Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1854 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Sauce for the Goose

Welcome to Run 1854 and a new A-Site past the Shell Station on Hwy 36 and at a busy crossroad. GING GANG GOOLIES jumped out the way and removed his chair just in time before an enormous truck nearly crushed him. Several songtaews with workers finishing work for the day passed by and were puzzled by the motley collection of people hanging about in the country side.

The hares today were meant to be UNSTABLE LOAD and family but his family had better things to do in Koh Samui so ARSE VAN HOLE ably stepped in to help out. LIBERACE asked the hares for their receipts for the fruit and crisps and oops, they forgot to buy any but a quick trip by motorcycle to the Shell station for crisps saved the day. Shame about the fruit.

GM calls first circle and welcomes the virgin, Des Campbell from N. Ireland, a mate of BOB-A-GOB’s. There are several new shoes including MADAM SIN and ARSE BANDIT with his shoes claimed on last week’s hash. The hares explain the run and explain there are two walker/runner splits. The first part was on a nice wide path. After the first split the runners soon overtook the walkers with DEL BOY and HARD ON in the lead. Soon after visitor BOLLYWOOD passed us with SPERM POLLUTER right behind keeping a very close watch on her.

UNSTABLE LOAD was waiting near the A-site with the cars clearly in view but no, it was not the end of the run but a right hand turn and then another walker split. Some took the easy option and headed for the cars. SEAL SUCKER, who was Hash Flash for the day stopped to take pictures of the lovely scenery and then decided to join the walkers. The runner split went up a hill which was known to some hashers so they too decided to do a short cut. I think LIBERACE was one of the few to do the hill as he walked in on the on-in trail. HARD ON was the first real runner back. The Beer Hunters, all ten of them, missed out on a bit of drinking time as they arrived back ten minutes after the first runner.

Second circle is called and SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE and BOLLYWOOD are iced for Hash Trash. I think the GM has a fetish for glasses as he found two pairs and then another pair later in the circle claimed by the virgin.

GM puts hares on the ice and asks the circle for thoughts on the run. Paper was good and terrain was varied but having a split so close to the A-site made it too tempting for some to short cut back.

Raffle time and the lucky winners are IRREGULAR PERIOD - rice cooker, MR POTATO HEAD - cooking pans, Parichat - gin, UNSTABLE LOAD - wine, FRENCH KISS - biscuits, GI JOE - toffees and this time the correct number, LOST CAUSE - waterproof bag.

Now for the awards and WANK-KING'S WANKER seems to have his act sorted out tonight with only two awards, SEAL SUCKER and TWO TIME, both congratulated for 300 runs.

GM’s circle again and STEPTOE is on the ice for Hash Crash. SPERM
POLLUTER takes over and ices CANNONBALL for being too vocal, LIBERACE for taking care of the hash money and a visitor, WORLD WIDE WHORE from Tokyo Samurai Hash, for throwing the back check sticks on the ground and not knowing what to do with them. Hares put in the bucket for not explaining to visitors beforehand what to do with them.

BOB-A-GOB and the virgin on ice. BOB-A-GOB had not explained hash protocol to his visitor so had to demonstrate showing skin from the bucket. The virgin was wearing a hash shirt though, kindly lent by BURL IVES so he was on the ice for his efforts. Des did enjoy the hash and said it was the most pleasurable few hours he had spent in Pattaya. Wonder where he’s been hiding in Pattaya?

GM’s circle again and it’s his Wanker of the Week award time. Contenders are present holder, BOB -A-GOB, and REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD and IRREGULAR PERIOD for showing disrespect by turning their back on the circle last week and not singing the Hash Hymn and the winner is IRREGULAR PERIOD much to RSB’s relief.

Dutch are put on the ice, WHORE IN THE WINDOW, back from drinking in Holland and newcomer, Gerardus, who would like a hash name but after lots of questions from the GM about his work which is 42 years of scientific research he decided we already have the name, BORING CUNT, so his naming will have to wait till EMPEROR AIRHEAD’s return.

ARSE BANDIT and MADAM SIN are iced. They have been together for some time now but AB has been away for three months. He is still John No 1. GM asks MADAM SIN about the car she has, a white Chevrolet. This is all news to ARSE BANDIT but he can’t borrow it to do haring cos he’s too drunk. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Don’t worry ARSE BANDIT, she promised it to SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE later in the on-on Bar after showing her tits.

TUNNEL OF LOVE, the visiting GM from the Samurai Hash in Tokyo takes the circle and gives our GM a down down and a patch. Seems our former GM met them last year at the Japanese Nash Hash and gave her some Pattaya H3 socks. She then teaches us a Japanese hash song, "Oppai Kudasai", which means, show us your boobs please. Appropriately her nine month old daughter who has been hashing since in the womb is called Dome Oppai - give me boobs.

The hares sing us a song “What Shall We Do with a Drunken Hasher” which is a notch up on their blue, blue rendition. Final down down is had by Gerardus, TURD BURGLAR, PHANTOM, HARD ON, TRY-A-FUCK, the visitors and Hash Hymn is led by BALL RINGER and BEN 10.

Then it’s off to The I-Rovers for more drinking and fun. Another fun evening with the PH3. Thank you guys.

On-On!  Sauce for the Goose

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