The Baht bus sped along Soi Polo 1 and returner, FLYING FINN, cried out he knew where the A-site was and there was a bar conveniently opposite for him to imbibe with the Beer Hunters, but it was not to be and the songtaow sped on past the Polo Club and we turned onto a dirt track. The stalwarts were there setting up in a nice shady area with plenty of palm trees near the lake.
GM called the first circle and asked the one virgin to introduce herself - Dianne from New Zealand. The hares, SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC, PRINCESS BUM BOY and PINK DOLPHIN explained their trail and promised hills and water and said the Walkers split was marked with blue paper. We all set off and the trail was very well marked with shredded paper and hanging paper and the Walker/Runner split was indeed well marked with blue paper and the Walkers continued on over nice flat land with plenty of dead palm fronds to trip over. The walk was 3.3 km and very enjoyable and even the Virgin enjoyed it and it allayed her fears of having to swim through rivers, swing down ropes and climb up mountains with the possibility of injuring herself. The runners came in soon after the last walkers so the pack was kept together well with three backchecks.
At 6:30 PM the GM, THE WIZARD, called the circle and asked what people thought of the run. Everybody seemed very happy but DIRT LOONEY still had an issue with check sticks being painted on one side only. GI JOE reckoned he found all three backchecks but there were no rivers or mountains. I think hashers were all happy there weren’t any and it was a good run with well marked trail. Well done hares.
As usual, it was SIR FREE WILLY next with his Raffle and REAR GUNNER took the bubbly, RAT VON KIEL the vodka, LIBERACE and PINK DOLPHIN some munchies, SIMONE EBOLA and SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR something useful I’m sure. SAMBA LA BAMBA got lots of goodies from the Mekong Hash kindly donated by POCKET SOCKET and POCKET SOCKET won a big green Kermit which she gave to a happy BEN 10.
THE WIZARD took the circle again and came up with another funny story (how does he think up these stories every week) about his offer of a fight with SHITHEAD last week and said he used to be the second rated fighter in his weight class. Yeah? That’s because he came second in all his fights. 555
EMPEROR AIRHEAD’s turn this time and he must be in a generous mood as he thanks SIR FREE WILLY and LADY FLIPPER for all the work they do behind the scenes and how the Hash couldn’t operate without them. Why is he greasing up to SFW? But yes, thank you to SFW and his good wife for all they do and the flak SFW takes over the Raffle but someone has to do that job.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD puts the hares on the ice and asked who did the trail and who chose the site but they all worked together and gave us a good site, a good run and good weather. Well done again and thank you hares.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD then iced FERRY QUEEN and STUPID KRAUT KUNT and told them he can get any woman he wants and just has to snap his fingers or as someone called out, his wallet. It is a premonition of things to come for FERRY QUEEN. While he is much younger than most of us and can get special girls he is finding out even now that the girl will go with whoever is willing to pay the most despite age or good looks.
SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR was iced and his Hash Trash hat removed. Let’s hope he has learned his lesson. His wife of 40 years was put on the ice with him and given the hash name FRENCH KISS. They both have birthdays in October and two birthday cakes were brought out for them. It is also FERRY QUEEN’s birthday in October so he was iced too and STUPID KRAUT KUNT opened a bottle of bubbly for them.
THE WIZARD took over with an amusing piece about his wife Evey. Just as well she checks all these jokes before hand and doesn’t mind otherwise we might be thinking she was a Russian prostitute, his daughter, been on a missing persons list and a rubbish cook. Four poor hashers who know them both had to endure the ice for an extended time and had to decide if statements about his wife were true or false. CRAPPER, DIRT LOONEY, CANNONBALL and JACK WOW did their best. Thank you THE WIZARD for taking the time to work out some jokes often at your own expense. (and your wife’s)
WANK-KING’S WANKER took the circle for his usual awards ceremony but it went on so long and was so confused it’s hard to know what was what. Is this an act or is he always like this? LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE was awarded a chair for 500 Runs, HARBOR WHORE a red cap for 5 hares, GI JOE another red cap for 700 runs and NA HEE MAN was on ice for 52 runs. Apparently he has been given his T-Shirt for 50 runs but it had not been acknowledged. We had to listen to an explanation once again of what his name means in Thai and why he will never have a Thai wife, something I think he is secretly grateful for.
