Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1764 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by My Girlfriend Knows I'm Gay

“And Monday Is a Hashing Day”. Oh yes, it is. Warning: Don’t go out until 5 o’clock in the morning, if next day is the great Christmas Run. Terrible headache. It took me 2 hours of preparation, so we got just in time at the Buffalo Bar. The last baht bus was filled with 2 cheeseheads (that’s how we call our Cheap Charlie neighbours from Holland) and SCAR W/2T’S, full with scars for the occasion. IM LAO wanted to know the female version of Santa Claus. I tried to explain her that he is a holy man and cannot have a woman. To do some people a pleasure, let’s say that we will call the female version Santa Tadpole.

So, it was a nice trip to the well-known beautiful A-site, where the traditional hares for this time of the year, ODD-JOB, LIBERACE and Wiggo Carlsen managed to find new trails in this overused area. ODD-JOB is a genius, isn’t he? Happy he was there in the forest with his motorbike, to explain me a short cut, otherwise I would still be in the jungle. Instead of running or walking, I was wandering like a Jew, listening too much to the singing of the birds.

As many people were not there, there were a lot of replacements: the GM of the day was SCAR; SPERM POLLUTER and CASPER did the Raffle and gave children and females more than 30 presents; UNSTABLE LOAD was Hash Flash. The usual ones, who are now in Cambodia, can start to fear for their jobs, don’t you agree? One of the winners in the Raffle, was BLACK HOOKAH from Bahrain. He has even a second hash name: THE REFEREE. He explained me why, but as I’m not Arabic, I cannot repeat the reason (too long story). Later we met again in the TQ. First time that he and his dog, must have seen snow in their life. As IM LAO took the last prize, a gift of Foregun/Super Shooters/not for children under 3 years, pistols and rifles and guns, the raffle prize found a home. Robbing Santa Claus and banks are on the menu.

Talking about eating: I had probably the best Christmas dinner in my life in VV’s restaurant. Turkey, boiled potatoes, lots of vegetables, French bread and a sauce with mushrooms that you would drink like wine. Fortunately, I hadn’t been eating for three days, so I went 17 times back after food. LORD CHICKEN FUCKER was also happy: if nobody would eat turkey, there would be too many of them, and they would take over the planet.

When LORD CHICKEN FUCKER took over the circle we had to sing: On the First Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge up your arse hole. On the Second Day of Christmas, she sent to me 2 pair of bollocks. Third day - 3 lady boys. Fourth day - 4 stinky turds. Fifth day - 5 smelly rings. Sixth day - 6 tits a swaying. Seventh day - 7 hashers a running. Eighth day - 8 maids a sucking, Ninth day - 9 ladies prancing. Tenth day - 10 cracks a leaking. Eleventh day - 11 Belgians farting. Twelfth day - 12 gays a bumming. The number 12 will not be a coincidence, on this holy day. Even Moses (WANK-KING'S WANKER) was present in the circle. As they found out on the ice before, the one and only present I gave my boyfriend IM LAO, was a headache.

Other thing to mention: TAMPAX on the guitar for a Romantic Song. Backing vocals LOVE BOAT and LIBERACE. IM LAO started to dance, as she was fallen, in love, with KNOB MARLEY. It’s normal: she likes reggae. Again fantastic work from the guitar men.

When the last down-downs and the Hash Hymn were finished, I had more international contacts in the baht bus with 2 Slovenians and PAROU PAROU, the Portuguese speaking guy, who doesn’t like to sit on the ice and has never been cooled down.

In the TQ we had a party with lots of snow, but I don’t think anyone got cold in there. I finished the evening with my friend ARSE VAN HOLE, doing our favourite thing: closing bars early in the morning.

Anyway, hope to see you all again next week, on the New Year’s Run, otherwise it will be in May for me.

On-On!  My Girlfriend Knows I'm Gay

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