Pattaya H3

PH3 Run 1903 Scribe

Show Scribe Report by Burl Ives


Here we are again it’s Monday, for me after a hectic weekend of hashing or hash related events! Thursday, setting the walkers trail for the Jungle Lunar run on the Darkside, (just to prove we could do one there), Friday helping Spastic Whore King (SWK) setting the runners trail, Saturday, out again on the Jungle trail, Sunday night out for Chimps bar crawl (originated by the amazing Banka Blower, Piss Pole Dancer and me, as something to do for the “Can’t do Don’t do” people while the athletes went off and did a ball breaking Jungle Monkey run) and now Monday, hopefully an easy run to wind down.

So who were the Hares? 3 nice Frenchmen: Sour Kraut Bone Collector (SKBC) (an Alsatian who speaks fluent French, German, English and some Vlams (Flemish to the uneducated), Parisian Titi (a quiet reserved man with some good haring experience) and of course the virgin hare (Don’t call me) “Something Stupid” (which we did of course).

SKBC (Daniel to his friends) and his wife French Kiss are incredible work horses for all the local hashes, looking after supply and sales of Hash rags (been there done it and got no thanks for it, kind of job), as well as setting trails for the Dirt, Jungle and PH3, always prepared to step up and volunteer!

The run site was a stone’s throw from our place (8km), which is always appreciated rather than driving 30km home in the dark down twisty/turny roads, difficult for my wife! Slightly rough dirt road, but then a beautiful A site which we’ve never been to, all clearly marked with HHH signs. My co hares and I had set about 5 runs in this area in the past, but all the old trails have been converted into a golf course or a highway, so it was great to find this new area so close to home. Well done hares.

Some Miserable F@cker complained that it was the same site as the previous Dirt, but who cares. The turnout was excellent ca 65-70, the weather was fantastic, clouded over with no humidity, perfect hashing weather.

After the first introductory circle, curtailed due to no new hashers present, the hares explained that the Walkers trail was 4.5 Key and the runners 8 Key, with a split after 3 Key. (km got lost in translation), usual sticks, paint, and hanging paper trail marks. Then on out through tall spiky Casava (Tapioca) fields, some pleasant sandy dirt roads, underneath the new flyover, past an old derelict construction workers’ camp, a smelly landfill site, down a couple of short ski slopes, back through casava and a ploughed field to some black top for on home.

Second circle highlights about the run:
• Americans getting their feet wet in a Gullette (is this the Yankie version of gully?),
Golden Rivet and his new love Bum Boy strolling in very late after walking the run,
Dirt Looney complaining someone stole his perfectly spray-painted sticks,
Unstable Load (RvF) claiming everyone used his dirt trial markings
Liberace happy to get no scratches on his car
• Hares praised by all for an excellent run

Raffle prizes this week were a bottle of Thai Honey (didn’t know they could fit in one), a Pepsi pack, Moose Cider, Shampoo set, Tea Bags, Olive oil, a 150 Siamsbury’s voucher and 2 old G.I.Joe T-shirts(unworn??) Knickerless had a double orgasm as she won both booze prizes (again)

Then back to the circle
WKW Awards: SWK - 50 runs
GM iced the Belgians for cocking up the date of the next MMM
Seal Sucker punished for using a Mental Disorder term for those from Belgium, when asked what they were really called he replied “Belgeriums”
• The circle banter really took off with Gangreenium (sic) and Spermy (sic) chirping in with their razor-sharp wit and the GM responding. Great to see such enjoyable repartee, instead of grumpy RA’s running round the circle telling everyone to SHUT-UP
Smokey Trucky Fucky (STF) won the wanker of the week, by getting drunk on the Chimps runs, driving home 5km then falling off his bike twice, while trying to put the footrest down, once each way!!
LCF thought he had got away with new shoes in circle 1, but they were spotted on the run when he said he wanted to try how good the grip was on one of the short ski slopes, which he skidded down like the rest of us.
LCF also tried to keep them clean by building a bridge from waste plastic bags with me, to keep out of the mud in the culvert.
LCF then attacked SWK for his clogs offered himself to Chip Chip/Parisian Titi for a 3some on Koh Chang, then tackled all of those with 2 passports namely the Aussies and Blow Lewininsky
Burl Ives (i.e me) tried to sing a couple of French ditties but F@cked up as he forgot the words of “Ou Est Le Papier!! (he obviously did not have his songs sheets with him!)
• Final Down Down and Swing Low

And so it was the end of a great run and a very entertaining circle…

Note for next MMM: The scribe’s pen has run out of ink and you forgot St Andrew’s day! (30th November (note for diary same date every year))

On-On!  Burl Ives


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