Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1531 Scribe

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Hash Run 1531. At the Buffalo Bar pick-up point regular Pattaya and Pan-Asia Hashers boarded the Black Pearl as well as other transportation for departure at 3:00PM to the a-site. The early departure from the Buffalo Bar successfully provided the extra time needed at the signup table for the visiting P-A Hashers including photos by Pussy Whipped, while Karamba dispensed yellow PH3 wristbands. For those that provided their own transportation the directions given were easily understood. A great start to another Monday Hash in Pattaya.

GM Wan-King’s Wanker called a circle noting 117 runners signed up for P3H run 1531 and welcomed the visiting P-A Hashers highlighting Friday’s Red Dress Run and Dinner by the Thai Tourist Authority as the gem of the challenging Pan Asia weekend event. Karamba put on ice as returnee. New shoes were identified and broken-in with beer-in-shoe down-down and Karamba released to circle. Hellboy called in to explain on-on bar Titty-Twister transportation and get a count. Hares VV & Tampax called in to give run and walk instructions. Runners were released and walkers asked remain for further instructions.

The walkers group splintered in disagreement on the road as to where the pavement ended and the dirt began. Although the group I traveled with continued beyond the first dirt trail, further down the pavement past a very blue building it became clear we might have missed the turn. Not to ruin a good walk we spotted Wat Samakkhi Pracharam in the distance and proceeded to the sight of the remarkable crematorium where my old friend Jokin’ Joe Otter, Fuck & Forget was released to his next assignment. A religious experience for sure. RIP Joe. On the return to the a-site we merged with the rest of the walkers and as I recall the “Temple Gang” were all smiles in contrast the other walkers. Sometimes even a wrong turn can be an uplifting experience.

On our return to the a-site the runners were arriving and refreshing beverages were released to all. VV’swith his alfresco restaurantgrilled up delicious Brätwurst sandwiches with all the trimmings. An excellent choice.

After drink, food and socializing GM Wan-King’s Wanker calls the circle and puts Hares VV, and Tampax on the ice designating them “Premier Hares” with 150+ Monday Hash Runs each thus receiving a cheer, beer and note from the circle.

Our GM introduces the brew-master Sir Bottomless Pit for the raffle. The drawing proceeds and the lucky winners are given beer and a note along with their prizes. GM Wan-King’s Wanker passes the circle to RA emperor Airhead who calls Hares VV & Tampax to the ice and welcomes the Pan-Asia visitors. LIBERACE called to the circle and thanked along with SPAG for manning the PH3 signup table at the hotel during the Pan-Asia event. HELLBOY & Sir Bottomless Pit thanked for logistics for today’s run. The Hares are given a note.

Emperor Airhead passes the circle to SCREWDRIVER, former GM of the Hamersley Hash of Perth. SIR SCREWDRIVER described the weekend event as being a “thing” or debacle commiserating with the participants and follows with the Doodah song.

SCREWDRIVER then called sinner ASS-HOLIO to the ice as it is explained he masquerades as a Hamersley Hasher although PH3 is his mother hash where he is also know as NEVEL BUTTFUCKER. He then reveals official transfer papers notarized today by the Mayor of Pattaya and signed by Hamersley’s GMfor “no return” to Hamersley.

Emperor Airhead calls a note for Hamersley then calls the very important HELLBOY to the ice and explains his mission to supply transportation from on-on bar Titty-Twister to those that need a ride back to today’s pickup point. Also hejust celebrated his 40th B-Day and in his honor a cake with candles burning is presented by the delightful Abigail aka CABBAGE PRINCESS to the young HELLBOY for a wish-and-blow as the circle sings a rousing rendition of the

Birthday song followed by a note. LONE WOOLF called to the ice with his virgin Wan, a librarian for God’s sake, and given a note.

GM Wan-King’s Wanker honors both CABBAGE FLAP and SEAL SUCKER for their 150th Monday Hash Runs. MENTAL DISORDER called to the ice in honor of Haring 10 runs just since last September and given a 10-Hare Hat and a note.

The bad RA HELLBOY takes the circle and calls Wan-King’s Wanker, MISSERABLE CUNT & Karamba to the ice for their Pan-Asia contributions followed by a note.

 HELLBOY then struts around like Mussolini and calls Hamersley’s SCREWDRIVER to the ice where he is admonished for returning ASS-HOLIO aka NEVEL BUTTFUCKER to Pattaya. SCREWDRIVER responds with “he’s like a bad smell you cannot get rid of”. HELLBOY calls the rest ofHamersley to the ice and ASS-HOLIO aka NEVEL BUTTFUCKER to the bucket. A note is given for the Wankers from Hamersley. Next the Legos women are called to the ice where the hard-not-to-be-bad HELLBOY offers to show his balls if the Nigerian women would bare their chests for the boys; they politely declined his invitation and given a note.

HELLBOY returns circle to GM Wan-King’s Wanker whocalls the Legos RA into the circle who swiftly puts HELLBOY on ice and one of the Legos women lead the circle to join in the “I Come from Legos” song. Next the Legos RA fills the ice starting with the scribe and leads the circle with a note and another sing-a-long. The ice is cleared then the bucket filled with the “trail fuckers” and adding Tampax before leading the circle in another Hash song YA-HO, YA-HO.

GM Wan-King’s Wanker gives the circle to the legendary Noriega of Southeast Asia who enters the circle wearing a sarong. After receiving a warm welcome from the circle he calls for all Malaya hashers to the ice where the discussion starts with roti followed by banter with the Malays. Moving along, Noriega hints he wants to show his body tonight, which he has been selling here in Pattaya and Hong Kong for many years now. ASS-HOLIO is called to the bucket. Noriega leads the circle in the “Yankee Pays $5 More” song. Noriega now asked all the men to leave the ice and calls all remaining women to the ice. Once the women are gathered on the ice Noriega drops the sarong and exposes himself much to the surprise of the women-on-ice and the rest of the circle. Muting the visual impact of this display, his genitals were garbed in an elephant costume which I believe brought much relieve to the ladies. The ladies and Noriega are then given a note. By this time it is raining, it’s getting late and GM Wan-King’s Wanker leads the circle in the Hash Hymn to conclude this memorable Monday Hash.

On-On!  Linear Accelerator

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