The A Site:
The Baht Buses find the A site and most importantly, the Beer Truck. We were all gathered in a Coconut Grove out near a Near Golf Course. This gives credibility to us singing "We've got a lovely bunch of Coconuts." It was great to have a New Run Site. Well it was for DAGS and HALFWAY, but it seems like the rest of the Pack have been here several times recently.
The Hares are bought out to give Run Details. "It's a Blue Run." We have Blue Paper, Blue Trail Marker, Blue Fingers, Blue Cloths, even their Brown Eyes were Blue. Everything was Belgium Blue, all except the Sky. It was a horrible dark Grey Black colour.
The Hares call On On and SPERM POLLUTER shoots out like a 15 year old boy's Premature Ejaculation. The rest of the Pack follow. Out of the Coconuts and on on to a muddy track which lead us into Farm Cuntry. There were Muddy Waters everywhere and Hashers were Slip Slidin Away. A wash away sees brave, fearless Hashers Tip-Toeing Through the Tulips. I mean stream. Can't get those Shoes wet. haha, too late. On On is the call and we're still on a muddy road.
The Pack is stretching out a bit now as we go through a Pineapple Plantation. I'm thinking this is quite a beautiful area until I see a mountainous hill loom closer and closer, but we get to a fork in the road where the Runners head right and the Walkers left. LONE WOLF cums along side and suggests that I write in my Report that he is the best Hash Flash that's ever been. We get to a Flood-way where the water is gushing over the track. No way to keep the feet dry here. LONE says to stand in the stream and he'll take our photo. "No Probs" I see this Giant Snail by my feet so pick it up and throw it into the Jungle. The Bastard had been following me around all day.
The Walkers Trail takes a left turn through a Farmers Crop and TURD BURGLAR and his mate are so busy Gobbing Off that they missed the Marker. After several more metres, LONE WOLF calls them On Back. TURD BURGLAR is heard to say that he needs a Piss anyway, so proceeds to Piss on on the Trail Marker. "That deserves The Bucket I thought." On On and before long the A Site cums into view.
A good Walk and I could tell that the Runners had a good work out too.
First Hasher I bumped into was FREE WILLY who had broken into a sweat walking to his chair. As he sat there recovering from his workout, he gave me an education into what Katoys do to fellow prison inmates. Reminisced about Brother Hashers from his home town and the escapades of running a Massage Parlour. All very interesting.
The Runners cum sprinting back and it's SPERMY that leads the Pack in, closely followed by WANK-KING'S WANKER. "What?????" How could this be??? Oh I see, The Beer Hunters arrived back at the same time.
Now let's grab one of VV's chicken n curry rolls and a beer. You've done it again VV. Bloody Beautiful!
The Hares are called out. STUPID KRAUT KUNT is called out to do a Run Report. Tooooo Flat he says. MENTAL goes around the Circle getting more encouraging comments. Finally a Down Down Song is sung for the Hares. "Here's to these cunts they are Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue, etc."
DAGS says who's the little Irish Guy that wont shut the fuck up? He's 20 decibells loader than anyone else. DIRT LOONEY takes hum-bridge at this remark and quickly retorts, "Ah that's great cuming from you ya Kiwi Kunt." hahaha
FREE WILLY's Raffle that makes everybody happy gets under way with everyone scrambling for their tickets.
MENTAL DISORDER charges DAGS for dropping a Bottle Top on the ground in KL at Mother Hash and brought it all the way back to PH3 to charge him for Hash Trash. "Get a Life" shouts THE WIZARD. hahaha
LORD CHICKEN FUCKER for imitating EMPEROR AIRHEAD.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD gets the Hares on Ice. The story goes that the EMPEROR lives alone and his house gets a bit untidy and dirty which brings an infestation of insects. He had his place fumigated to kill the insects, but these 3 survived, haha, so on the ice.
He continues with a History Lesson of how the Hash was over run with Germans, then came the Norweigans, then the Belgiums, then the Poms and now the Aussies, but look out because the Yanks are cuming.
Once a Front Runner, now a Beer Hunter as WANK-KING'S WANKER is brought into the Circle to model the new Beer Hunters Shirt and very smart too. I've never really thought of WANKINGS as a Model.
