Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1877
Thai-French Connection Memorial Run
Monday, February 24th 2020

Hares:
VV, SKBC, Parisian Titi, Mr Waldorf, French Kiss, Street Cleaner, Two Time, Chip Chip, Dirty Pussy
Map to Run 1877 A-Site
Scribe:   Shithead
Hash Flash:   Sausage Head, Sgt Lone Wolf
Runners:   98
On-On Bar:  Nicky's Bar
GPS:   12°59'54.03"N   100°58'14.69"E
Download Google Earth .kmz fileHighway 3240 - 7.6 km NW on Santi Kham Road
happy-sausage-120Hares:
VV, SKBC, Parisian Titi, Mr Waldorf, French Kiss, Street Cleaner, Two Time, Chip Chip, Dirty Pussy
Scribe:   Shithead
Hash Flash:   Sausage Head, Sgt Lone Wolf
Runners:   98
On-On Bar:  Nicky's Bar
GPS:   12°59'54.03"N   100°58'14.69"E
Map to Run 1877 A-Site
Highway 3240 - 7.6 km NW on Santi Kham Road
Download Google Earth .kmz file

80 Run Photos This Week

Show the Thumbnails

Show Scribe Report by Shithead


First some news, PHANTOM and KNICKERLESS were injured after coming off a motorcycle on Pratumnak hill. He reportedly suffered a dislocated hip. Wishing them a speedy recovery. The beach social event scheduled for 11 March will go ahead later on 18 March.

Run site dusty and featureless. Two virgins Mark and Fabien. Mark impressed by making his first hash utterance, that he is from London, a fucking lie, that was instantly nailed by the GM, who happens to be his brother-in-law. Hard to fathom the stupidity of this attempt to deceive!

Set off and after a few hundred metres came upon a very big crater with steep sides that claimed a number of casualties. Reminded me somewhat of the Ngorongo Crater in Tanzania, only much smaller, not beautiful, full of rubbish and the only discernible wildlife a motley crew of hashers making their way across the depression.

Fell in with a bunch of laggards including POLE FUCKER, ANFI and surprisingly STEPTOE. LORD CHICKEN FUCKER regaled us with a tale of his epic journey just to get to the hash. Wasn’t paying a lot of attention but he definitely said “fucking crocodile farm” at least 5 times. Heard too about Indonesians burning salt to make it rain. Usual bullshit.

Back to the on in, just as the front runners were arriving. Well timed! Beer’s on! Also wine, cheese and bikkies. Thanks to the hares.

GM’s circle. Hares on ice, all 7 of ‘em, though only 3 set the trail, VV being the main dude. French theme, all hares being from the hexagon, or thereabouts. Souvenir red t-shirt which looked pretty good. Still a few left if you want one.

Trail abusers who struck the trail with body parts other than the soles of their feet named, GI JOE, MAYO QUEEN and HANGING DICK. Down downs despite GI JOE's garbled and implausible self-justification.

Anyone lost some specs? What’s the correction? HARD ON was the careless owner and went to the bucket. REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD gave a note so unmusical he was put on ice. Why not enough berets for the hares? Who knows?

How was the run? ARSE BANDIT - varied carbon and dust. HAPPY SURVIVOR - no sweat! DIRT LOONEY - nice sticks and homogeneous. FUCK OFF liked the carbon slide. HARD ON reportedly sooted himself up to become an African and double his dick size. Hope that worked out!

HARD ON, not looking very African, called the raffle. HANGING DICK won coffee, ANFI won wine, SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY whisky, 'generic but gorgeous' Thai girl wine. At this point DIRTY PUSSY, a loser if ever I saw one, pretended to be a winner by confidently producing a non-winning ticket. On the ice! Other actual winners newcomer Mark, HAPPY SURVIVOR and PAPRIKA SMILEY. WANK-KING’S WANKER got the travel pillow, if you call that winning.

EMPEROR AIRHEAD's circle, hares iced, interrogated re nationality. Virgins introduced. John Johansson, no relation nor sadly resemblance to the gorgeous Scarlett, named WOMB BROOM on account of his superb handlebar moustache.

WANK-KING’S WANKER, your circle! He lurched into the limelight clutching a beer and proceeded to hugely entertain... himself! How many beers he’d had before the one in his mitt shall forever remain unknown, but let’s agree it wasn’t his first. Put 3 Frenchmen on ice for “doing 5 runs”. At this SCAR W/2T'S took a break from his enforcement duties to inform your scribbler that the buttock-cooling surrender monkeys were there for not merely doing but actually haring 5 runs. The Norwegian’s obsession with accuracy would in any other context be admirable, but this is the hash! So the ill-informed utterance of an inebriate trumps “the facts” every time. Congrats to the three, FRENCH KISS, PARISIAN TITI and DIRTY PUSSY for “doing” (whatever that means) the 5 runs.
CASPER 150 runs and FLYING FINN 200 runs.

