As the baht bus began the journey from Pattaya to the A-Site, Highway 331 Asian University, it was looking like a great afternoon for a run. As we neared the A-Site the telltale moisture on the road suggested a rain shower was not far away. Unfortunately, as the bus arrived at the destination a refreshing shower was in progress, hashers ejected from the bus scattered looking for cover, while LIBERACE and GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER had water proofed the signup area – at least for them, as they reclined in LIBERACE's car while accepting cash through the window.
Wandering the A-Site MENTAL DISORDER, looked a little lost, stripped of GM's duties for the day, as he was a hare, while also missing the guiding hand of MENSTRUAL DISORDER, who was visiting her family.
THE WIZARD, who had stepped up to GM gave the customary 5 minute warning, which alerted me to MENTAL DISORDER's behaviour. Watching MENTAL closely, as THE WIZARD called the circle, MENTAL was mouthing the circle call, while firmly gripping the beer bus to prevent finding himself walking into the circle.
THE WIZARD gave a round up of Hash News, welcomed 6 virgins and demonstrated a second use for new shoes – to the amusement of some owners. THE WIZARD called the 7 hares into the circle, who had perhaps prematurely decided, they should be named Magnificent 7. As the hares found they only numbered 5 this would require a name change and they would then be referred to as Enthusiastic 5. MENTAL DISORDER gave the usual run instructions, clearly enjoying his return to the circle, giving detailed and repeated instructions, until, with a tear in his eye, released the runners in the direction of the first paper.
With all runners hopefully returned and hydrated, THE WIZARD called the circle. Hares were called on the ice and the run dissection began. MENTAL DISORDER spoke about the virgin trail – his mind was clearly somewhere else. SPEEDO PETE said he preferred CRAPPER's run and GOLDEN RIVET gave a paid political announcement. The run trail, however, went through a fresh planting of tapioca – hashers are reminded fresh plantings are never to be crossed, always travel at the extremities of the planting.
GM gave control to the King of Retail aka SIR FREE WILLY to conduct the Raffle. Congratulations to the winners and many thanks for the generous prizes donated.
GM called MENTAL DISORDER and RAT VON KIEL to the ice. It must be said here that RAT VON KIEL, clearly batting above his abilities, had brought an attractive partner to the hash. Somehow MENTAL DISORDER and RAT VON KIEL had set a wager, that should MENTAL DISORDER not speak about sex in the circle for 20 minutes, RAT VON KIEL would propose marriage to his partner. MENTAL DISORDER thought he was on a winner here, RAT VON KIEL thought he had a win win situation, and RAT VON KIEL's partner was in a mild panic.
GM gave the circle to AIRHEAD who called the hares on the ice. An interrogation followed to see which hare did the work and which just wanted the credit. AIRHEAD then called RAT VON KIEL and his virgin on the ice. While the virgin had no hash name his nickname was 'springer' – as his vocation, at the port in his home country, necessitated he walk on stilts with springs. RAT VON KIEL thought he would emphasize the spring bit, by jumping around the circle – we had already grasped the explanation but were amused by the jumping.
Springer's CV included time as a professional soccer player and time at the Government's pleasure. The time incarcerated was due to Lady problems – what could possibly go wrong in the world's largest lady honeypot, Pattaya. Springer was later given a hash name by AIRHEAD as, NOT LONG ENOUGH.
GM took control and called MENTAL DISORDER to the ice. For those that don't know MENTAL DISORDER is a prodigious Facebook poster and with MENSTRUAL DISORDER away, decided to post some of his latest culinary creations. The pictures show MENTAL DISORDER prefers his food to be well cooked – bordering on cremated.
GM gave control to NO MORE CUM. LORD CHICKEN FUCKER and ANTIQUE were called to the ice with the lovely CHERRY BLOSSOM. NO MORE CUM spoke of how he and ANTIQUE hosted LORD CHICKEN FUCKER in England and the eccentricity LORD CHICKEN FUCKER presented.
GM then called ANTIQUE, GI JOE, REAL OLD and LORD CHICKEN FUCKER to the ice – with Remembrance Day in mind those hashers are the closest we have to WWI veterans – with the greatest respect.