VV on Ice. Where did you get that Vietnam Run Shirt? VELCRO DICK on Ice for giving all his Hash Gear away. But wait. I appears that his unmentionable has given it all away and is not wearing any Hash Gear so she proceeds to do a strip.
WANK-KING'S WANKER casts accolades to HARBOUR WHORE for 5th Hared Run. And to LADY FLIPPER for 750 Runs and an award chair.
ICE for THE WIZARD and NIGHT RIDER for not having cars to get to Hash. It appears that the cars will be out of the Workshop next week, or the week after, or the week after etc. ICE for the HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER for doing something he shouldn't have down in Walking Street. Also PHANTOM the Beer Hunter.
ICE for DIRT LOONEY cos he didn't know if he was going, but knew he was cuming. ICE for the twin Dirt Popeyes. (feel the love). ICE for LIBERACE on his return from Ethiopia. He reckons their money stinks worse than their Pussy. LIBERATE LIBERACE.
ICE for DAGS wearing the Hash Trash Hat. Then MENTAL for dumping his Mobile while having a Dump in McDonalds. Now he gets the Hat. He quickly dobbs in MENSTRUAL. ICE for WHORE IN THE WINDOW as he has the 'Wanker of the Week' Spoon. SUGAR DADDY is an Indian wearing Scottish Tartan Shorts and is given the the option of doing a Jig or take the Spoon. He took the Spoon. Lost Keys. GING GANG GOOLIE in the Bucket.
The Hare comes out and sings, "Paint it Blue" I mean Black, I mean Blue. Whatever. The Rolling Stones would have turned in their Graves. They are dead aren't they? Naaaa! Seriously he did a good job if you understand Belgiumish. Ably supported in the Choruses by LOONEY and the rest. La La La La La La. DAGS and HALFWAY in the Bucket because we're Hamersley.
A wonderful rendition of Swing Low then it's onto the Buses. But we can't get out because SPERMY has gone off the road and got bogged and blocked the whole road. All his mates got muddied up and pushed and pulled him out. He had some lame excuse that CASPER was driving, but we know she wouldn't do something like that. Looks like you have a new 'Wanker of the Week' for next week. hahaha
Thanks guys for a great night
Total Hashers This Week - 49
Hashers Present Last Week - 36
667 BALL RINGER; 448 BELL END; 186 BEN 10; 39 CANNONBALL; 5 COME ON DADDY; 156 DIRT LOONEY; 576 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 699 G.I. JOE; 364 GANGREEN; 834 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 45 GING GANG GOOLIES; 160 GOLDEN RIVET; 84 HARBOR WHORE; 764 LADY FLIPPER; 491 LONE WOLF; 1105 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 191 LOST CAUSE; 252 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 118 PHANTOM; 106 RAT VON KIEL; 759 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 786 SIR FREE WILLY; 791 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 10 SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR; 499 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 204 STEPTOE; 56 SUGAR DADDY; 472 TAMPAX; 34 THE COUNT; 110 THE WIZARD; 232 TURD BURGLAR; 256 TWO TIME; 406 VELCRO DICK; 880 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 401 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 61 WHORE IN THE WINDOW;
Returners - 11
97 CASPER; 1456 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 14 JUNGLE MOTHER; 411 LIBERACE; 196 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 232 MENTAL DISORDER; 27 MOHAMMED HUNGARIAN HOOKER HUMPER; 94 PINK DOLPHIN; 139 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 124 SPERM POLLUTER; 242 STUPID KRAUT KUNT;
Visitors - 2
2 DAGS - Hamersley Hash, Australia
7 HALF WAY - Hamersley Hash, Australia
Virgins - 0
~ none this week ~
Leavers - 2
MENSTRUAL DISORDER; MENTAL DISORDER;
Anniversaries - 3
HARBOR WHORE was congratulated fot 5 Hared Runs.
LADY FLIPPER was awarded her 750th Run Chair.
WANK-KING'S WANKER was awarded his 400th Run T-Shirt.
Hash Naming Events - 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners - 4
DAGS Hash Trash - Littering on the Malaysia Hash.
MENTAL DISORDER - Hash Trash - Missing the rubbish bin.
RAT VON KIEL - Hash Trash - Left his gear on trail while haring.
SUGAR DADDY - Wanker of the Week
Birthdays - 0
~ none this week ~