Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1901 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Burl Ives

So where do we start? On route to the A-site we turned into an active stone quarry, surely can’t be here, but with Reggie Van Fuckup (RVF) as the hare all things are possible. Sure enough up a narrow path fearing for the car getting scratched to buggery leading to a beautiful open area. He obviously did the recce on a bike, not considering those of us with 4 wheels. Into the A-site with Liberace screaming about his scratched car. (Minus 1 point to the hares!)

Then I had a quiet chat to the hare, who wore a “Who Dares Win” shirt last week, complete with the spread phoenix, RVF explained that during the 2nd World War when Belgium was invaded by the Germans the Belgian army shipped out to England and joined the paratroopers and were subsequently allowed to wear the now famous SAS logo on their uniforms. RVF was a paratrooper in the Belgian army in his younger days, hence his devil may care approach to hashing! (Check his arm for the SAS tattoo)

Quiet question to RVF, “how is the run, is it safe for me: no problem it’s 4km and all on the flat, the walkers go round the mountain the runners go up & over it for 10km.” Bearing in mind he nearly killed me twice before and told us the urban run around Bang Saray was 4km which turned out to be 7km. (his wife told my wife later that if RVF had said it was 7km no one would have done it!)

So on to the introductory circle and the Hares briefing. “How far is the walkers/runner’s split” I asked to which RVF replied “I don’t know, proudly brandishing an expensive Garmin GPS on his wrist! (Minus 1 point to the hares!)

Trying to believe him I decided to go forth and do the walker’s trail. 5.5km later (Minus 1 point to the hares!) after climbing 2 steep hills, puffing and blowing, we discovered the beautiful scenery from the top (Plus 1 point to the hares!) and eventually got back, just after the runners.

So on to the 2nd circle:
1. GM iced Ging Gand Goolies for hash trash for loosing his chair bag.
2. Hares: admonished for setting a run in an area riddled with explosives (Minus 1 point to the hares!) and for not clearing the path to the A-site of scratchy bushes (see above).
3. Comments on the run: old blue sticks, plenty of paper & good backchecks,(Plus 1 point to the hares!) and “a lot better than expected from these hares” (plus 1 point to the hares!)
4. Waffle: WKW: fruit snacks; Belly Dancer: power pack; Knickerless: red wine (of course), VV: Packs of Coffee; GI Joe: White wine; Lost Cause (again): Shampoo; Street Cleaner: hash Shirt; Velcro Dick: tin of biscuits (as if he needed them)
5. WKW Awards: Phantom: 200 runs (not hares), RVF 30 Hares, Ninja Princess 10 hares (Plus 2 points to the hares!)
6. GM: ”Wanker Of The Week Spoon“ competition between Fleece Lifter (recipient), Seal Sucker & Crap Thai. Seal Sucker got it for always wanting to win (Note to SS: hashing is NOT a RACE! How many times do you need to be told?)
7. GM: Visitors: Sam & Monica, Bytes my Yahoo and Chuckwoa.
8. Lord Chicken Fucker: A site made him think he was in a manger like Jesus with all the straw on the ground. ICED the GM, just because he could, then Phantom, GI Joe, Spastic Whore King for putting ice down the hares back?
9. LCF: Merits of PSA test, white glove up yer archie, then all Chiang Mai hashers (Belly Dancer, Crap Thai, Bytes my Yahoo & Chuckwoa) with piles on the ice to cure them.
10. GM: GI Joe to be missing in action for his birthday this week due to military mission in BKK.
11. GM: Arse van Hole & Smokey Trucky Fucky bucket for GM’s water pistole misuse
12. GM: Fuck Off & Mark Palmer for getting lost on the trail for 2h, “Oh we want to become good hares so we did a recce of this area!”
13. Hares Song: LCF did a Blah Blah operatic performance which had everyone in stitches.
14. Final Down Down for all those not yet in the circle, then Hash Hymn.

So there we have it: hares score Plus 1 point, so it must have been a good run!

On-On!  Burl Ives

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