MOHAMMED THE SMILING NORWEGIAN was in the bucket and kept his wooden spoon as Wanker of the Week as he was seen doing unmentionable things with it. TICKLE ME PINK, his girlfriend sat on the ice and GANGREEN sang her a funny song, “Will you swallow my cum?”
LORD CHICKEN FUCKER took the circle and didn’t really have anything to say till he looked around the circle and spied TICKLE ME PINK so iced her and was delighted when she showed skin. Hash Flash, SEAL SUCKER got all excited and swooped down for a photo but I think he was too late.
LCF then spied another lady, a Virgin, who had been promised she wouldn’t be put on ice but she was coaxed on despite her protestations and LCF tried to make it a more enjoyable experience for her by getting on the ice with her and trying to chat her up but I don’t know that a description of what ice does to your nether regions is really a turn on.
THE WIZARD put SEAL SUCKER and SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE on the ice, two Kiwis who volunteered for duties today.
The hares were on the ice for the Hares’ Song and LCF sang, “He’s a dedicated wearer of pink panties” to The Kinks tune. SAMBA LA BAMBA, THE COUNT, TRIGAMIST, BEN 10 and BALL RINGER led us all in the Hash Hymn. Another enjoyable night and thank you to everyone.
On-On! Sauce for the Goose
Total Hashers This Week - 67
Hashers Present Last Week - 45
3 Wachiraphon Khansanthia; 155 BENGT POTATO; 166 BURL IVES; 41 CANNONBALL; 158 DIRT LOONEY; 578 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 1458 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 701 G.I. JOE; 366 GANGREEN; 836 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 47 GING GANG GOOLIES; 86 HARBOR WHORE; 61 HOI WAN; 38 JACK WOW; 766 LADY FLIPPER; 501 LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 413 LIBERACE; 1107 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 103 MASTER CHEF; 91 MAYO QUEEN; 165 MISS USE ME; 13 MOHAMMED THE SMILING NORWEGIAN; 53 NA HEE MAN; 149 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 96 PINK DOLPHIN; 108 RAT VON KIEL; 7 SAMBA LA BAMBA; 72 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE; 277 SEAL SUCKER; 103 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 108 SIMONE EBOLA; 761 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 788 SIR FREE WILLY; 793 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 12 SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR; 244 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 474 TAMPAX; 36 THE COUNT; 112 THE WIZARD; 13 TICKLE ME PINK; 258 TWO TIME; 408 VELCRO DICK; 882 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 403 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 63 WHORE IN THE WINDOW;
Returners - 17
668 BALL RINGER; 91 BANANAS; 449 BELL END; 187 BEN 10; 166 CRAPPER; 233 DOG LICKS ITS DICK; 53 DREGGS; 64 FERRY QUEEN; 174 FLYING FINN; 35 HARBOR QUICKSTART; 802 MRS. HEAD; 194 PINKABOO; 117 POCKET SOCKET; 140 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 289 REAR GUNNER; 940 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 90 STREET CLEANER;
Visitors - 4
2 TRIGGA MIST - London Hash, UK
10 FRENCH KISS - Pattaya Bush Hash, Thailand
12 PATPOM - Siam Sunday H3
12 SNAKE BITE - Siam Sunday H3
Virgins - 1
Leavers - 0
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries - 3
HARBOR WHORE was awarded his 5 Hared Runs Hat.
G.I. JOE was awarded his 700th Run Hat.
LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE was awarded her 500th Run Chair.
Hash Naming Events - 1
Evelyn Munch was given the New Hash Name FRENCH KISS.
Saints and Sinners - 1
Wanker of the Week - MOHAMMED THE SMILING NORWEGIAN
Birthdays - 2
Happy Birthday FRENCH KISS - October 12
Happy Birthday SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR - October 5