“And Monday is a Hashing Day”. Oh yes it is. The second bahtbus I jumped in, took off immediately to an unknown destination for me. Arrived in a forest, and gathering around with some other Belgians. ARSE VAN HOLE was trying so hard his best, not to show his new black shoes. Unfortunately for him, a snitch had informed the GM already, and the first beer got its destination.
There were also four virgins in that first circle : always important to get new blood in the body of the PH3. Without that, the vital organs can also not survive. Before the run started, I found a bahtbus to lean instead of sitting, next to the usual circle of the Americans, to get some inspiration. One of them has a new washing machine, so now he can wash at least once a year, which didn’t happen before.
About the beautiful run and walk in the forest : paper from the Nash Hash 2017, wet area, lots of water and lakes (next time at this place, I should bring my swimming trouser), feet completely wet. …
At the end I was together with the Slovenians, who saved me a few times out of the many fences on the trail. After I had arrived, LONE WOLF, the Australian mosquito, had taken the chair of the scribe. That scribe didn’t say anything, otherwise some Belgian would have been found back later in the lake, full with snakes, next to the A-site.
THE WIZARD as GM (for the next five years, if you ask me) started traditionally with putting the hares CRAPPER and POCKET SOCKET on the ice, with a beautiful sunset behind them, disappearing behind the mountain. The comments were : too many checks (SEAL SUCKER), not enough hills (GI JOE), some are dying, excellent (from the first front runner DEL BOY), harder than I thought it would be with all these old bastards (virgin Tanya !), like a monkey run (SPERM POLLUTER). Conclusion for the Aussie-Filipine- combination hares : very well done !!!
The Raffle from SIR FREE WILLY started : and then there was light ! Now I started to see what some were saying. In fact it was one big Mafia Raffle as all the cracks were running away with 7 several pieces of cheap shit (according to REAR GUNNER) : LOST CAUSE took the weekly bottle of red wine, POCKET SOCKET choose the John Langer 35 degree spirit and whisky, other cracks took a dog, four full moon bottles, coke dope, cookies and crackers.
The RA EMPEROR AIRHEAD opens the debate : 1) hares on the ice : some have seen a giant snake leaping out of the lake. The arms from TWO TIME were used to take the measure from the thickness and length of the animal. 2) Belgians on the ice because many have to leave the country for a dirty 4-letterword : work. A new hash-name as many Belgians have disappeared : DICK VON HEAD ? 3) The Berliner STUPID KRAUT KUNT who has the biggest TV-Channel in Germany, got the remarkable award for the "Most Drunken Hasher in the World". 4) First the noisy GASMAN in the bucket (FERRY QUEEN received the ice cubes from GASMAN’s ass, later back as a souvenir …) 5) And now a spark of romance : we are witness of a Monday Hash Indian wedding. SUGAR DADDY and his girl he met 10 years ago, so they stay already for a looooong time together. Those who expected a white horse, entering the circle, well forget it. The last white horse used in the PH3, brought SFW to the Monkey House in Bangkok. The great girl and the rich brought in the bridesmaid GLORIOUS CLiTORIOUS (COME ON DADDY) and best man SKK, the German Alcoholic. LONE WOLF could take a last photo of the couple with a smile, cause as we all know, after the marriage the smiling will be finished. 6) Four virgins on the ice : 2 from Australia, 1 from New York (original half Irish and half Slovenian) and 1 from Slovenia.
Circle back to the GM, who puts the other noisy one, FERRY QUEEN, in the bucket, standing with his sandals. SEAL SUCKER could go sit under him in the bucket, just in the right position for some sucking. Now that was the signal for WANK-KING’S WANKER to do the numbers : 150 runs for CRAPPER, 100 runs for the invisible PHANTOM after many many years, and the almost forgotten 50 runs for HOI WAN who started in 1995.
GM puts SPERM POLLUTER and ARSE BANDIT on the ice : the public vote for the “Wanker of the Week” was very clear. SPERM could give the trophy to the BANDIT, who lost his mobile yesterday in the Jungle-bucket.
