birthdays - 0

~ none this week ~


Statistics

PH3 Hasher Run and Hare Totals


In recognition of the achievements of our loyal hashers, awards are given upon completion of benchmark run totals. The first benchmark is the completion of 50 runs. The hasher becomes a full member of the Pattaya Hash Harriers and receives a commemorative award giving details of his first run, 50th run and the dates.

Thereafter, upon completing 100 Runs (and at every multiple) the hasher is awarded a Survivor Shirt also containing his first run, the run of the anniversary and dates.

Upon completion of 500 runs, a Pattaya H3 hasher is awarded the honor of adding (or not) the title of Sir or Lady to their hash name. Even if the hasher decides not to use the title, the hasher is still a Sir and as such is entitled to all the prerogatives of the position including the right to sit during the circle activities. A chair with the hasher's name is awarded in acknowledgement.


28 PH3 Hashers each have 500 or more Runs
Runs ID# Name First Sex
1000+ Runs (2)
1419 2 EMPEROR AIRHEAD - Dragoo, Tom 29 M
1080 3 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER - McAllen, John 399 M
900+ Runs (1)
905 3089 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD - Emmert, Jim 708 M
800+ Runs (2)
881 12 KING YAO YAO - Guenther, John 203 M
835 5289 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR - Viking, Eric 776 M
700+ Runs (7)
789 6 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER - Sheal, Billy 105 M
768 655 MRS. HEAD - Emmert, Somreudee 729 F
763 41 SIR FESTER - Petersvik, Anton (R.I.P.) 508 M
744 5785 SIR FREE WILLY - Crook, Ray 825 M
744 6622 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD - Quinn, Jimmy 907 M
722 5852 LADY FLIPPER - Crook, Somchit 833 F
714 6505 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC - Moldenes, Tor 898 M
600+ Runs (6)
680 6083 SIR DOG - Lavik, Walter 855 M
656 23 SIR FROG - van den Berghe, Patrick 621 M
654 7705 G.I. JOE - Ruzicka, Joe 1022 M
650 6002 SIR ARSE HOPPER - Andersen, Jan Roger (R.I.P.) 849 M
626 8050 BALL RINGER - Carpenter, Alan 1061 M
603 1 SIR FOSSIL - Ngamsuwan, Susie 32 F
500+ Runs (10)
591 6971 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT - Kruger, Mike 947 M
589 5238 MASTER BATES - McAllen, James 767 M
588 64 SIR TERMINAL 4 SKIN - Betteridge, Ken (R.I.P.) 479 M
577 5343 SIR MC - Watkins, Josh 783 M
557 8 SIR SWEETBALLS - Weidner, Hans 57 M
556 4879 CLIT FACE - Lever, Geoff 715 M
553 492 SIR STAINS - O'Sullivan, Gary 499 M
537 45 DUCHESS TADPOLE - Impheng, Kaewta 635 F
527 7214 MIDNIGHT STAR - Andersen, Jessica 974 F
524 6661 LADY BOW WOW - Lavik, Pukeaw 912 F

Please advise webmaster of any errors in this table.


About the Statistics Section

We are still early days in the updating and automation of the PH3 website. For now this space is used to hold links to the Statistics currenty updated on a monthly basis by hand.

We display the 500+ Runs page contents here to give an idea of how this section might look when complete.

So what's the final plan?

The first step is to automate all statistics by incorporating our database into the site. At that point all statistics will be available as soon they are recorded. This means that total stats will be available as soon as the run stats are now.

We will also change the linking so that the pages will display right here in this section rather than loading the specific page as now.

And rather than displaying results for all runners since 1984 we will show stats only for those who have run in the last 5 years. Of course the complete tables will be published but they will be on separate pages from here. Remember over 600 hashers have 50 or more runs so the tables are quite large.


General Info

PH3 General Info Section


The General Info Section provides access to pages about On-0n Bars, local friends, Hash Songs, Old Shirts, and some tools and info about hashing with PH3.

From here you can access the pages in the link box on the left. After viewing a link, click the link at the top of that page and you will return here to this section of the home page.

