Just returning from another Nepal Trekking adventure to Thailand. I had to find out that our lovely Thai Food Court at the airport had been converted to a Chinese Noodle Shop with hundreds of Chinese occupying and no place to sit. It dawned to me what will happen here in future if 10 million more Chinese will swarm this country every year.... Not so in the Pattaya Hash... I was on my return immediately greeted by Old-timer FREE WILLY with the 100th Run shirt for NEXT WEEK which I have to carry to Germany for him in August because it is urgently needed!
Some by-standers argued... we will not give it to him because on the front it says: 100th Run NEXT WEEK... so only next week... but the following week: 100th Run Next Week and so on and so on... on his 199th Run he will eventually get it because next week it will then be his 200th Run Next Week, all sounds logical, right?
Coming to the Hash expecting ahelluvalot of rain I think everybody was surprised that it actually didn't rain but the turnout was rather rainy season like this week... 66 sign ups with only a small but illustrious pack out on the trail.
Our entertaining GM THE WIZARD called the first circle to point out CRAPPER's new shoes for a down down. And the hares PELER, ARSE-A-HOLIC, PINK DOLPHIN and PRINCESS BUM BOY to give instructions on the trail. And off the pack went around the lake while I was chatting to DIARRHEA who explained about his facial injury which looked like a boxer after a lost bout. It was only a Hash Crash from last week which had to be stitched.
After two early checks, DEL BOY got ahead going the right way and was never to be seen again... followed by the usual FRBs SEAL SUCKER, DIARRHEA, HOME BREW and Yours Truly who got ahead of the rest as not many checks followed to make it look like a slippery trail running event, only HOME BREW came down twice. Same as the week before where he earned the famous Hash Crash award already.
The trail continued through puddles after puddles through the scenic country park til we reached the plastic note board of the split for runners and walkers... followed by another trail part for the runners to get back to the bins after around 8 km in a bit more than an hour. Enjoyable run we all thought... Could have been a few more checks but who cares...
Followed by some chit chat around the bins and VV's delicious sandwiches GM THE WIZARD calls the second circle for regular Hash proceedings, punishments and good stories. Always remember: "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story!"
Hares on the ice first followed by some comments on the run like; not enough water, slippery trail, puddles of clean water, etc. but all in all response was that it was a good, well papered trail. Somebody complained that the sticks at one check where pointed falsely in a wrong direction... who knows...
FREE WILLY's Raffle had six winners this week: THE COUNT, THE WIZARD, GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER, IM LAO, FAIRY QUEEN and LOST CAUSE... what a lucky day and a happy down down.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD invites the Hares again on the ice followed by another praise of the site which particularly Nature Lovers enjoyed – and some affirmation by the Hares that they will go out this week to pick up the plastic sign board for the R/W split. Don't trash the Bush!!
Haggis Eater DIRT LOONEY on the ice next also but not only because he will be next weeks Hare promising a funny dialect from the Island north of Germany which English people usually don't really understand but because they keep all the off-shore money in the banks in Edinburgh. Theresa May doesn't really wanna let them go into independence.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD meanwhile tells a story about DIRT LOONEY from 20 years ago when he came hashing first, fairly unknown and wanted to blow the Horn! EMPEROR AIRHEAD next tries to find out by acclamation how many runners, walkers and Beer Hunters there were today only to get frustrated because 34 didn't either understand the question, were absent minded or lingering in the back as greezers, som tam eaters and grass feeders...
EMPEROR AIRHEAD further ices some unpopular figures and picks naturally SEAL SUCKER who ends up in the bucket for not taking off his Jungle Hash cap, what a crime. UNSTABLE LOAD, always a culprit, the more than quiet DREGS and PHANTOM all but dressed in Black! All but deserved their down downs!
THE WIZARD takes the circle back and puts our very own ARSE VAN HOLE straight in the Bucket! He's not wearing a Hash Shirt but some blueish yellowish shirt imprinted Swamp Rats – what the Hell is that - surely not a Hash! The “I forgot bad luck down down award”... well deserved.
HOME BREW on the ice next as he was the Hash Crash already last week and he fell gain down twice today only to have his Hash Crash award swapped with the Toilet Seat award for not being careful enough... you have been warned!!
WANK-KING'S WANKER next with some stats and a 100th Run Shirt award for PHANTOM. Well done!
GM again puts all the Aussies on the Ice as he witnessed the European Song Contest only to find out that Australia send an Abo girl to participate only coming 26th to demonstrate that they belong to the Community but only by their fake passports and fake birth certificates because culturally they adapted to the primitive culture of their aboriginal host and lost all memories of their British forefathers. Another study showed that in 2022 about 80% of all Aussies will be obese. And when it comes to love making Aussies will do it a whopping 4 times per year – that's why they have to rely on immigration so much!
SPERM POLLUTER on the ice next because he took the circle at the latest GM Run and might have offended somebody racially so THE WIZARD tells some jokes about racism which I don't recall completely and its nothing to be imprinted and could be served as future evidence in a court case against the writer...
At the end the “boring” Hares had no Hares Song, so, BURL IVES stepped in to do the Dogs Asshole song again- a classic, originally composed by DANCES WITH DOGS in Hong Kong.
After the Hash Hymn and some last down downs it was On On to The Tahitian Queen! Was it famous Yellow Mustard Hot Dogs again this time??
On-On! Beverley Hills Pink Cock
Total Hashers This Week - 66
Hashers Present Last Week - 56
13 Chopaka Tintan; 87 ARSE VAN HOLE; 648 BALL RINGER; 429 BELL END; 167 BEN 10; 148 BURL IVES; 25 CANNONBALL; 95 CASPER; 151 CRAPPER; 118 DEL BOY; 24 DIARRHEA; 137 DIRT LOONEY; 38 DREGS; 559 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 1442 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 63 FERRY QUEEN; 51 FUNNY BUNNY; 680 G.I. JOE; 346 GANGREEN; 35 GING GANG GOOLIES; 3 GLORIOUS CLITORIOUS; 146 GOLDEN RIVET; 32 HAPPY SURVIVOR; 51 HOI WAN; 16 HOME BREW; 63 IM LAO; 25 JACK WOW; 745 LADY FLIPPER; 394 LIBERACE; 474 LONE WOLF; 177 LOST CAUSE; 76 MAYO QUEEN; 147 MISS USE ME; 790 MRS. HEAD; 83 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I'M GAY; 235 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 383 PELER; 101 PHANTOM; 78 PINK DOLPHIN; 189 PINKABOO; 103 POCKET SOCKET; 284 REAR GUNNER; 258 SEAL SUCKER; 36 SHE'S THE BOSS; 741 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 767 SIR FREE WILLY; 772 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 927 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 76 SLACK VAGINA; 120 SPERM POLLUTER; 483 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 22 THE COUNT; 91 THE WIZARD; 106 UNSTABLE LOAD; 861 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 382 WANK-KING'S WANKER;
Returners - 5
16 Wassana Boonsri; 228 BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK; 816 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 130 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 91 TELLY TUBBY;
Visitors - 5
18 AXEL GREASE - Cebu City H3, Philippines
23 NINJA PRINCESS - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
21 NOISY QUEEN - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
19 SILENT PRINCESS - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
13 KERMIT THE FROG - Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
JACK WOW having completed 25 PH3 Runs is now a full member.
CANNONBALL having completed 25 PH3 Runs is now a full member.
Virgins - 0
~ none this week ~
Leavers - 1
Anniversaries - 1
PHANTOM was awarded his 100th Run T-Shirt
Hash Naming Events - 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners - 0
~ none this week ~
Birthdays - 0
~ none this week ~