Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1518 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by B.B.


MONDAY AFTERNOON IN PATTAYA, AND WHAT DO YOU DO? GO DRINKING IN A BAR OR GO HASHING WITH YOUR FRIENDS? THERE IS NO CHOICE BECAUSE AS THE SONG GOES “ MONDAY IS A HASHING DAY”

IT WAS A SHORT BUS RIDE TO A PLEASANT, PRIVATE AND SHADY A SITE. LOOKING AROUND I DIDN’T SEE TOO MANY HILLS SO THOUGHT GREAT A NICE EASY RUN.

WALKING OVER TO THE BEER TRUCK TO GRAB A WATER I SEE PICTURES OF THE “NEW LOOK” INFAMOUS ‘SIR FREE WILLY” MATE I FELT SORRY FOR YOU STANDING THERE IN THE SNOW, BUT IT WAS A REMINDER TO ME WHY I LEFT CHRISTCHURCH ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. LOOK FORWARD TO HAVING A BEER WITH YOU MATE ON YOUR RETURN.

OUR GM SCAR CALLS A START TO THE RUN CIRCLE AND INVITES OUT VIRGINS, THERE WAS ONE LADY FROM THE PHILLIPINES A SECOND VV, A VIVIAN VIACROSIS. SHE WAS WELCOMED ALONG AND TOLD THAT THE PATTAYA MONDAYS HAS WAS NOW HER MOTHER HASH. NOT A BAD PLACE TO START A HASHING CAREER. THEN WE HAD NEW SHOES AND AS THE HARRIET WAS ALSO WEARING NEW SOCKS HER BOYFRIEND run1518 (038) BEETROOT HEAD WAS GIVEN A TEABAG. GREAT TO SEE TRADITIONS HELD UP BY OUR GM. THE HARES THEN TALK TO US ABOUT THE RUN, AND TELL US WALKERS TO HANG AROUND A WHILE. OFF GO THE FIT B*******S, AND US INJURED OLD BUGGAS HANG AROUND AND ARE TOLD IT’S A NICE SHORT WALK, GOOD ON YA VV, IT WAS WHAT I NEEDE AFTER SUNDAYS EFFORT.

WE ARE SITTING BACK AT THE BEER TRUCK WITHIN 30 MINUTES AND ARE WAITING WITH TONGUE'S HANGING FOR THE FIRST RUNNER TO COME IN. WE SEE THE DUST CLOUD IN THE DISTANCE WHICH HAS BEEN RAISED BY THE FIRST 4 FRONT RUNNERS TRYING TO BEAT EACH OTHER IN. VASALINE THIGHS COMES SPRINTING IN AND TELLS ME THAT IT WAS A 8.8 KLM RUN AND HE WAS OUT FOR 58 MINUTES. I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS HAHA. TAMPAX TOLD ME THAT HE WAS CECKING THE LAST CHECK FOR 20 MINUTES OR HE WOULD HAVE BEEN THE FRB. BORDERLINE HAD A HASH CRASH 20 METERS FROM THE BEER TRUCK TRYING TO SPRINT IN TO OVERTAKE VASALINE THIGHS. BORDERLINE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ICED FOR TRYING TO BE AN OVERACHIEVER, NEXT TIME WE WILL GET HIM. BELIEVE HORSE AND RUNNING BEAR WHERE ALSO HASH CRASHES.

AFTER A COUPLE OF REFRESHMENTS AND BURGERS OUT OF VV’S KITCHEN, WELL DONE MATE, OUR GM CALLS THE CIRLCE TO ORDER. HARES ARE ICED AND THE RAFFLE IS DRAWN, STUPID KRAUT KUNT WINS THE FIRST DRAW SO TAKES THE BIGGEST PRIZE, OUR GM WINS AND TAKES THE VODKA, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE WIN A SECOND PRIZE AND WHEN MY TICKET IS DRAWN I GET TO PICK ONE OF THE TWO HARRIER BOOKS THAT ARE THERE. GOOD READING FOR THE NEXT MORNING WHILST I AM HAVING MY MORNING DUMP.

