Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1684 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Rear Gunner


Philippine Independence Day Run Hared by MENSTRUAL DISORDER and POCKET SOCKET with the two Hares looking fabulous in banana yellow hash dresses. B1 & B2.

Circled up, one Virgin and a couple of Visitors welcomed but without beer WTF! Shredded paper all on the ground and local farmer advised Hares that there were a lot of cobras about.

Run starts with about 1 km of sandy uphill track and the sand was pretty much the theme of the day with a few long back checks apparently, not that I saw any of them as RUNNING BARE and GI JOE just got there before me.

Very good run for me and Hares only lost a couple of runners, the Virgin was one. His buddy from Belgium couldn’t give a fuck so MENTAL DISORDER went around the circle and we all learned how to say “Fuck You” in German, Russian, French, Irish, Vestfalien, TADPOLE wasn’t sure what it was in Thai but some of the other Thai ladies knew and most of the Farang men know what it is because we hear it quite a bit when we go out and in Kiwi it’s “Fuck Ewe”.

MENTAL DISORDER buckets EMPEROR AIRHEAD because he said GI JOE suggested it. Brave man when we all know AIRHEAD never forgives and he never forgets!

RA EMPEROR AIRHEAD take the circle and immediately ices GI JOE in retaliation for suggesting the bucket for AIRHEAD. Next on the ice are the Hares and thanked for a great run and free food.

Raffle winners were me and a few others I can’t remember.

AIRHEAD then gave the crowd including the Filipinos a history lesson, the Philippines gained independence from Spain because the Americans are still there.

One of the Belgium guys who was lost Alexander Van Hulst was going to be named but this was postponed due to his absence although GANGREEN came up with a cracker of a name that he could be proud of “Ass Von Hole”, how could you not like that?

GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER in to celebrate 30 years to the day of PH3, congratulations your kidneys must be fucked by now.

The band was next and after 2 hours of setting up Beibes (LINEAR ACCELERATOR) and Brittney (TAMPAX) played for 60 seconds WTF? LIBERACE offered to manage the band but only if they learned more than 1 song.

WANK-KING'S WANKER circles up and gives the MENTAL family a trophy for all their hard work for the PH3. MENSTRUAL thanked for 30 hares although only MENTAL would know for sure if she’s got any.

Bahrain visitors iced and CROTCH THUMPER sang a romantic song about anal sex, just thinking about that brings tears to my eyes. Thai lady in to get named, she said she like other ladies and for some reason she liked the name VIOS maybe because it’s small and hard to get into. We did hear other suggested names Lickalike, Slurpee, Oyster Opener but she didn’t respond to these.

GI JOE takes the circle and ices WANK-KING'S WANKER, GANGREEN, BURL IVES for standing around doing fuck all and talking during his circle.

SHIT ON MY SHIRT iced because it’s been a while since he last enjoyed ice. If you take the circle you can ice anyone you like or anyone you don’t like.

Trail hound CRAPPER arrives back with the lost walkers, the ones their friends couldn’t give a flying fuck about, cold beer is more important than friends. If you want a friend buy a dog!

MR BROWN EYE the Brunei hasher came in to sing a song and what we heard sounded like a bag of cats in a blender. Future lead vocalists please audition at least 1 week in advance so I can stay the fuck home or at least bring ear plugs.

Leavers iced VV, TWO TIME, LINEAR ACCELERATOR, ANFI safe travels ladies and gentlemen, and as I used to say when I was a Flight Attendant to passengers leaving the plane, missing you already! Fuck Off You Cunts, Fuck Off etc

Last down downs to BALL RINGER, TESTICLES, GI JOE, CROTCH THUMPER and on in to the Hash Hymn

Another good day out, the ladies of the PH3 Ladies Social Club, SQUEEZE MY TUBE, PINKABOO, BELL END and RUNNING BARE's better half enjoyed another fine Thai buffet and the rest of us enjoyed a great run, great feed and a piss up.

Although I must report my displeasure at the fucken Heineken Beer company those cheap bastards have reduced the size of their beer cans to 320ml and they now look like soft drink cans, so I looked like a tea totaling knob swallower when in fact I was pissed, as full as a fairy’s phone book. Back to drinking Leo for me.

See y’all next Monday

On-On!  Rear Gunner


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