Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1604 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Suzy Wong


Do you know, why the Sukhumvit Rd. has so many deep potholes (actually, you can try also Thrappaya Rd.; coming from Jomtien, watch out for the deep slit in the road at the traffic light on top of the hill)? Or new housings in Thailand sometimes collapse? It’s because of the way subcontracting in Thailand works!

Let’s assume you’re the owner of a big road construction company in Thailand and you’ve got the contract for the reconstruction of a particular stretch of Sukhumvit Rd. Instead of doing that job with your own employees, you simply find another company, who’s willing to do the job for 20% less. You put 20% in your pocket (o.k., maybe you have to put some of the money in the pocket of the guy who ensures that nobody else but you got the contract) and enjoy some bottles of Lao Khao together with your mates instead of organizing the labour.

So far, so good. BUT, the owner of contracted company does exactly the same! And so on, and so on… In the end, the one who’s really doing the job doesn’t even have enough money to do the job properly. Since I’m living here for a few years already, I’ve tried to do this weeks scribe a little bit Thai-style: I’ve got the contract a week before from SIR FREE WILLY (sorry, no tea money for you at all) and – to make life easier for me - I’ve contracted my beloved and admirable wife SUZY WONG. So let’s read what she made out of it!

Here comes her part:

There’s nothing that ladies can’t do as well as men. In particular, this includes writing. So this week it’s me, SUZY WONG, writing the scribe. Once I’ve been called SHE-HULK, today I sometimes get confused with SUZIE QUATRO.

Some hashers were probably very happy with the run’s A-Site. First of all the beer hunters, since there are lots of beer bars around lake Mabprachan. Others who might be very happy are those guys hating mountains, tapioka fields, running through creeks and/or long rides to remote A-Sites. Somewhat surprising to me was the way the hares made the journey so complicated... well, anyway… It’s getting harder and harder to find nice A-Sites, but that’s nothing new for those who sometimes hare a run.

I would like to mention the nice gesture from PAPRIKA SMILEY who provided the community with real Scotch Whiskey after the run... Thank you for that !!

After calling the 2nd circle, our GM SCAR W/ 2 T'S puts the Hares on the ice, as usual. This weeks Hares NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER und LINEAR ACCELERATOR prepared a 7,2 kms run, but an easy matter: no hills, no rivers to cross, no tapioca fields, even no snakes at all. Since the Pattaya Monday Hash is for all kind of runners, also in this case plenty of guys called it a “good run”.

As usual, the Raffle time follows. Outstandingly brought to us by the one and only SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT, the best, the really best brewmaster in the world, no, in the whole universe! Amongst other donations, there was a coffee enema kit donated by NO MORE CUM. Not sure if somebody else noticed his healthy complexion? So probably he’s taking coffee enemas himself on a regularly basis.

Raffle winners were SHEIK MEME, ELROYS SMACK???, NO MORE CUM, LINEAR ACCELERATOR, GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, SUGAR DADDY, CASPER, RUDI VOELLER, COO COO COP. Congratulations! Unfortunately I didn’t figure out, who took the tanga. Everybody I’ve watched sweared the size was to small for him. Well, he seems to fit one…

EMPEROR AIRHEAD took the circle and asked the hares, why they only put two HHH signs on the way. Simple answer by the hares: “Well, there were only two on the map.”. Pretty logical, isn’t it? Asking the circle about the run, PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER was so impressed that he called it “the best run of the year”! Mmh...maybe in 2014 he only attended solely this run?

Next on the ice was BALL RINGER, who was honored for his long and outstanding services for the hash with a beautiful trophy (couldn’t understand, why there wasn’t a golden cock on the top of the trophy?).

EMPEROR AIRHEAD put ODD-JOB and Ole from Denmark on the ice. Obviously impressed he asked Ole about his around 1.000 parachute jumps. Looking forward to get your hash name soon, Ole!

WANG-KING'S WANKER iced SPERM POLLUTER, DEL BOY, VELCRO DICK and DOESN'T TOUCH THE SIDES. Not because there was something to report about these guys, only because they are constantly twaddling. Shut the f… up in the circle, guys! NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER and LINEAR ACCELERATOR were honored for 5 hares and ODD-JOB for 350 runs. Congrats!

GM SCAR W/2 T’S took the circle again and iced NA HEE MAN for annoying tittle-tattle the whole time on the baht bus (thanks to Buddha, we’re using our own transportation). Gabbling was apparently very trendy this week: Another two sinners get known to the ice for that, SHIT MY SHIRT and Alain. Alain (whoever this bloke is) didn’t seem to be too impressed by that. Despite sitting on the ice, he continues to chew the rag. Even when the GM ordered him to sit in the bucket, he denied. At least in the beginning…

SHEIK MEME took the circle and with his unique, distinctive style he forced Alain the second time to experience the cold broth of the bucket.

Just a little comment from my side: Please note, on this Monday there were only male hashers suffering punishment for blathering... NOT EVEN ONE WOMAN! And – cause one might take it for a reason – there were a few of us.

SHEIK MEME puts SIR MC on the ice, simply because it‘s not a decent Monday without icing SIR MC. He was joined by SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT, SPANKINSTEIN, RUDI VOELLER and even myself. However, I have not the faintest idea why, because I didn’t understand a word.

NO MORE CUM took the circle and iced SIR MC, LONE WOLF, SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT, LINEAR ACCELERATOR and puts SIR FREE WILLY in the bucket. Why? I’ve forgotten ‘bout that.

This time, the Hares Song was an event, presented by the newly formed hash band “The Bunglers”. Members are LINEAR ACCELERATOR, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, TAMPAX and HONEY BEAR. Probably LIBERACE contracted them already, so for any booking you have to contact him or the Mis-Management.

Last Down Downs were distributed amongst the returners and they lead us into the Hash Hymn. That was a Monday Hash I really like: not too long, not too short… Just right!

On-On!  Suzy Wong


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