GM puts offenders on ice. WANK-KING’S WANKER for sins too grievous and numerous to mention but mainly for scheduling the weekly Pattaya H3 run on a Tuesday. ANAL CHEESE for getting lost and scrounging a lift home with DEL BOY. BIG STICK for describing his relationship to a female companion as “like a sister” despite obvious differences in age and ethnicity. NO MORE CUM wearing Wanker of the Week spoon, supposedly mailed in from Canada if my illegible notes are to be believed. New Wanker of the Week - WANK-KING’S WANKER! Fucking Yankee according to SPERM POLLUTER.

NO MORE CUM’s circle. ANAL CHEESE, FLYING FINN and GANGREEN on ice! These fat cunts had caused a baht bus seat to collapse. Other offenders punished included DINGO ATE MY BABY, ROGER THE SICK PRICK, ATOMIC MUFF DIVER and DIRTY PUSSY.

Back to the GM. Visitor from Russia, Anastasia from Sakhalin Island, introduced. “Are you here to check out new boyfriends?” “Yes”.

Long rant from LORD CHICKEN FUCKER about the Koala virus. Evidently he contracted it while engaging in practical research for a new verse of the timeless classic, Beastiality’s Best Boys. We wish him a speedy recovery.

Sign off song "Fuck the Giant Penis" (to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon").

On on to Nicky’s Bar, more beers and good food.

On-On!  Shithead


Show Run 1877 Stats Report

Total Hashers This Week - 98

Hashers Present Last Week - 72

2 Sean Coughlan; 4 Tar Sawangsuk; 4 Rob Taylor; 224 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 127 ANAL CHEESE; 109 ARSE BANDIT; 151 ARSE VAN HOLE; 736 BALL RINGER; 115 BEETROOT HEAD; 508 BELL END; 236 BEN 10; 183 BENGT POTATO; 19 BIG STICK; 226 BURL IVES; 102 CANNONBALL; 150 CASPER; 255 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 52 CHIP CHIP; 7 CROOKED CUNT; 169 DEL BOY; 229 DIRT LOONEY; 637 DUCHESS TADPOLE; 1519 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 43 FLATULENCE; 200 FLYING FINN; 80 FRENCH KISS; 14 FUCK OFF; 201 FUZZY LURE; 767 G.I. JOE; 435 GANGREEN; 229 GOLDEN RIVET; 2 HANGING DICK; 87 HAPPY SURVIVOR; 46 HARD ON; 564 LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 485 LIBERACE; 9 LIMP DICK; 1173 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 260 LOST CAUSE; 131 LOVE BOAT; 153 MAYO QUEEN; 229 MISS USE ME; 313 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 277 NO MORE CUM; 449 ODD-JOB; 185 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 52 PARISIAN TITI; 41 PAROU PAROU; 81 POLE FUCKER; 38 POSTMAN LICKS TWICE; 42 REAL OLD; 51 SAUSAGE HEAD; 102 SHE'S THE BOSS; 25 SHITHEAD; 860 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 95 SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY; 51 SMOKEY'S NANNY; 82 SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR; 29 SPASTIC WHORE KING; 178 SPERM POLLUTER; 239 STEPTOE; 110 STREET CLEANER; 18 TEASPOON; 157 TELLY TUBBY; 184 THE WIZARD; 247 TOM BOY; 183 UNSTABLE LOAD; 460 VELCRO DICK; 952 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 474 WANK-KING'S WANKER; 114 WHORE IN THE WINDOW; 5 WOMB BROOM;

Returners - 15

2 Simon Anton; 4 Thore-dag Telnes; 36 ATOMIC MUFF DIVER; 191 BUM BOY; 56 CHEESE DICK; 16 COLD ASS; 87 DIRTY PUSSY; 67 PSYCHODELIC; 31 ROGER THE SICK PRICK; 315 SCAR W/2TS; 534 SGT LONE WOLF; 7 SICILIAN SISSY; 178 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 318 TWO TIME; 25 VEE GO;

Visitors - 6

1 Ryan Green - Bali Hash, Indonesia
8 BURLEY CHASSIS - Lompok H3, Indonesia
1 WHISPERING THUMB - Nairobi Hash, Kenya
4 BLOW CANADA - Okinawa Hash, Japan
1 Peenet Thiphan - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
3 SHIT LIPS - Phuket Hash, Thailand

Virgins - 5

Fabien Dessertenne; Anastasia Gutnikovna; Mark Harris; Dennis Proctor; Alisa Thongam;

Leavers - 0

~ none this week ~

Anniversaries - 5

DIRTY PUSSY was congratulated for 5 Hared Runs.
FRENCH KISS was congratulated for 5 Hared Runs.
PARISIAN TITI was congratulated for 5 Hared Runs.
FLYING FINN was congratulated for 200 PH3 Runs.
CASPER was congratulated for 150 PH3 Runs.

Hash Naming Events - 1

John Johansen was given the New Hash Name WOMB BROOM.

Saints and Sinners - 5

ANAL CHEESE - Hash Trash
G.I. JOE - Hash Crash
HARD ON - Hash Trash
MAYO QUEEN - Hash Crash
WANK-KING'S WANKER - Wanker of the Week

Birthdays - 0

~ none this week ~