Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1865 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Alice

A most convivial ride out chatting to good company then the busman floored the pedal in the fast lane before the U turn. That got the heart racing. The A site was on the roadside but fairly remote and we were unmolested for the duration. Well, unmolested if you disqualify ARSE-HOLEO and WANK-KING’S WANKER. SCAR W2T’S fessed up to new shoes which were sandals so old the sole flapped as THE WIZARD pointed out.

BUM BOY gave the hare brief and off we went into the palm trees as the hare suddenly remembered about checks and back checks, but we were away following a stream bed. It was shaded, flat and decent running, which could be said for most of this great run.

Crossing a small stream I had LOVE BOAT and BALL RINGER in front of me and Hash Flash SAUSAGE HEAD was around and about for much of the first half.

Through the trees and suddenly no paper, then strips went left but runners ahead were straight but silent. Another back check I didn’t notice - those blasted blue sticks! As we came into a forest area all confusion broke loose. Runners. Walkers. A steep downhill section. Paper both ways.

DEL BOY, usually so quick to read trail, was off in best Freddie Mercury mode, head down, arse up, fists pumping. Only trouble was he was running the walkers’ trail backwards until the penny dropped.

At the paper both ways I went right, mostly to avoid BB’s stentorian comments. After a few hundred meters I realized we were ON and ran with TOM BOY, MOTHER MAY I, THE WIZARD, the Belgium guy in red shirt and naff mullet thingy and BEETROOT HEAD. Through sparse forest and rubber trees then out to an open check.

On-on was called straight but I’d gone right so I tried to be clever and managed to get through young tapioca to rejoin trail just ahead of a few FRBs.

Some more forest and palms and walkers were now converging from the left, including a sheepish LOVE BOAT who mumbled something about taking the shorter route in error. I had 7.32 km in 56 enjoyable minutes and it was time to circle up after a yummy VV cheese roll.

GANGREEN got Wanker of the Week for being a 2 beer thief but it seems the 1 beer rule isn’t taken seriously by some. The icings followed thick and fast. SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC for leaving red spray can in forest; EMPEROR AIRHEAD for claiming a lost blue PH3 cap.

The raffle saw MAYO QUEEN win Viagra, LIBERACE an orange gorilla and FCUK OFF a nice bottle of Vodka amongst others.

The EMPEROR noted the moon, Jupiter and Venus aligned and I was tempted to shout out something stupid about Uranus but there were a couple shouting enough stupid comments already. Cookie was re-named COOKIE MONSTER and WKW splashed SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC for his 20th hare. RSB sang "Two Little Queers" and FLAMINGO BUTTPLUG threw WKW’s fag away.

SCAR W2T’S was wrecked and got Morgan Freeman and Marty Feldman confused in his attempt to splash DIRT LOONEY for peripheral vision in Nana Plaza! KNICKERLESS said Chang makes her happy and ARSE-HOLEO had plenty to say but most of it unintelligible.

GI JOE punished MOTHER MAY I from Bahrain for his little girl’s laugh and got SPERM POLLUTER to retell his romantic proposal story including a taxi man about include rape for a girl’s THB 1000 all in fare to U-Tapao.

BELL END was honoured for 500 runs, FCUK OFF for coming out ahead in his US divorce, SHE’S THE BOSS for trying Indian Viagra and LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS for his welcoming committee.

LORD CHICKEN FCUKER told Xmas tall tales and iced BALL RINGER, BB and NO MORE CUM for being a turkey, a fattened turkey and a homo fireman with WORE-SORE-MORE now home for Xmas stuffing. His version of "Another Brick In The Wall" had the line ‘Hey Gangreen, leave them kids alone!’ Which strangely GANGREEN enjoyed singing.

BALL RINGER and BEN 10 led the Hash Hymn before RSB got outed by management for repeat visits to the cooler for roadies. Simple rule: Enjoy your circle beer and ONE for the road.

Superb OnOnOn at Nicky’s with a tasty buffet in relaxed ambience. Hashing don’t get much better. Thank you PH3 hares and committee for two super runs and circles during my 10 days here.

On-On!  Alice

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