PH3 Run 1849 Scribe
Show Scribe Report by Sperm Polluter
Welcome to the PH3 run #1849, despite the steady flow of rain in the city it turned out to be a dry day at the A site. With only two Baht Buses numbers were considerably down this week probably due to the threat of rain during the run.
The hares had discovered a new A site, although we have been in that particular area many times it was the first time to use this A site, which turned out to be the local village football field.
So the GM calls the first circle, the usual paraphernalia took place including the introduction of three virgins. No new shoes were discovered so the hares were brought in to inform everyone about the run, 3rd time lucky.
We were reliably informed that the run would be 7.5k and a 4K walk. So off we trotted into the wilderness for another PH3 adventure. It started off reasonably well, but that didn't last long, a little bit confusing and the GM didn't help matters when he called "On On", leading the pack on a wild goose chase into the trees, and then says, "Oops, sorry, false call".
Seemingly we missed a turn and ended up on a track without any sign of paper, only a swarm of bees/ wasps or some kind of stingy things that proceeded to attack SPERM POLLUTER.
Finally somebody calls on on and we are back on trail, heading up into the hills. Luckily didn't last very long because there was a back check halfway up, and a rather large and angry Scorpion.
At least the hares were keeping the pack together, except for three intrepid runners who had found their way to the top of the hill, and calling "On On". The pack could see and hear them and started their way up the steep incline. Little did they know that it was a cunning and devious trick because halfway up there was a back check, let's just say they were not amused. It turned out to be the fault of SIP BAHT and TAMPAX, with SPERM POLLUTER having no part in it.
Anyway we all arrived back at the A-site, having only clocked less than 5k. HARD ON arrived about 20 minutes after everyone else, it seems that he was the only one to find true trial, but no body had followed him, which made him feel uneasy and frightened, so he decided to turn around and go back the way he had come because he said it was starting to get dark and he didn't want to be left out all on his own, even though there was at least two hours daylight left.
GM called the second circle and promptly ices the hares, SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR, PARISIAN TITI, FRENCH KISS and CHIP CHIP. The hares got the thumbs up from the Hashers, a good effort, a new A site and a nice bit of cheese, thank you.
Raffle time, and the winners are - TWO TIME, CASPER, ARSE VAN HOLE (2), LOST CAUSE, SPEEDO PETE and the Thai lady Virgin.
SPEEDO PETE is leaving to go back to the UK, and he's trying to sell his motorcycle in the circle, he is iced and thanked for his contribution to the PH3 over the years, he's a good hasher and all round nice guy, Good Luck SPEEDO.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD brings the virgins in to be introduced, although one of them is shy and hides behind PC PORN. GM asks EA to take a seat on the ice, he's going back on his annual visit to America, so he's presented with a 1500 run certificate (a great achievement) and also a Survivor shirt.
SPEEDO is iced again and he gets a rendition of FOYC, because it's his last run. EA ices the hares, he's impressed with the HHH signs stuck on the blue PVC pipe, he does love a good sign.
SPEEDO is iced again, EA informed him that London has huge Thai population with young full breasted and innocent Thai ladies, he tells him he should marry a rich bitch and bring her back to Thailand and he can buy his motorbike back.
SIR WANDA and LCFkr are iced and EA tells everyone how these 2 hashers pioneered Soi 6 back in the good old days and that they should have a plaque on the wall in their honour.
WKW takes the circle and invites BURL IVES to join him on reaching 200 runs, SPERM POLLUTER also joins the circle having achieved 150 runs.
The GM iced WKW because he's achieved the ripe old age of 70 years young, LOST CAUSE brings in the birthday cake and we all sing Hashy Birthday FU, he also receives a certificate from the GM.
LCFkr takes over the circle and asks everyone to hum while he gets himself a beverage. He then ices TAMPAX for being a wanker, ANTIQUE, GI JOE and BANANAS are iced because they are old and look like they might die soon.
SIR WANDA takes a seat on the ice and LCFkr gives a little bit of history, it turns our SW had to go back to the UK, much to the delight of the Phuket male Hashers because while they're out hashing SW was popping around and banging all their wives and girlfriends.
LCFkr ices himself and tells a story full of the kind of deviation that cannot be published here, he's crazy.
The GM takes the circle because it's time for The Wanker of the Week Spoon. PC PORN, BEETROOT HEAD, PARISIAN TITI and BANANAS are all iced. It turns out BANANAS wife sold his MTB and cut up all his hash shirts, it's a tough decision but UNSTABLE LOAD keeps it because he can't remember to wear it in the circle.
It's getting towards the end of the night and it's time for the hares to sing us a song but they're not very good singers, so LCFkr sings his rendition of the famous U2 song, "Where the Sheep have no Name".
Ok, it's the final down downs followed by the Hash Hymn, and a great day had by all. Thanks to everyone who participated. Back to the On On bar, the Buffalo Bar, where the entertainment continued, thank you CASPER, you have the voice of an Angel, and thank you SPERM POLLUTER, don't give up your day job.
On-On! Sperm Polluter