BLAH BLAH Rules for hares and anythng doesn't fit elsewhere.


TOP SPACE

This is the General Info Section of the Home Page
it will contain links to onon bars, local hashes, The FAQ pages (rewritten), Hash Songs,
Shirt Designs, Rules for hares and anythng doesn't fit elsewhere

END OF TOP SPACE

The General Info Section provides access to pages about On-0n Bars, local friends, Hash Songs, Old Shirts, and some tools and info about hashing with PH3.

From here you can access the pages in the link box below. After viewing a link, click the link at the top of that page and you will return here to this section of the home page.

TODO LIST

For now a simple landing page with the same links as the box below

Future - open the links below in the General Info TOP SPACE or a second space in this section.


About the General Info Section

The General Info Section provides access to pages about On-0n Bars, local friends, Hash Songs, Old Shirts, and some tools and info about hashing with PH3.

We display SOMETHING page contents here to give an idea of how this section might look when complete.

For now a simple landing page links in the box on the left. After viewing a link, click the link at the top of that page and you will return here to this section of the Home Page.

Future plans for this section

We will also change the linking so that the pages will display right here in this section rather than loading the specific page as now.

We are envisioning a complete rewrite of the existing materials.


Archives

PH3 Archives Section


The Archives Section contains all records for the years 2012 through 2017. It also contains a link to Clitface's previous website covering the years 2008 to 2012 (up to run 1499).

From here you can access the pages in the link box on the side that will bring you to a separate page for the year of interest. Clicking "Archives" from the top menu (green hamburger for mobile) anywhere on the website will return you to this section of the Home Page.


TOP SPACE

The Archive Section of the Home Page
it will contain tables with all the statistics for previous years (since 2013 for now).
We will also link to Clitface's old site. We may in future extract all that data 
and incorporate into this to maintain uniformity of all records and
to keep that data in latest format consistent with current software.

END OF TOP SPACE

The Archives Section contains all records for the years 2012 through 2016. It also contains a link to Clitface's previous website covering the years 2008 to 2012 (up to run 1499).

From here you can access the pages in the link box below bringing you to a separate page for the year of interest. Clicking "Archives" from the floating menu anywhere on the website will return you to this section of the home page.

TODO LIST

Future - open the links below in the TOP SPACE or a second space in this section.


About the Archives Section

We are still early days in the updating and automation of the PH3 website. For now this space is used to hold links to the Archives currenty updated on a yearly basis by hand.

Future plans for this section

We will also change the linking so that the pages will display right here in this section rather than loading the specific page as now.

We display SOMETHING here to give an idea of how this section might look when complete.


Contact Us

PH3 Contact Us Info Section


The Contact Us Section provides information about the Mis-management and contains links to all minutes of Meeting since 2012. Later we will gather the minutes of previous years as much as they are available.

We will post the minutes of the most recent meeting each month. The date and timing of the next meeing is contained in the Welcome Section of this page. Just scroll up by clicking the green box with the triangle and you'll be there.; $top_html .=

We provide contact details for the GM, Hare-Raiser and webmaster. A number of links to other information is provided in the sidebar.


This is a page with some basic contact information, such as an address and phone number.

Contact us if you have a query, want to contribute to the site, or just want to say "Hello!". We will get back to you as soon as possible.

Sorry, the contact form has been temporary disabled, but we'll get it back online after reconstruction.

In the meantime please use the following contact details:

Contact the Grand Master, Mental Disorder
Email - GM@pattayah3.com
Tel -- 089 095 7306

Contact the Web Master, Wank-King's Wanker
E-mail - webmaster@pattayah3.com
Tel -- 09 71 370 313

Contact the Hare Raiser, Sir Free Willy
E-mail - hareraiser@pattayah3.com
Tel -- 086 078 5681


About the Contact Us Section

We are still early days in the updating and automation of the PH3 website. The Statistics, General Info, Archives and this section are among the last to be worked on. Those topics although important have less immediacy than recent and upcoming run events.

Future plans for this section

We will also change the linking so some pages will display right here in this section rather than loading the specific page as now.

We display SOMETHING here to give an idea of how this section might look when complete.