A fine day out for a run with rain looming in the distance, but thankfully stayed away. But by god it was hot. Circled was called and new shoes christened for virgin Miss NOM KHAI who reluctantly handed over her shoe for a free beer. After which the hares advised of the criss crossing runners and walkers trails. So off we left flat, water crossings, little shade and that hot sun. The walker’s trail had several loops to keep the pack together and packs of dogs to distance them. WANKING walked into the hares ambush of wasps, being stung several times early on the trail. Walkers and runners coming in about the same time.
VV had his usual great sandwiches on sale as the runners and walkers came in.
The GM called the Circle and immediately iced the hares. Runners comments ranged from a good run, excellent even fucking good run. Walkers commented it was good, plenty dogs and those dreaded wasps. GING GANG GOOLIE sang the hares off the ice with “What Can We Do With A Drunken Sailor”.
GM called in GI JOE to recall his Medical Emergency, who in turns ices NO MORE CUM and WHERE’S MY POO for their part causing his collapse after being dehydrated and feeling DIZZY from the run. Then NO MORE CUM pulling down GI JOE’S trousers to check his vitals. It’s a good thing that NO MORE CUM is not an Aussie, otherwise that would have been an under handed delivery.
FREE WILLY then raffled off the usual suspect prizes with your Scribe getting first pick. Box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates, that will go to his newest divorcee. Other winners, ARSE BANDIT, RUNNING DICK, OUT OF ORDER, GOOSEY GOOSEY GOBBLER, CANNON BALL, SHITHEAD, “Who said ...” and Misses “OUT OF ORDER”.
GM took control again recognising the virgins, Philip from Germany and Miss Nom Khai from Thailand, again getting a new shoe Down Down, unwillingly taken and still wanting that free beer offered by the GM. GM obviously trying to bowl a maiden over.
Germans were then iced. Philip, STUPID KRAUT KUNT, GING GANG GOOLIE, NO MORE CUM and others. SCAR W/2T’S was then iced for going to Jade House for one drink, and getting a bar tab for B5,000. Talk about being knocked for Six.
Your Scribe then stepped up as one of the three visiting hashers, noting that several others decided to stay in the shadows. Who knows why they didn’t put their finger up, perhaps awaiting the third umpires decision.
ARSE BANDIT and HONEY BEAR were iced for talking in the circle. Obviously important. So the GM asked them to share. Apparently, it was about tasting VV’s cheese. Sounds suspiciously sexual. VV explained it was good. Still didn’t clarify things, until the penny dropped that properly pronounced its Gouda.
The Scots were then iced. BURL IVES, DIRT LOONEY, GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and REALLY SADISTIC BARSTARD. Virgin Miss Nom Khai was called in to select which of these Scotsman she preferred. Perhaps BURL IVES looked the richest, so she took her Down Down sitting on him.
SHIT ON MY SHIRT was iced for his generosity in paying $860,000 to the government for capital gains tax. However his Capital Gains Tax bill was actually a little less at $8,600, so he is waiting the government investigators to audit him and explain how he came into that amount of money. A donation to this hash would be more than welcome. Tax free.
WANK-KING’S WANKER then called in BURL IVES for the only recognition on the night. 5 Hared runs. Good stuff, but how about serving out the drinks, being a hare today and not leaving it to others.
SCAR W/2T’S ices the Aussies for their cricket prowess, due to their alleged ball tampering in Boys Town. I thought the comments were a bit abrasive. GI JOE was then iced for his tenaciously terrific tale telling ability and given 2 Down Downs.
SCAR W/2T’S iced ARSE-HOLEO, then swiftly shifted him into the Bucket. Then SUPERVIRGIN was ordered to sit on ARSE-HOLEO, with the cries of “Thank God it wasn’t FREE WILLY”.
Beer Hunters were iced that included ARSE BANDIT, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, SUPERVIRGIN, STUPID KRAUT KUNT and WANK-KING’S WANKER.
GM iced GING GANG GOOLIE for lost property (spectacles) and then PAPRIKA SMILEY for not helping him out as his best friend, so both put in Bucket.
NO MORE CUM then iced HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER, BURL IVES, POLE FUCKER, PHANTOM and REAR GUNNER. The latter two for not stepping up when Aussies were iced.
HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER iced for not liking his name and suggesting to be renamed Sleeping Tiger. However, renamed MOHAMMED HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER.
