Scotch on the Rocks or the English translation Cocks in Frocks. What a scary sight it would have been for any virgin hasher to have turned up and seen three guys wearing dresses and toilet paper tied around their stomachs. When I first looked they all had the same bonnet and coloured hair that I thought that must be brothers but then looking at the kilt I noticed they all wore different colours which made them different clans. But I still think they may have all still had the same Mother.
Like any true Scotsman they never wore anything under their kilt and girls believe me it was a scary site. In fact is was a GRUESOME sight and I was told that if you touched it IT GREW SOME MORE.
Horrible sight they made but what a great run they set. Terrific A site and lots of shade on the run and walk. But then on our return there was free stitch, watermelon, wine, free food. jelly shots and shortcrust biscuits. Whoever says that Scotsmen have short arms and deep pockets don't know our hares RSB, DIRT LOONEY and ANDY WHOREHOLE. Still need to clarify how do I answer when asked do you want a one or two finger nip? Thought they where getting personal for a moment.
Circle time is called and first on the ice is G I JOE and GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER who was given the new title of Hash Crash. Believed he fell over not once but twice. Maybe he knew something about the free stitch at the end of the run and was eager to get there. Then it's the hares on in great comments around the circle about the run and walk also about the food and booze. Even the Beer Hunters commented that the bar was close enough. And as the hares got off the ice they showed everyone that YES they don't wear anything under the kilt. YUK
Raffles was done by LOST CAUSE and of course I didn't win again I am sure they always sell me last week's tickets that how close I get. Then the hares had another raffle and that was all for booze which was won by three Harriettes. Bet they got lucky last night when they gave the booze to their husbands / partners.
AIRHEAD then has the circle and ices the hares who are joined on the ice by the Belgians in their version of a kilt. AIRHEAD gives us the story on how the SOTR run started years ago by a normal KIDNEY WIPER back then who used to chase pussy and drink beer. Asked if there were any survivors from SOTR first run KIDNEY WIPER says no they are all dead.
Then the story goes on about KIDNEY WIPER joining a Russian ship where you had to buy your own food but the Vodka was free. KIDNEY WIPER reckons he would still have been working on that ship even today just for the vodka. He was also presented with a slab of engraved wood which he thought was a lot better than the many plastic shit house seats that he used to get years ago.
The Belgians talk about having the kilts made. UNSTABLE LOAD was reportably wearing lipstick and when asked why he replies trying to get in the mood. What MOOD was he trying for I must ask.
ARSE BANDIT is then iced but says that's ok cos my boyfriend MADAM SIN likes something cold at night. Sounds like she likes more than that after reportably seen driving home on a motorbike in nothing but her underwear as reportably she had pissed in her dress. BARNACLE BOLLOX who was sitting beside me got all excited and asked if he could see the wet dress.
WANK-KING'S WANKER has the circle for awards but as there was none he iced SGT LONE WOLF and LINEAR ACCELERATOR for talking.
GM has the circle back and asked for all 69 year olds to sit on ice. I thought 69 position could become interesting. GANGREEN tells me to use the word Quigenics, now I don't even know what that means or if it is spelt wrong either way blame him. It was called because you are allowed to sit in the circle when you are 70 and BOB SNOT HERE wanted to donate his chair to the next over the hill bunch. When the chair is STORED for later use BARNACLE BOLLOX tries to swap his broken chair with the new one but is seen. Not punished but seen. Maybe next weeks first icing charge.
Hares are asked again and talk about their schooling which by then I was on about my fourth beer so stopped taking notes. I know they sang Sokanu for the hash song.
KIDNEY WIPER gets another present and that is a tin of haggis and he said what you do was put the tin in the microwave for 40 minutes then throw the haggis away and eat the tin. Sounds delicious.
We then do the hash song. Clean up, grab a beer for the baht bus and head back into town. Another great Monday Hash. Well done hares, committee and all the others who assisted. And a special thanks to SGT LONE WOLF who tells me he is the best photographer on the Monday Hash.
Total Hashers This Week - 67
Hashers Present Last Week - 41
115 ARSE VAN HOLE; 697 BALL RINGER; 192 BARNACLE BOLLOX; 475 BELL END; 165 BENGT POTATO; 64 BOB-A-GOB; 189 DIRT LOONEY; 1489 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 41 FRENCH KISS; 731 G.I. JOE; 396 GANGREEN; 70 GING GANG GOOLIES; 191 GOLDEN RIVET; 14 HARD ON; 81 HOI WAN; 27 HOT GOB; 75 IRREGULAR PERIOD; 445 LIBERACE; 152 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 222 LOST CAUSE; 122 MAYO QUEEN; 40 MR POTATO HEAD; 278 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 108 NEXT WEEK; 142 PHANTOM; 118 PINK DOLPHIN; 41 PISS ON IT; 14 SAUSAGE HEAD; 512 SGT LONE WOLF; 64 SHE'S THE BOSS; 786 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 820 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 43 SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR; 73 SPANKINSTEIN; 51 SPEEDO PETE; 144 THE WIZARD; 284 TWO TIME; 146 UNSTABLE LOAD; 432 VELCRO DICK; 913 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 434 WANK-KING'S WANKER;
Returners - 19
7 Siriruk Buathong; 15 ANDY WHOREHOLE; 84 ARSE BANDIT; 119 B. B.; 100 BANANAS; 69 BOB SNOT HERE; 190 BURL IVES; 64 CANNONBALL; 141 DEL BOY; 853 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 529 LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 273 LORD LUCAN; 193 MISS USE ME;34 MOTHER'S FINEST; 814 MRS. HEAD; 162 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 284 SEAL SUCKER; 952 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 125 TELLY TUBBY;
Visitors - 7
12 SALON QUEEN - Unknown Hash
19 LUCAN MADE ME CUM - Bangkok Hash, Thailand
6 FUCK ALL - Gold Coast Hash, Australia
13 PIG STICK - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
14 TICK TOCK - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
16 PATPOM - Siam Sunday H3
16 SNAKE BITE - Siam Sunday H3
Virgins - 0
~ none this week ~
Leavers - 2
NEXT WEEK; VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR;
Anniversaries - 3
DIRT LOONEY congratulated for 5 Hared Runs.
BANANAS achieved 100 PH3 Runs. Apologies for missing the announcement
we will correct next week.
Hash Naming Events - 0
~ none this week ~
Saints and Sinners - 3
G.I. JOE - Hash Crash removed.
GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER - Hash Crash - Went down twice on the trail.
GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER = Hash Hero - Awarded a plaque commemorating his many years of service to PH3.
Birthdays - 0
~ none this week ~