Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1889 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Fleece Lifter


With serial scribe NA HEE MAN being absent today you could have heard FLATULENCE drop a namesake trademark in the 1st Circle when the GM asked for a volunteer scribe, thankfully he spared us but post run the situation hadn’t changed so relative new comer FLEECE LIFTER raised a hoof to continue his path of being antipodean hash fodder. Not much is recalled from the 1st Circle other than a reminder on beer consumption protocol, also DIRT LOONEY continuing his much appreciated campaign to get our Thai coins for charity, and a warning from the hares that walkers with poles or Zimmer frames may want to turn back at the walker/runner split as from that point on the track would get hard.

The 2nd Circle had a delayed start time of about 7pm due to the wonderful free food sponsored by hares GI JOE and LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE, and lovingly prepared by our excellent chef VV. Whether Roger the Sheep from last week had become pate is still unknown. Sadly the walker/runner feedback wasn’t recorded in any detail as the “scribe pack” provided by The GM had everything but a pen, hopefully it won’t go the way of the Wanker of the Week Spoon and be lost for 5 weeks. To the rescue came the MacGyver-like ARSE BANDIT and scribing could start in earnest.

The general consensus on the walk and run was that it was very well received, and although not as flat as more recent trails offered enough shade and vegetation that most people enjoyed it even with the ups and downs. DIRT LOONEY said the sticks were good, but word was that paint was only on one side, but he was happy, well we don’t call him a looney for nothing. SEAL SUCKER walked (LORD CHICKEN FUCKER passed him) - citing issues with his back, but maybe it was that he didn’t have enough local knowledge of the area to take a shortcut and steal line honours from DEL BOY, who did us all a favour by getting ahead of the walkers so we didn’t need to wait for that first beer.

First on the ice were FUCK OFF and MR BEAN, the former being awarded Hash Crash, he vehemently denied falling but admitted that when he sat on a branch on trail it snapped, is it any surprise when as a self-confessed survivalist you carry a backpack with 3 grenades, 2 AK47’s and a FIM-92 Stinger, or maybe he’s just a fat fuck. Well he didn’t fly like a Tiger today, but that’s another story, ask him if you haven’t heard it.

MR BEAN was awarded Hash Trash and ran dangerously close to being in the bucket when engaging the GM on his right to bring his own beer to the ice. Next on the ice were the hares, GI JOE who by this point had spent 2 hours at the beer truck, and LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE who we were informed had walked about 40,000 steps haring and now had a smaller ass, well done.

The raffle resulted in the Thai ladies taking their pick of the first few prizes, with the first male winner being LIBERACE. Benevolent bloke that he is he donated the 200 baht coin prize to our preferred charity. And once again KNICKERLESS won (the 6th consecutive week?) this week not one but two prizes, she took a toaster so PHANTOM’s morning muffin should be golden brown, and the second prize appeared to be a sex toy – or maybe it was just a massage aid.

Next on the ice were a few recent participants in the Bangkok Bush Hash which took place on Saturday: KNICKERLESS, LOST CAUSE, and COOKIE MONSTER. Apparently videos of them shaking their bootie in the aftermath of that event had made their way onto social media and COOKIE MONSTER as the protagonist was given the choice of showing the dance or the bucket, in a show of solidarity all three girls did the dance to a circle song and we had a live view of their twerking.

UNSTABLE LOAD was awarded the Wanker of the Week Spoon, but took so long getting to the ice that he got the bucket. In the meantime MR BEAN was asked to come in again, as a prolific Facebook poster (he even belongs to a Corrugated Iron Appreciation Society) there was conjecture over why he didn’t re-post to our group some type of all you can drink event, but rather than get the lawyers involved in a public vs private posting debate The GM cooled him off, sorry Bean this is not a democracy. Our one virgin for the day Jimmy from the US was called in and used his prerogative to keep his bum dry, we learned that he had lived in both Chicago and Atlanta but has been in Pattaya for 3 years, when he was called to the ice for a second time the buttocks were exposed and he advised he will return to our hash, welcome and we look forward to seeing you next time.

LORD CHICKEN FUCKER, took his customary turn running the circle and remarked that he will soon hare for the first time in a year, and that after walking today he “will be stiff tomorrow”, let’s hope that at his age he doesn’t waste that condition. LCF brought in MADAM SIN after making an observation on her changing physique. A suspicion made by LCF was confirmed and ARSE BANDIT was complicit in this change, without going into too much detail it doesn’t involve a baby. Talk of a 50% discount from a Jomtien doctor was soon forgotten when AB was called an Under-age Pervert and we will just leave that conversation alone. LCF iced himself to clear his Alzheimer’s and he proceeded to get Haemorrhoid Horny. MR BEAN sang a “We’ve got Virgins” cameo, and LCF sang a Young Ones parody for the Hares.

The Hash Hymn/Swing Low, Sweet Chariot was sung in closing, and was led by BEN 10 after his brief hiatus. Roadie beers were taken (max one per person of course) and about 17 people continued on to Nicky’s Bar for more drink and some baked tuna pasta and garlic bread for those who had appetite.

On-On!  Fleece Lifter


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