Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1872 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Arse Bandit


We opened the circle with WHORE IN THE WINDOW Hash Crash. He fell over in front of the GM. The virgin spilt beer so he got iced for beer abuse.

Hares SMOKEY TRUCKY FUC*Y, ARSE VAN HOLE and UNSTABLE LOAD iced while we discussed the trail. Why were there no checks after 5 km?
And an extra hazard, a dead dog. I never saw it as I was needed to make the numbers up on the Beer Hunters bus.

NOT THE 9 O'CLOCK NEWS suggested the run was as flat as a run in Belgium. So generally it was a good run and nobody got lost (P*****A SM****). "I didn't get lost yesterday, I like walking 5 extra kms. ...in the dark."

DICK IN THE DYKE who was a Beer Hunter with me got iced and received a prize..... a phone he'd left on the baht bus....

Okay, Raffle time. Despite improving my chances of winning by actually buying a ticket it was not to be. The winners were STEPTOE (holiday for 2 in Bali), NICE BUT DIM who got named by NO MORE CUM later on (new Honda PCX white), LEG OVER (2 bed bungalow in the darkside), LOVE BOAT (romantic night out with Brad Pitt), SMOKEY TRUCKY F***Y (romantic night out with Tom Cruise), NO MORE CUM, SPASTIC WHORE KING, DIRTY DOG and VV (a romantic night out with each other).

DEL BOY, SPERM POLLUTER and DIRT LOONEY iced for scouting the trails at Khao Mai Keao for hash paper and rubbish (trash) before the official clean up day, last Saturday. "No good deed goes unpunished!"

ARSE VAN HOLE got awarded a 20 hares (shirt or badge or romantic night out with any catholic priest of his choosing).

Hashy birthday to BALL RINGER 71 and UNSTABLE LOAD 70 today who received a present (a romantic night out in soi 6/1). UNSTABLE LOAD also told the circle his other prezzy was a tandem parachute jump. Wow!

LORD CHICKEN F***ER expressed an obituary for his mate T4 aka Brown Card Ken who died in a m/c incident 10 years ago.

NO MORE CUM iced VELCRO DICK, CANNONBALL, GO SLOW and SPLINTER DICK for having something in common. I don't know what it could be; I didn't catch the answer. Something like who ate all the pies?

Tim from Torquay said to me after I asked him what hash name would he like? "Anything really. Well, anything except NICE BUT DIM." It was rubbing my hands with excitement. It was too much to keep to myself. I had to tell a responsible adult but being on the hash at the time I had to make do with NO MORE CUM. 'Nuff said.

SCARLET PIMPERNEL and HARD ON, the only Aussie frb's were iced for not being frb's. HARD ON had a bad foot and SP I didn't hear his pathetic excuse. Sorry, I mean reason.

Nomination for Wanker of the Week. CANNONBALL along with HARD ON and REAL OLD both for ringing phones in the circle. On the who gets the loudest cheer gets the wooden spoon rule, HARD ON just got it.

The Saturday clean up had over 30 people turn up but some said they were coming but didn't. All were harriettes well sort of, PENELOPE PITSTOP, HAPPY SURVIVOR (in her absence SHE'S THE BOSS) and KNICKERLESS iced.

LORD CHICKEN *UCKER iced DIARRHEA, WINDOW WANKER, GOLDEN RIVET and LOVE BOAT but I couldn't work out why except that they hadn't been on the ice. I was half-cut by then... Then, PARISIAN TITI and CHIP CHIP were iced and asked about their sexual preferences. Apparently three-somes was mentioned, whereupon i said incest is best (CHIP CHIP's sister is my partner MADAM SIN) and I ended up in the bucket.

We called on the hares to sing us a song when ARSE BANDIT sang a wonderful adaptation of "We Are the World", So wonderful was it that tears formed in hardened hashers eyes. So wonderful that the last verse never got sang as too much wonderfulness would spoil the circle.

Final down-downs BEN 10, BALL RINGER, CAPTAIN CONDOM, GO SLOW (from Hobart) DIRTY DOG , NO MORE CUM and BOB-A-GOB sang us 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' to close the hash.

On-On!  Arse Bandit


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