Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1753 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Rear Gunner

Editor: Many thanks to Rear Gunner for picking up the ball. And a great read, too.

Up early because I’m haring today's run with SIR MISERABLE CUNT, MENTAL DISORDER and MENSTRUAL DISORDER. Meeting at Monastery Mountain at 0830, I’ve got paint and MENTAL has the paper and MC has the trail is his head so should be a good run or a total fuck up. I’m leaning towards the latter.

I got to the “A” site and it’s a beautiful day not a cloud in the sky but farken hot, we do an equipment check testicles, spectacles, wallet and watch, paper, paint and a partial idea for a trail, let’s go!

Head off down the road and start with a long back check because who doesn’t like a long back check? The FRB’s?

It takes about 3 hours of oppressive heat to lay the paper, fucked up quite a few times with trails going nowhere or into new estates so we have to pick up shredded paper that we have already laid and I paint FT on the trails that go nowhere but it gets done. Fuck!  I’m rooted from the heat and can’t wait to get home for a cold drink, shower and a lay down.

Pea and Ham soup bubbling away on the stove top to have with soft bread rolls also got some cheese, salami, pickles and crackers to snack on. MENSTRUAL DISORDER is going to get the fruit and snacks ready and dish out the soup. Sorted.

SIR MC, MENTAL DISORDER and MENSTRUAL DISORDER arrive at my place at 3pm because I’m the designated driver and it’s raining, not too heavy just enough to piss people off. We load up everything and head off but farken dark skies ahead.

Arrive at the “A” site and VV, TWO TIME are setting up the circle with the ice blocks and making sure the beer is cold. Thank fuck the rain eases up as the Baht Buses arrive, a lot of familiar faces and some we haven’t seen for ages, TEENY WEENY has come all the way from Australia for MC’s birthday or for free food? LORD CHICKEN FUCKER, DOG LICKS IT’S DICK, FERRY QUEEN, FUCK THE TRUTH, HONEY BEAR, STREET CLEANER, PAPRIKA SMILEY, FUZZY LURE even STUPID KRAUT KUNT has left the bars for MC’s birthday or free whisky?

We circle up and it’s virgin and new shoe time so PHANTOM fucks off and hides his NEW MAN BOOTS! There all the rage in Boystown, boots and G strings! I knew he was a closet poof or at least he helps them during the busy season! There’s always next week to christen them PHANTOM!

TEENY WEENY’s teeruk has new shoes and a guy with new blue runners. A couple of virgins, one is a Swede who is a TEENY WEENY clone. GM MENTAL DISORDER announces that due to the rising costs of baht buses and beer that from November the PH3 will increase the price of the run for men from Bt350 to Bt400. It’s the first increase in almost “10 years”. Everything else has gone up in the last 10 years, bar fines, beaver, beers, BJ’s, police bribes. It’s still a fucken bargain at Bt400. No increase for the teeruk’s or kids.

It starts pissing down again so time to start the run before we get washed away. Beer Hunters, REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD, SIR SPAG, TURD BURGLAR, STUPID KRAUT KUNT and the other lazy fuckers have already fucked off so runners head off to the left and won’t be back for an hour or so. MC opens the Bells Whisky and we have a couple a heart starters to warm up. First runner in is WARM PISS thank fuck so the beer truck is open for business.

GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER at the front end again, other FRB’s HARBOR QUICKSTART, GI JOE, SPERM POLLUTER, SEAL SUCKER, MARATHON MAN and NINJA PRINCESS dragging UNSTABLE LOAD up the hill telling him to hurry up.

Fucken rains and stops and then rains again but this is a real Hash that doesn’t stop for anything except no beer maybe? Pea & Ham soup and Bells Whisky supplied today for birthday boy. MC complaining that some cheeky cunts keep coming back drinking all his whisky, some cunt he’s never seen before has had about 15 shots!

FREE WILLY’s Raffle time, if you won a prize you’re lucky or unlucky if you got his used underpants, I don’t remember who won but I didn’t and if you did you know who you are. No BBC this week as SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE hasn’t finished with it.

TADPOLE ran with her rubbish collection bag again helping remove some trash that people just throw in the jungle thinking if you can’t see it it’s not there. Onya TADPOLE that’s a never ending job but every little bit helps.

Hares iced for doing a fantastic job, consensus is it was a great run to a shit run, too many dogs, no paper, too wet, too much tapioca, fucken back checks! Yeh, yeh, yeh after a couple of beers you won’t remember the run, I don’t.

EMPEROR AIRHEAD braves the elements to ice the hares and abuse a few other people as usual. Always funny unless you’re on the receiving end. WANK-KING'S WANKER does the awards, MENSTRUAL DISORDER 50 Hared Runs and HARBOR WHORE 50 Runs.

A lot of people iced today including TEENY WEENY, the Slovenians, the Belgians who have outnumbered the Scandinavians’ and the Pommies. I think THE WIZARD iced a few lucky fuckers but it was wet and I was busy. DIRT LOONEY very quiet today or I was far enough away not to hear him, lucky.

STEPTOE sang the Hares Song for the useless hares, we can’t sing and you don’t want to see our rings. Luckily the Hash Flash, LONE WOLF has a waterproof camera. It’s the one he uses to take underwater pics at the soapy. Still raining after an hour and it’s not going to stop anytime soon so circle finishes with the Hash Hymn last baht bus beers grabbed and ready for departure. Remember folks its “1 beer for the bus” not 1 or 2 for the bus and 1 or two for later tonight and 2 for the fridge and 1 for breakfast!

See you at next week’s run The Queen Matilde de Flandre Run hared by our Belgian friends.

PHANTOM, see you next week to fix those “NEW SHOES”

On-On!  Rear Gunner

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