Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1603 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Pole Fucker


This report is from the perspective of the BCBs (Back Crawling Bastards) because that is where I usually am together with a select few other hashers.

The usual pre run circle took place in which 2 unsuspecting virgins (from Belgium and Australia) were introduced and the new shoes owner SHIT ON MY FACE being rewarded with a beer (which for the first time in weeks was correctly drunk from his shoe and NOT from a can within a new shoe).

This was followed by LIBERACE in his recent Lord Kitchener role indicating 'Your Hash Needs You' (and new hash 'blood') - 'recruitment' flyers available to anyone who is able to display on a suitable notice board.

The run itself was described by fellow hashers as 'excellent' 'wonderful' 'exciting' and 'tricky'
It had something to cater for everyone's likes and dislikes.  The trail was 7-8 kms and in the main was through tapioca fields and few local homesteads.

The tricky bits of the run came towards the end when most hashers thought that they were 'home and dry' and some steep ravines and river crossing were encountered forcing the infirm and those with short legs to get their feet wet.

The trail was in the main really well marked with most checks being clearly kicked through for the BCBs.  Having said that a search party was sent out to round up the BCBs who got back in the dark and only just in time for the circle (good way to avoid buying raffle tickets!!!)

The run was the same from runners and walkers and from a personal view point I would give it 9.2/10.

The GM managed the circle really well with it lasting just over an hour and with EMPEROR AIRHEAD again excelling with his wit (admitting he once lived with a woman ...... wished he was heterosexual .... and hoped the other guy liked it more than he did).

SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT managed the raffle, the star win being a bottle of whisky (sponsored by G.I JOE).  LADY FLIPPER opened the raffle draw.

The most novel win was by EMPEROR AIRHEAD who very carefully chose a 'made in Çhina' folding chair definitely build for those with a slightly smaller stature (I really hope someone has a camera at hand when it collapses). Buddha knows who won the DVDs and who cares??

The GM thanked the hares GI JOE and SQUEEZE MY TUBE.

Enter EMPEROR AIRHEAD - Hares were once again thanked again in the customary icing ritual.

NO MORE CUM and COO COO COP (clad in a very sexy thong) were then iced.

This was followed by a 'naming ceremony - Enter the circle Paul Skinner, exit the circle STOOL MOVER. We all learned STOOL MOVER once dreamt of being a football player or submarine driver but eventually found his true vocation of being an interior decorator.

STOOL MOVER recommends hanging out in hospital emergency wards to pick up girls.  EMPEROR AIRHEAD speculated that the first time his girlfriend saw STOOL MOVER’S penis she thought it was wart and stuck a hypodermic needle in it!!!

Virgins were again invited into the circle and iced (Walter from Belgium) and an Aussie (who lied to LIBERACE on sign up.... how can a virgin have a hash name????)

The Beer Hunters were thanked for finding a bar serving ice cold Leos within a 7 minute stroll from the A Point). A feat that they manage to achieve on a pretty regular basis.

The GM re-enters the circle - Special events were recognised:  VASELINE THIGHS was presented with 50 run pewter mug. SQUEEZE MY TUBE was thanked.  She has now hared 5 times (and it was agreed by all that her performance has got better each time).

LONE WOLF was iced for being a birthday boy!

SUZY QUATTRO was iced and presented with pay cheque and 2 Bar Fines from TQ by EMPEROR AIRHEAD (earned during the EMPORER’S birthday party).

GM then hands over the Circle to SHIT ON MY FACE (visitor from Tokyo and Samurai Hash). VAGINA CAKE and MARATHON MAN were iced (I think for being Aussies!!) BLADDER BLOW and SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD iced for event at a softball tournament (what has it really got do with hashing??) The FLYING FINN was iced (allegedly he finished a bottle of JB whilst setting a run for another local hash (men only)),

GM re-enters the circle - Diaper wearers on 'Facebook' were iced

GM hands over the circle to NO MORE CUM - PAPRIKA SMILEY, KARAMBA and LUMP iced (misdemeanor’s too lengthy to note by a scribe who cannot do short hand)

GM re-enters the circle - BALL RINGER iced

The hares were invited to sing us a song.....  and a melodic rendition of Bye Bye Blackbird was given

Last down-down given to the 'returners'

Bar closed, Hash Hymn

On-On!  Pole Fucker


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