As the most valuable NO MORE CUM and SCAR left the country, ARSE BANDIT takes the circle and put the Hash Crash of the week, HOME BREW, on the ice. After that, THE WIZARD put UNSTABLE LOAD and the rest of the Belgian Wankers and Bastards on the ice : accused of living in a Muslim country and child slavery. UNSTABLE’s daughter, NINJA PRINCESS, must do his running for him, help him in the jungle and bringing the whole time beer to him. I can only say : you have to teach your children well right from in the beginning.
Hares song was brought by BURL IVES, so the half of the rest of the circle started to fall asleep (it was not a folk song). Well done for BURL IVES. When the final down-downs and the Hash Hymn were finished, I was in a bahtbus with all different nationalities.
In Nicky’s Bar, about 25 plundered the plenty of food. The GM THE WIZARD organized a well deserved applause for Debbie. I ended the evening with a lone ghost, getting champagne and paradise.
Anyway, hope to see you all again next week.
On-On! My Girlfriend Knows I'm Gay
Total Hashers This Week - 76
Hashers Present Last Week - 57
12 Chopaka Tintan; 53 ARSE BANDIT; 86 ARSE VAN HOLE; 647 BALL RINGER; 428 BELL END; 166 BEN 10; 147 BURL IVES; 24 CANNON BALL; 94 CASPER; 150 CRAPPER; 117 DEL BOY; 23 DIARRHEA; 136 DIRT LOONEY; 558 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 1441 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 62 FERRY QUEEN; 50 FUNNY BUNNY; 679 G.I. JOE; 345 GANGREEN; 46 GAS MAN; 34 GING GANG GOOLIES; 2 GLORIOUS CLITORIOUS; 145 GOLDEN RIVET; 31 HAPPY SURVIVOR; 50 HOI WAN; 62 IM LAO; 24 JACK WOW; 744 LADY FLIPPER; 393 LIBERACE; 176 LOST CAUSE; 75 MAYO QUEEN; 146 MISS USE ME; 82 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I'M GAY; 234 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 100 PHANTOM; 77 PINK DOLPHIN; 102 POCKET SOCKET; 283 REAR GUNNER; 257 SEAL SUCKER; 35 SHE'S THE BOSS; 740 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 766 SIR FREE WILLY; 771 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 75 SLACK VAGINA; 57 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 21 SMOKEY'S NANNY; 119 SPERM POLLUTER; 482 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 241 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 21 THE COUNT; 90 THE WIZARD; 240 TWO TIME; 105 UNSTABLE LOAD; 390 VELCRO DICK; 860 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 381 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 59 WHORE IN THE WINDOW;
Returners - 12
3 Philip Schmuder; 72 CHICKEN DUNDEE; 37 DREGS; 473 LONE WOLF; 46 MAEMOT; 789 MRS. HEAD; 382 PELER; 188 PINKABOO; 926 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 52 SUGAR DADDY; 227 TRY-A-FUCK; 27 VIOS;
Visitors - 3
15 HOME BREW Chiang Mai Hash, Thailand
14 PEDO PETE Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 COME ON DADDY - Unknown Hash
Virgins - 4
Tanya Dunrabin; Ash Dunrabin; JJ Edwards; Mitja Slibar;
Leavers - 1
WHORE IN THE WINDOW;
Anniversaries - 6
ARSE BANDIT was awarded his 50th Run T-Shirt.
SUGAR DADDY was awarded his 50th Run T-Shirt.
CRAPPER was congratulated on completing his 150th Run.
PHANTOM was congratulated on completing his 100th Run.
FUNNY BUNNY was congratulated on completing her 50th Run.
HOI WAN was congratulated on completing her 50th Run.
Hash Naming Events - 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners - 2
HOME BREW - Hash Crash - Passed out on the trail and went for a tumble.
Wanker of the Week - ARSE BANDIT
Birthdays - 0
~ none this week ~