GM then called the car-less, NO MORE CUM on ice. NO MORE CUM was then asked to reveal how he became car-less one Sunday, in the not too distant past, on the Nurburgring. Apparently NO MORE CUM made an annual pilgrimage to the Nurburgring, to test his heavily modified spec BMW M3 and to satisfy the need for speed. That heavily modified BMW had just had a 2000 GBP engine upgrade, with the bill yet to be paid. So with only 25% of the high speed lap completed what could possibly go wrong – came in the form of a Porshe GT3. Knowing that 2 cars into the 1 gap doesn't go – both drivers still felt the need to prove the science. Both cars were then valued for scrap metal. One can only assume VV was ignorant to this story, or he would never have given the beloved beer truck keys to NO MORE CUM – to drive in his absence.
GM then gave control to WANK-KING'S WANKER who then proceeded to ice anything that moved. Having satisfied that urge, WANK-KING'S WANKER then proceeded to the give the awards – GING GANG GOOLIE received a shirt for 50 runs and PHANTOM received a 5 hare cap.
LORD CHICKEN FUCKER was then given control icing NO MORE CUM. LORD CHICKEN FUCKER suggested driver training for NO MORE CUM may be money well spent – probably to get ahead of VV's panic phone call when TWO TIME relates the Nurburgring story.
Hares were then respectful requested to sing a song – ANTIQUE obliged and sang of Old King Cole, throwing his balls in the air.
Hash Hymn was then sung.
Total Hashers This Week - 86
Hashers Present Last Week - 60
672 BALL RINGER; 78 BEETROOT HEAD; 453 BELL END; 191 BEN 10; 171 BURL IVES; 137 CAMEL HUMPER; 45 CANNONBALL; 171 CRAPPER; 127 DESERT SCORPION; 163 DIRT LOONEY; 238 DOG LICKS ITS DICK; 55 DREGGS; 582 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 1463 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 11 FLAMINGO BUTT PLUG; 179 FLYING FINN; 173 FUZZY LURE; 705 G.I. JOE; 371 GANGREEN; 841 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 51 GING GANG GOOLIES; 166 GOLDEN RIVET; 36 GOOSEY GOOSEY GOBBLER; 89 HARBOR WHORE; 12 HURTS HER VAGINA; 43 JACK WOW; 771 LADY FLIPPER; 418 LIBERACE; 496 LONE WOLF; 1112 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 197 LOST CAUSE; 99 LOVE BOAT ;96 MAYO QUEEN; 237 MENTAL DISORDER; 170 MISS USE ME; 17 MOHAMMED THE SMILING NORWEGIAN; 255 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 240 NO MORE CUM; 124 PHANTOM ; 101 PINK DOLPHIN; 39 PISS ON IT; 122 POCKET ;SOCKET; 144 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 111 RAT VON KIEL; 18 REAL OLD; 280 SEAL SUCKER; 42 SHE'S THE BOSS; 113 SIMONE EBOLA; 766 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 793 SIR FREE WILLY; 798 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 31 SPEEDO PETE 479 TAMPAX ; 105 TELLY TUBBY; 117 THE WIZARD; 17 TICKLE ME PINK; 262 TWO TIME; 413 VELCRO DICK; 408 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 68 WHORE IN THE WINDOW;
Returners - 17
3 Frankie Annaert; 162 ANTIQUE; 39 BLACK JUSTICE; 7 CHERRY BLOSSOM; 352 DOESN'T TOUCH THE SIDES; 308 GERMAN SHEPHERD; 63 HOI WAN; 208 JACKAL; 268 LORD LUCAN; 152 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 33 PAROU PAROU; 85 PUSSY SNATCHER; 108 RABBIT SHOOTER; 293 REAR GUNNER; 207 STEPTOE; 92 STREET CLEANER; 164 TINY ANAL TORPEDO;
Visitors - 3
1 SALAD TOSSER - Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
9 PSYCHO NEMO - Unknown Hash
13 PSYCHO STRANGLER - Unknown Hssh
Virgins - 6
Richard Aegner; Jurgen Blix; Analisa Blix; Phattharawarin Rammama; Phillip Rossey; Fon Supap;
Leavers - 0
~ none this week ~
Anniversaries - 2
PHANTOM was awarded his 5 Hared Runs Hat.
GING GANG GOOLIES was awarded his 50th Run T-Shirt.
Hash Naming Events - 1
Frankie Anert was given the New Hash Name NOT LONG ENOUGH.
Saints and Sinners - 0
~ none this week ~
Birthdays - 0
~ none this week ~