We arrived at the A site underneath the new road, it was another hot day and the shade provided by the new road was welcomed by all. All sign ups concluded and the GM calls the first circle, the usual protocol ensued, virgins introduced and new shoes christened, namely BROTHERLY LOVE, whose shoes didn't look new but just wanted a beer me thinks.
So, over to the hares, VV, TWO TIME, CHIP CHIP and PARISIAN TITI to provide the chalk talk. They informed the runners of two different trails, one for runners and one for walkers, it was also stated the the run was not too long, (yeah right).
With the chalk talk concluded, the pack was pointed in the right direction and off they went, running blindly into the wilderness. Some 1 hour and 20 minutes later the front runners arrived back at the A site, HARD ON and SPERM POLLUTER looking completely dehydrated and exhausted from the longer than expected run, the lack of shade and the intense heat.
Once everyone arrived back and suitably refreshed the GM announced the second circle, starting as usual with the run opinion, almost all the hashers consulted deemed it to be a good run, bearing in mind the hares have no control of the weather.
So, onto the raffle, (thanks CASPER for selling the tickets). With an array of ridiculously expensive prizes, everyone waited with baited breath to see if they were lucky enough to win.
And the winners are, EMPEROR AIRHEAD, STUPID KRAUT KUNT (after 25 years of corruption he finally wins), TWO TIME, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, SALON QUEEN, UNSTABLE LOAD, STREET CLEANER, MISS USE ME and SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY. Thanks to everyone for supporting the raffle and remember "it's not the winning it's the taking part that matters".
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and ices the hares, he informed everyone that in terms of time, VV has spent approximately 3 years on the ice during his hash career. When he first arrived at the hash he was fit and handsome, an FRB with big guns, unfortunately it was such a long time ago that TWO TIME can't remember, in fact she didn't say much and only communicates with body language.
EA invites Tony to take a seat on the ice, Tony is from Holland, (Dutch, Clogs, Dykes etc), EA reminisced about many years ago when he was younger and went out on a date and said it was a Dutch Treat, meaning both parties pay individually. The real reason for Tony to be iced was for his naming ceremony, a number of names are banded about but he ends up with the slightly unusual name of SISTER FISTER FUCKWIT.
EA invites STUPID KRAUT KUNT to take a seat and informs everyone of how alcohol and sex has fucked him up and that he was once famous in Cambodia, but then again so was Gary Glitter.
Anyway he's off back to his normal job in Berlin, Germany where he's an Assistant Producer for a top TV company. It leads to in interesting story of when Germany won the World Cup and the whole nation were waiting for the TV footage of the triumphant team to step of the plane and up pops SKK in front of thousands of people at the airport and millions watching at home on TV, classic Kai.
The GM regains control of the circle and immediately puts the new named SFF in the bucket for losing the "Wanker of the Week" spoon. (And his phone). However, fear not, there is a new award in the shape of a donkey's head, "The Drunken Donkey", which was quickly bestowed on SFF.
It's time for the awards from WW, VV gets his 180 hared runs shirt and ARSE BANDIT receives 5 hared runs shirt. HAPPY SURVIVOR 50 runs shirt, STREET CLEANER 100 runs shirt, and SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD (as played by RSB) 950 runs.
GM brings in CHIP CHIP, to present her with a birthday cake and express her dedication to the hash cause by laying paper on her birthday. HARD ON and SPERM POLLUTER are iced for no apparent reason and it's time for the Hares song. The hares decline the offer to show us their talents and BURL IVES steps up and gives a rendition of "How the Money Rolls In".
The circle is closing and it time for the final down down beers, CLASSIC, ARSE-HOLEO and LUKE SKYWALKER. Everyone joins in with the Hash Hymn, another successful days hashing and On On to The Buffalo Bar for more Hash shenanigans, and there were, believe me.
On-On! Sperm Polluter
Total Hashers This Week - 78
Hashers Present Last Week - 57
4 Marcel Blok; 2 Alex Bruenner; 2 Kevin Bruenner; 2 Jajah; 4 Cake Kuemanit; 2 Chirawadi Waree; 83 ARSE BANDIT; 112 ARSE VAN HOLE; 312 ARSE-HOLEO; 162 BENGT POTATO; 4 BROTHERLY LOVE; 188 BURL IVES; 119 CASPER; 18 CHIP CHIP; 13 CLASSIC; 186 DIRT LOONEY; 1486 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 4 FAKINIT; 38 FRENCH KISS; 728 G.I. JOE; 188 GOLDEN RIVET; 54 HAPPY SURVIVOR; 11 HARD ON; 165 HONEY BEAR; 5 KAPTAIN KORRUPTION; 527 LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 442 LIBERACE; 219 LOST CAUSE; 3 LUKE SKYWALKER; 10 MADAM SIN; 119 MAYO QUEEN; 191 MISS USE ME; 812 MRS. HEAD; 6 NOT LONG ENOUGH; 434 ODD-JOB; 18 PARISIAN TITI; 59 POL DANCER; 298 REAR GUNNER; 11 SAUSAGE HEAD; 510 SGT LONE WOLF; 61 SHE'S THE BOSS; 783 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 950 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 6 SISTER FISTER FUCKWIT; 79 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 40 SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR; 146 SPERM POLLUTER; 253 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 18 STUPID SOUR KRAUT; 141 THE WIZARD; 242 TURD BURGLAR; 282 TWO TIME; 143 UNSTABLE LOAD; 429 VELCRO DICK; 910 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 431 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 89 WHORE IN THE WINDOW;
Returners - 15
6 Siriruk Buathong; 68 BOB SNOT HERE; 58 CIA; 600 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 78 HOI WAN; 219 JACKAL; 271 LORD LUCAN; 275 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 105 NEXT WEEK; 139 PHANTOM; 226 RUBBER DICK; 817 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 37 SMOKEY'S NANNY; 101 STREET CLEANER; 123 TELLY TUBBY;
Visitors - 4
10 SALON QUEEN - Unknown Hash
17 LUCAN MADE ME CUM - Bangkok Hash, Thailand
1 DOG RUSTLE - Wanchai Hash, Hong Kong
1 YA YA - Wanchai Hash, Hong Kong
Virgins - 2
Sirikon Kongsri; First Pakjira;
Leavers - 2
ARSE-HOLEO; STUPID KRAUT KUNT;
Anniversaries - 5
VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR was awarded a 180 Hared Runs T-Shirt.
ARSE BANDIT was awarded a 5 Hared Runs T-Shirt.
SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD was congratulated for 950 PH3 Runs.
STREET CLEANER was awarded a 100th Run T-Shirt.
HAPPY SURVIVOR was awarded a 50th Run T-Shirt.
Hash Naming Events - 1
Tonny van der Most was given the New Hash Name SISTER FISTER FUCKWIT.
Saints and Sinners - 1
SISTER FISTER FUCKWIT - Drunken Donkey Award - Lost his phone second week in a row and the Wanker spoon.
Birthdays - 1
Happy Birthday CHIP CHIP - 28 April.