PH3 Run 1794 Scribe
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Run #1794, The Aussie Run started at the beautiful Aussie "A" site on a lovely afternoon with a sea of yellow ANZAC shirts filling the crowd. Once the crowd gathered, the significance of the ANZAC sacrifices were explained and we all stood quietly for a moment of silence followed by a recital of the ANZAC oath by veteran LONE WOLF, 'Lest we forget'.
The Aussie hares, LONE WOLF, KAM, CAPTAIN KANGAROO, PISS POORER, PHANTOM, SCARLET PIMPERNEL, RUBBER DICK, SLUG, NO KNICKERS, and BABY NO KNICKERS were introduced and final trail information was given to the runners including a double check with an out and back for the walkers and a longer ? trail for the runners. We were away and back again very shortly for an early evening enjoying VV's barbecue, amber nectar, and socializing with friends in our park like setting.
The following are briefs from the night.
Where Are You? After becoming lost, ANTIQUE is iced by the GM, MENTAL DISORDER. After claims were made about the lack of HHH signage, the Aussie hares were invited to join him whilst a poll was taken amongst the circle. The circle was split and ANTIQUE was asked to choose one hare for punishment. Unwilling to single anyone out, he was sent to the bucket in their place as the hares were punished by REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD's version of "All Australians Are Born Gay" song.
Better Late Than Never? SIR FREE WILLY's Raffle is delayed by a presentation of military helmets to four Americans, GI JOE, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, SHIT ON MY SHIRT and JACK WOW for America's "showing up late to the war". The Raffle went off after with 14 prizes including some great Australia bundles and many happy winners.
Paper or Arrows? It was 4 years ago from this very "A" site that three virgins were almost lost forever. GM ices LOST CAUSE, SHIT ON MY SHIRT and MASTER CHEF in remembrance of the event and their late night discovery by search and rescue teams. Apparently, they missed the part about following paper on the ground and not arrows in the trees.
Who Won? The Aussie hares held a "Best Dressed Contest" for runners sporting a shiny new ANZAC shirt with prizes given out. It must have been a group win. CAPTAIN KANGAROO and KAM then held an auction benefiting Care for Kids. A hat was passed around and after an intense bidding war, GI JOE finally outbid himself for the win. The real winners were the kids.
They Can Be Heros? EMPEROR AIRHEAD sits the hares on the ice while he ponders where are all the runners in the running club. DIRT LOONEY is called out being the only runner to compete in last weeks marathon and is given a honorable mention. AIRHEAD then gives a history lesson of the 100 year anniversary on the heroics of the ANZAC before icing local heroes SIR FREE WILLY and VV for their "work of 10 men" behind the scenes of the hash. After leaving the ice, VV is heard saying, "If my ass is not wet, I am not happy.".
Who Knew? Silence is Golden but ice is better for SIMONE EBOLA. GM MENTAL buckets the offending talker before assembling a group of four Harriettes sporting Aussie gear, on the ice for a quiz on "What do you know about Australians?" Answers ranged from "bottom of the world" (sorry penguins), to many kangaroos. More on that later.
And The Winner Is? Awardmeister WANK-KING'S WANKER gives out some new shirts to SIMONE EBOLA and THE WIZARD for 100 Runs each and MAYO QUEEN for 10 Hares. Special attention is called to SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC for attending more runs, 750, than as WW put it, all of us together. A special mention given to NO KNICKERS and SCARLET PIMPERNEL for 5 Aussie hares each.
Will He Or Won't He? THE WIZARD enters and promptly ices people for the 'Wanker of the Week' award. GM (last weeks winner), SEAL SUCKER (just because he looks so good on ice), and all 10 hares are sat on the ice. The hares as a group are determined to be the winners for laying a trail distance of less than a half kilometer each. As THE WIZARD explained, a 4.5 kilometer trail is much too short for an athlete such as himself. After much indecision back and forth on his whereabouts next week, PHANTOM finally accepts on behalf of the hares.
Who Knew Part 2? Aussie hares are lined up and given a new question and answer about Australia. Being their home country, we expected more than 4 correct/6 wrong, incorrect answerers were iced.
Recycling? GM MENTAL calls LORD CHICKEN FUCKER in with a question. Why does he refill his old can with a new beer from the beer truck? His answer is simply recycling, and after an all too long explanation of how a joey has relieved him of tingly legs from the week prior, he takes the circle. The joey is promptly bucketed.
News Flash? After hearing EMPEROR AIRHEAD's accusation of overloading overhead bins on his return flight, GM MENTAL was brought to the ice. Further investigation by LORD CHICKEN FUCKER has revealed that the excess weight was due to the trafficking of smuggled pygmy in MENTAL's carry on luggage. Pygmies are currently 2 for 1 in Boyz Town.
How Did They Get There? Remember the kangaroos from the Harriettes before? Another investigation by LORD CHICKEN FUCKER has discovered that prior traversing the oceans in a jumbo jet, CAPTAIN KANGAROO built up flight miles flying back and forth across Australia parachuting young joeys all around the continent. Now you know.
Opposites Attract? SIMONE EBOLA and TAMPAX are brought into the circle for being "conversationalists." The Joey is pardoned to the ices and the two talkers are bucketed. Conversely, LORD CHICKEN FUCKER calls CANNONBALL to the ice because his streak is 3 weeks and going without saying a word. Opposites do attract!
Closing Songs? GM calls on the hares to sing us a song. The hares continuing the short theme wrote one line for each kilometer run. The four line song came and went so fast, DIRT LOONEY took it upon himself to sing it much louder and with increasing gusto over and over. Final down down were given and BEN 10 lead us all in a real song, the Hash Hymn.
All in all it was a great day and a Great Aussie run. Thank you Aussies and thank you to the hares. On-On to I-Rovers.
On-On! Out of Order