EMPEROR AIRHEAD THEN HAS THE CIRCLE AND ICES THE HARES AND ASKED OUR THOUGHTS ON THE RUN. EVERYONE WHO DONE THE RUN AGREED THAT IT WAS A WELL SET RUN, PLENTY OF PAPER, GOOD CHECKS, THORNS, HILLS AND BUSH, SO WELL DONE GUYS. SIR MC IS CALLED OUT AND A STORY IS TOLD ABOUT HIM OF WHEN HE HAD A BIT OF HAIR AND USED TO GO TO THE HAIRDRESSER TO GET IT COLOURED, THEN ABOUT COLOURING IT HIMSELF WITH A 47 BAHT DYE THAT LEFT A RING AROUND HIS BALD SPOT. ANOTHER STORY OF HOW MC LIKES BEES IS TOLD, AND HE HAS BEEN PROMISED BEE PROTECTION FOR NEXT WEEKS RUN. VIRGINS ARE CALLED IN AND WELCOMED AGAIN. BEER PLOICE ARE ICED BUT NOT SURE FOR WHAT BUT GOOD TO SEE ANYWAY. ANDERS IS CALLED IN FOR A NAMING. WE ARE TOLD A BIT ABOUT HOW ANDERS HELPS OUT WITH THE TOURIST POLICE, AND HOW HE KEEPS PARROTS, THIS IS ALL TO HELP US ASSIST AIRHEAD WITH A NAMING, SOME GOOD NAMES ARE THROWN FORWARD BUT THE LAST ONE CALLED OUT BY LONEWOLF IS THE BEST. ANDERS IS NOW KNOWN AS BIRD FLU, SO WELCOME TO THE HASH BIRD FLU.

WANK KING'S WANKER TURN IN THE CIRCLE AND HE PRESENT THE AWARDS, VV 110 HARES, TAMPAX 300 RUNS, FLYING FIN 100 RUNS, BLACKHOLE 100 RUNS, WELL DONE HASHERS AND WELL run1518-(182)DONE VV. VISITORS CALLED IN AND ONE OF THEM ARMPIT GIVES US ALL A WELCOME SONG. THEN LEAVERS ARE CALLED AND STUPID KRAUT IS ON THE ICE EXPLAINING THAT HE CANT BE A LEAVER AS HE IS NEXT MONDAYS HARE.

WANKING YOU SHOULD HAVE ICED WENDY FOR PASSING ON THE WRONG INFORMATION TO YOU, MAYBE NEXT TIME. RETURNERS ARE CALLED AND ITS GOOD TO SEE THE SCRUMPY FAMILY AGAIN. AS SCRIBE IT WAS MY TURN TO TAKE THE CIRCLE AND HAVE ICE POWER, GREAT JOB THIS SCRIBBING, REMEMBER IF YOU WANT ICE REVENGE THEN VOLUNTEER TO SCRIBE. ANYWAY NEXT WEEKS SCRIBE IS SEXY BUM SO WATCH OUT GUYS WHEN SHE GETS ICE POWER.

OUR GM HAS THE CIRCLE AGAIN AND FLYING FIN IS OUT THERE SHOWING OFF HIS NEW HAIRCUT AND SAYING HOW THE GIRLS NOW CALL HIM YOUNG SEXY MAN AGAIN. LOOK WHAT 80 BAHT CAN DO FOR YOU IN PATTAYA. A STORY IS TOLD OF ARMPIT A VISITING GM STAYING IN BOYS TOWN, HE RECKONS HE STAYS THERE BECAUSE THE ROOMS ARE CHEAP. ROBIN BARSTARD IS ICED FOR HAVING A SEXY BUM, PUSSY WHIPPED GOES ON THE ICE FOR TAKING PICTURES OF ROBIN BARSTARDS REAR END, AND THEN SLIPS OFF THE ICE.

SEXY BUM TELLS US ALL THAT HE SLIPPED OFF BECAUSE HE PUTS BODY LOTION ON HIS ARSE, SO I AM THEN STARTING TO THINK THAT MAYBE THEY ALL STAY IN BOYS TOWN. PUSSY WHIPPED IS ICED AGAIN BUT THIS TIME HE GETS A SANDWHICH AND A SCORE OF 9 FOR HIS ICE DISMOUNT. WANK KING'S WANKER GETS THE TREATMENT FOR BEING HASH CRASH AT THE SCANDIHOOLIGAN BAR CRAWL ON SATURDAY, STORY IS HE WAS THAT DRUNK AND FELL OVER AND SLEPT IN THE STREET 50 METERS AWAY FROM HIS HOME. WHEN ASKED DID HE WAKE UP WITH A CONDOM UP HIS BUM HIS ANSWER WAS NO COMMENT.

COMES THE TIME OF THE NIGHT FOR THE HARE SONG SO I SING SOMETHING ABOUT SUNSTROKE, SYHPILIS AND VARICOSE VIENS. THEN 3 MORE DOWN DOWNS ARE GIVEN AWAY AND THEY LEAD US INTO THE HASH HYMN.

WHAT CAN I SAY, ANOTHER BLOODY GOOD DAY OF HASHING IN PATTAYA, WELL DONE HARES, WELL DONE YOU GUYS IN THE CIRCLE FOR GIVING US SOME LAUGHS.

On-On!  B.B.


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