You think you’ve seen and done most things in Pattaya when you’ve been coming here for 15 years until recently I heard a story from a fellow hasher. A lady visitor to the hash was drinking in a katoy bar with a friend when she asked a katoy, “You still have a cock?”. To which the katoy replied, "Yes". So a trip to boys town followed where they drunk a bottle of whiskey then went back to her place for sex! Now in all my years here I’ve never heard of a katoy going with a women before or am I greener than I think? By the way the katoy stole her mobile phone as well.
Run 1828, the birthday run with BBQ, hares VV and ARSE VAN HOLE born on the same day and with the same father I’m told, as Belgium is so small everyone is related. Five baht buses arrived at a very familiar A site in fact I was there the day before.
The first circle starts and we have 1 virgin today then the hares explain the run. We're told it's on the other side of the road and that the hares lost red paint when laying trail so some checks were half painted blue sticks.
The walkers trail was about 5k and the runners 8k, I think the hares did a good trail considering the area itself is not that great, on trail we passed a few houses one in particular had some sexy women’s underwear hanging on the line, there was also some cattle with one very angry Bull chasing everyone and scaring the shit out of us.
No water this time, as you would have expected on a VV run but plenty of shiggy and thorns to crawl through. And the checks were very well done all the runners came back to the A site within 2 minutes of each other. Good work Hares.
Back the A site we are treated to VV’s famous BBQ until the second circle starts. The hares are iced and everyone agrees it was an excellent run with no complaints. Next is the raffle with tickets being sold today by our very own GM’s good lady wife BURLY CHASSIS. I won a bottle of red, which will be getting smashed this coming election weekend.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and ices the hares VV, ARSE VAN HOLE and TWO TIME. Then NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER and KATOY MAGNET are iced, the crazy guys have been going on a dating website with Ukrainian women! AIRHEAD's convinced it’s a scam to get them over in the Ukraine so their organs can be harvested, not sure they would want a liver from a hasher though.
Next the two birthday boys VV and ARSE VAN HOLE are presented with a birthday cake! Happy birthday lads. Next up on ice is an ex-work colleague and friend of our GM Dino James AKA Casper who gets named BRING OUT THE GIMP!
THE WIZARD takes the circle and ices FLYING FINN who is looking slightly more sober than he did yesterday when he had to be put to bed by CANNONBALL as he could hardly stand up after polishing off two bottles of vodka. FLYING FINN is sponsoring a BBQ for next run as he says there are too many hashers looking anorexic.
Next up is are RA SCAR W/2T'S who ices the hares and GING GANG GOOLIES for sitting in the circle. THE WIZARD gets iced and we hear how he did his training for GM by doing speeches in Buckingham Palace for the Queen. SPEEDO PETE gets Hash Hero for not attending any mismanagement meetings on the Jungle PH3 even tho he’s on the committee.
THE WIZARD takes the circle and ices VV the birthday boy and awards him the Wanker of the Week spoon for leaving the red paint on trail, as we find out it was found by our visiting hasher from Chiang Mai and the tin was leaking paint so it wasn’t lost but discarded by VV.
Finally the Hares song, which is sung by LORD CHICKEN FUCKER who is at this stage looking more pissed than FLYING FINN if that’s at all possible, and he sings a song about Barnacle Bill.
We move on to the On On bar I-Rovers where 40 hashers enjoyed more beer and great food. Looking forward to seeing you all next week as it’s my last run before I go home to join in the riots after our government betrays us over Brexit.
On-On! Stool Mover
Total Hashers This Week - 95
Hashers Present Last Week - 62
4 Siriruk Buathong; 5 Pai Thongthatavechok; 210 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 121 ANAL CHEESE; 106 ARSE VAN HOLE; 80 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 689 BALL RINGER; 5 BRING OUT THE GIMP; 182 BURL IVES; 147 CAMEL HUMPER; 13 CHIP CHIP; 134 DESERT SCORPION; 180 DIRT LOONEY; 1480 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 14 FLAMINGO BUTT PLUG; 197 FLYING FINN; 32 FRENCH KISS; 184 FUZZY LURE; 389 GANGREEN; 66 GING GANG GOOLIES; 50 GOOSEY GOOSEY GOBBLER; 13 HAMBURG WHOREHOUSE; 49 HAPPY SURVIVOR; 27 HURTS HER VAGINA; 57 JACK WOW; 217 JACKAL; 26 KATOY MAGNET; 436 LIBERACE; 1130 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 111 LOVE BOAT; 114 MAYO QUEEN; 185 MISS USE ME; 273 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 255 NO MORE CUM; 432 ODD-JOB; 13 PARISIAN TITI; 312 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 3 PINK TIGER; 31 REAL OLD; 184 REDCOAT; 297 SCAR W/2TS; 506 SERGEANT LONE WOLF; 57 SHE'S THE BOSS; 125 SIMONE EBOLA; 816 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 73 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 36 SMOKEY'S NANNY; 34 SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR; 48 SPEEDO PETE; 29 SPLINTER DICK; 45 STOOL MOVER; 99 STREET CLEANER; 48 SUPERVIRGIN; 497 TAMPAX; 135 THE WIZARD; 236 TURD BURGLAR; 277 TWO TIME; 137 UNSTABLE LOAD; 423 VELCRO DICK; 904 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 425 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 83 WHORE IN THE WINDOW;
Returners - 19
77 ARSE BANDIT; 469 BELL END; 207 BEN 10; 11 BIG LUNGS; 231 BILLION SUCKER; 67 BOB SNOT HERE; 60 CANNONBALL; 115 CASPER; 49 COW FISTER; 722 G.I. JOE; 137 KNOB MARLEY; 522 LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 270 LORD LUCAN; 4 MISS PIGGY; 808 MRS. HEAD; 167 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 946 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 142 SPERM POLLUTER; 12 STUPID SOUR KRAUT;
Visitors - 13
13 Wachiraphon Khansanthia - Angeles City Hash, Philippines
1 KEEP THE CHANGE - Angeles City Hash, Philippines
17 SAMBA LA BAMBA - Angeles City Hash, Philippines
16 LUCAN MADE ME CUM - Bangkok Hash, Thailand
1 BYTE MY YAHOO - Chiang Mai Hash, Thailand
2 DRINKS LIKE A GIRL - Hogtown Hash, Canada
4 BURLY CHASSIS - Lompok H3, Indonesia
17 TV - Pattaya Full Moon H3, Thailand
1 Tar Sawangsuk - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 Ploy Sawangsuk - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 Rob Taylor - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
11 WANKER - Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
6 QUACK WACKER - Songkhla Hash, Thailand
Virgins - 1
Leavers - 1
Anniversaries - 1
GOOSEY GOOSEY GOBBLER was congratulated for 50 PH3 Runs.
Hash Naming Events - 1
Dino James was given the New Hash Name BRING OUT THE GIMP.
Saints and Sinners - 1
VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR - Hash Trash - Left can of leaky spray paint out on the trail.
Birthdays - 2
Happy Birthday ARSE VAN HOLE - 19 March.
Happy Birthday VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR - 19 March.