Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1551 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Kee Mah

Well, another SIR FREE WILLY typical run, or as EMPEROR AIRHEAD says, “deja vu all over again”. Lovely A site, up high with a tremendous view of the Jomtien skyline especially at sunset, only problem was we weren't there to see it, we were all friggin lost in the friggin jungle! This site apparently had been used in some Kung Foo movie so look for it next time you're in Hong Kong. Welcome back QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE, POOPACHINO, and MARATHON MAN, good to see youse guys again.

It rained before the run, quite a downpour and then SIR FREE WILLY went out supposedly to lay paper as if it was a 'Live Hare Run' but funny thing was (as our clairvoyant SIR MC predicted) all the paper was wet. We didn't head out till after 5pm, leaving, surprise surprise, only 1 hour till sunset and complete darkness. A really good run I thought from what I saw of it though. I was with the old-timers, fat guys and cripples at the end of the pack when we saw the remains of a sign that WILLY had told us about with only the letters WA visible, the rain having washed away everything else. Somebody says oh it's the WALKERS trail so off we go only to find out back at the circle it was a false trail with the word WATERFALL written there.

Oh well, so there we are wandering around for an hour, confused, lost again, it's dark, the stars are out, when we hear On-On and there are the FRB's coming behind us who actually seemed to know where they were. There is a Buddha after all. Having said that, though, I enjoyed the run, cool after the rain, there were a few hills, lots of shade, and lots of typical scenery.

Some others not so lucky and are probably still wandering around out there. Search parties were sent out with flashlights, our heroes being MUDCRACKER, CABBAGE HEAD and RUNNING BARE and even EMPEROR AIRHEAD . Almost everyone was found, similar to Free Willy's last hare at this location five years ago when those same heroes plus KARAMBA were sent out to find four children hopelessly lost in the dark. I don't think we even had a circle that night.

Vodka, caviar, fruit, chocolates, chips provided by the hares for all the runners who made it back on their own but for all the lost ones, nada.

SIR FREE WILLY was iced numerous times by everyone with ice power and given Hash Shit by the GM, SCAR WITH 2T's. SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD and GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER were iced by EMPEROR AIRHEAD for barhopping during a really serious Hash Run.

Welcome to SHIT ON MY FACE (referring to his mustache apparently) from the Samurai Hash in Japan, iced for being a baseball player and carrying a big bat, which the Aussie girl, Sonny, standing next to me remarked on when he dropped his shorts and sat on the ice.

Also, welcome back to LORD CHICKEN FUCKER who treated us to his usual ramblings and had us all laughing. I didn't know this but microwaves apparently are quite the treat for small babies but only for 30 seconds or so at a time, because it makes them dizzy. BALL RINGER and BELL END, who were just married this week (congratulations) were made aware of this information by LORD CF to be used on their 4 month old future Hasher, Benjamin. Sometimes those vasectomies don't work out I guess.

Anybody who has hashed in the Philippines knows the Aussie, ARMPIT, and the singular way that he talks and acts, well we seem to be developing our own version of ARMPIT in GOLDFINGER from New Zealand who was iced for no hash Tee shirt, being obnoxious, and slurring his words in a strange language, JUST LIKE ARMPIT. Uncanny.

Our Hash Flash, HONEY BEAR, who is doing a tremendous job in that assignment was iced for being Filipino because her hero, boxer Manny Pacquio had just kicked the crap out of some contender. Always nice to see her on the ice. I think she got a photo of a rainbow during the run so hope it turns out.

A final word for Toy from the TQ who came for her first hash run, got lost, and is still out in the jungle. Don't worry, your boyfriend WHY SO SMALL will pay you double bar fine.


On-On!  Kee Mah

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