STUPID KRAUT KUNT was iced for crossing the Circle wearing a towel on his head. PAPRIKA SMILEY was iced and Hash Trash was lifted from him, with fellow Hash Trash ARSE VON DIRT.
Hammersley Hashers present, who are rumoured to “Take It Up The Arse”, ARSE-HOLEO, PAPRIKA SMILEY and KAZI are iced for not being present last week when two girls bared their arses. Howzat for being caught out running between wickets … girls presumably.
THE WIZARD charges GM for No Drinks In The Circle, and so iced. Then charged for not signing in as a Leaver, as GM is going away for 3 weeks for a knee op. THE WIZARD goes on to say that he and the GM are very good neighbours and looks after the GM’s condo when he usually goes away. However, the thanks he gets is a pack of green tea, for which the GM states “Yeah you can have that ‘cos it tastes like shit”. Pity not talking about women.
GM ices LONE WOLF, NO MORE CUM, SCAR W/2T’S, MENSTRUAL DISORDER as committee who will keep Monday Hash in good stead whilst he is away. Just like they took care of “Henry The Weed” they abandoned in the toilet. Whore-t-culturists I believe.
The Hares were called in to sing us a song. BURL IVES in fine form gave a rendition of "I Don’t Want To Join The Army".
Circle was closed with the Hash Hymn.
Total Hashers This Week - 93
Hashers Present Last Week - 68
202 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 155 ANTIQUE; 49 ARSE BANDIT; 81 ARSE VAN HOLE; 72 BEETROOT HEAD; 142 BURL IVES; 18 CANNON BALL; 90 CASPER; 68 CHICKEN DUNDEE; 144 CRAPPER; 111 DEL BOY; 20 DIARRHEA; 130 DIRT LOONEY; 344 DOESN'T TOUCH THE SIDES; 55 FINGERLESS; 7 FLAMINGO BUTT PLUG; 674 G.I. JOE; 810 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 28 GING GANG GOOLIES; 139 GOLDEN RIVET; 34 GOOSEY GOOSEY GOBBLER; 738 LADY FLIPPER; 387 LIBERACE; 471 LONE WOLF; 170 LOST CAUSE; 92 LOVE BOAT; 42 MAEMOT; 86 MASTER CHEF; 70 MAYO QUEEN; 188 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 220 MENTAL DISORDER; 141 MISS USE ME; 784 Emmert MRS. HEAD; 231 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 233 NO MORE CUM; 417 ODD-JOB; 144 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 380 PELER; 5 PICK A WINNER; 71 PINK DOLPHIN; 185 PINKABOO; 99 POCKET SOCKET; 56 POLE FUCKER; 126 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 279 REAR GUNNER; 277 SCAR W/2TS; 86 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 12 SHITHEAD; 734 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 760 SIR FREE WILLY; 765 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 921 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 48 SIR WANDA; 52 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 17 SMOKEY'S NANNY; 115 SPERM POLLUTER; 478 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 235 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 81 TESTICLES; 84 THE WIZARD; 226 TRY-A-FUCK; 12 TV; 236 TWO TIME; 99 UNSTABLE LOAD; 385 VELCRO DICK; 854 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 375 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 54 WHORE IN THE WINDOW;
Returners - 17
5 Carl Kvistad; 299 ARSE-HOLEO; 15 BABY DEE; 152 BENGT POTATO; 47 COW FISTER; 31 DEEP THROAT; 47 FUNNY BUNNY; 158 HONEY BEAR; 325 KARAMBA; 21 MOHAMMED HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER; 94 PHANTOM; 304 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 76 RASPUTIN; 27 RUNNING DEER; 69 SLACK VAGINA; 43 SUPERVIRGIN; 41 WANKING;
Visitors - 6
2 KAZI - Hamersley Hash, Australia
2 Goy Wamrunkae - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
13 PEDO PETE - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
23 OUT OF ORDER - Phoenix Hash, Arizona
4 YANKY CRANK - Tampa Bay Hash, USA
3 GIDDY UP - Unknown
Virgins - 2
Ork Jitdorn; Philip Schmauver;
Leavers - 1
Anniversaries - 1
BURL IVES was congratulated for 5 Hared Runs.
Hash Naming Events - 1
Julius Burai had his Hash Name changed to MOHAMMED HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER.
Saints and Sinners - 1
ARSE VAN HOLE - Hash Trash - Left his award shirt at the A-Site last Monday.
Birthdays - 0
~ coming soon ~