PH3 Run 1897 Scribe
Show Scribe Report by Fleece Lifter
The 2nd circle commenced with the GM putting DAME LIBERACE on ice for claiming Hash Trash and then leaving it behind two weeks in a row, was it the drink or Alzheimer’s?
Now time for Hash Crash and three recipients were made to cool off – UNSTABLE LOAD who had his face scratched by thorns, he had been dobbed in by PUSSY SNATCHER, although from the sidelines was temporarily renamed PUSSY SNITCHER by SPERM POLLUTER. PS after calling out UL had proceeded to get caught in the thorns also, nothing like natural justice. The 3rd Hash Crash of the evening was FESTERING FISH FACE, cuts to his leg poor fellow.
The hare’s were put on ice – HAPPY SURVIVOR, SHE’S THE BOSS, FUCK OFF, and MR BEAN. Comments on the run were obtained: BALLRINGER – Good, the hare’s did very well. GOLDEN RIVET – Got lost due to a dodgy check. SPERM POLLUTER – called it the Dog and Tapioca Trail, as well as the Snake, Scorpion, and Goose Farm trail. HARD ON was not happy with the distance between checks, 300m he proclaimed which earned him a spot on the ice and an offer from the GM to educate him. SEAL SUCKER – was feeling good, the drugs had kicked in as it was his first run after weeks of walking after his Google diagnosed Sciatica, he crossed the line in 1st place after an unexpected demise of the front runner, more on that later. CRAZY GERMAN – had been feeling fatigued so walked and enjoyed it, his first walk in Pattaya he proclaimed. FESTERING FISH FACE – challenging but enjoyable. Down downs for the hare’s ensued.
On to the waffle, aka the raffle. LOST CAUSE drew 1st and took a bucket of something or other, GI JOE was 2nd and got wine, HAPPY SURVIVOR 3rd and took a man bag for SHE’S THE BOSS, Mark drew 4th but was put on ice for a drink violation (bringing to circle), he took the crackers. LURCH got 5th and took wine, BALLRINGER 6th and choose a small racket (rumour has it that’s how he makes his crust – it’s always those you’d least expect), he got iced for bringing in beer. Minor prizes followed.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD took the circle and put the hare’s on the ice, they were called squeaky clean, no criminals or snitchers. The signs to the A-site were good, it was noted as being private even though it was close to the road. HAPPY SURVIVOR and SHE’S THE BOSS (chose bucket) were commended for their contributions as hare’s, MR BEAN and FUCK OFF being their currently in training protégé’s. BEAN admitted beating off a lot of dogs hareing this run, hey its Thailand, Up2You. EA attempted to find out who had used permanent paint for the on-in which went down on the road, Hash Trash was awarded and a reminder than on the Monday Hash we don’t want to leave permanent reminders of our visits. Down downs done. The GM was put on ice but for a good reason, his 200th run, he was awarded a shirt, well done.
Gary from Australia was brought to the circle for his naming. We were reminded how last week we know little of this man of mystery, a man of few words. Gary worked for many years in high rise construction although he is afraid of heights, he didn’t wear a harness as it hurt’s his balls. Quizzed on working in that line while being afraid of heights, even being suggested as being masochistic, Gary said he got used to it, not shaking like a leaf. Quite the quiet alpha male hey. Names suggested and rejected in order of least to most popular were – Erection Deflection, Cloud Climber, Nobody Home, Kamikaze, Close to the Angels, Reluctant Climber, Festering Fish Finger, Shit for Brains, Not Right Upstairs, but the outright winner as voted by the circle is DON’T SQUEEZE MY BALLS. Welcome you are now fully fledged.
The GM took the circle and awards were done. UNSTABLE LOAD 200 runs and approx. 30 hare’s (mostly shit the GM remarked). HAPPY SURVIVOR 10 hare’s, she has done 100 runs so this gives a great ratio, but one the scribe finds too hard to calculate. DIRT LOONEY recognised for website management with WANK KINGS WANKER still convalescing, it’s DL’s birthday on Wednesday (50, again!). Hashey Birthday, fuck you, led by SPERM POLLUTER was sung enthusiastically.
The Wanker of the Week spoon had candidates brought in. This is spoon number 3 after recent losses so it is noted that a charge of 34THB will be levied for the wankers that fail to return it. MR BEAN, GI JOE, FUCK OFF, and FLEECE LIFTER were iced. As the scribe was iced the reasons for the others being nominated were lost, but it is rather moot and there was an air on inevitability as the GM left FL until the end and had multiple reasons – short cutting (hey I could see the paper from there and it might have knocked off 50m), remarking that I wanted to beat SPERM POLLUTER (it’s not a race, note to self, just say I want the walkers to be able to drink sooner), but perhaps most tellingly about 200 metres from the A site as front runner, missing the permanently painted On-In and starting the run again and getting lost. This resulted in coming in last. Perhaps a HHH record the statisticians will have to advise. So wanker of the week – FLEECE LIFTER. Down downs done. VV and SOUR KRAUT BONE COLLECTOR were iced for being noisy fuckers.
LORD CHICKEN FUCKER took the circle. FLATULENCE was put in the bucket. With a true anything goes attitude he confirmed liking Katoys with big tit’s. LCF suggested “her” morning glory would be bigger than FLATULENCE’s. Did FLATULENCE have a Katoy lined up for tonight? Why yes he said. SPERM POLLUTER suggested it would be DAME LIBERACE.
PICK-A-NINNY was put on ice for no other reason that being attractive to LCF. He could see a partial back tattoo and tried to expose more to the circle, a somewhat failure, LCF said “I love….” and then forgot her name, but made attempts with PICK-A-LILLY and PICK-A-WILLY.
FLEECE LIFTER was iced by LCF. He was quizzed where the attractive young lady from the prior week was tonight? To which FL remarked he’d run out of money (donations accepted). “Oh, you pay her?” How unbecoming of course not that would be prostitution which we all know is illegal in Thailand, rather it’s just the regular girlfriend thingy - what man doesn’t spend? FL’s new father-in-law FESTERING FISH FACE was brought in beside him and a little of the nuclear family was revealed, it would make tabloids anywhere but here. FL was made to promise to bring her back for use by another hasher, and LCF wants to question her on FL’s performance. Thank god her English is basic.
PUSSY SNATCHER was put on the ice. LCF extolled the virtues of pussy and all the different types you can get, LCF likes a bit of pussy pie. LCF tried to determine the origin of PS’s name, PS said it was because he rescued cats from trees, the circle sang him the bullshit song. In a commercial endorsement, it was said that Nivea cream was used by PS’s “girlfriend” rooting him up the arse, but that perhaps Brylcreem is better.
FLATULENCE falls in the outer circle, attempts to come to the ice and is promptly removed by security, the responsible service of alcohol code clearly breached. SEAL SUCKER, SOMETHING STUPID, SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY and CRAZY GERMAN did the final down downs. LCF concludes a stellar performance.
The Eskies were closed (temporarily) and the Hash Hymn was led by BALLRINGER, BEN 10 was absent today. One for the road and about 16 continued on to Hustler’s, which has replaced the Buffalo Bar in the on-on bar rotation.
On-On! Fleece Lifter