What a great Monday Hash yet again!
The commitment from some of our hashers is commendable. The hares in the Hulk and Suzy Wong interrupted their vacation to poison Rasputin and effectively put him in hospital and robbing the PH3 the opportunity to torture him for a shitty run! Talking of torture, Sheik Meme and the long suffering Crasher were out sailing and spent the Monday sailing back to the hash on Soi Phoenix and close to a secure mooring. On a beautiful anchorage on Koh Pye the day before, the Navy had a warning sign there suggesting that upsetting the local eco system was “punishable by torture”! You reckon the cops are bad! Anyway Sheik Meme, the first nigger ever to sail to a Monday hash! (Writing this scribe from a deserted white sand beach swinging at anchor).
The Chinese cemetery huh! Miserable Cnt was seen instructing his workers assisting the custodians of the Chinese cemetery in a blatant effort to secure a favourable burial plot. Emperor Airhead promised MC that we the hash would wonder over and visit the tomb of Miserable Cnt whenever we used this wonderful A-site…………and then all the comments about pissing on graves come out. Absolutely no respect for the living! He really is miserable though, but we do love him? We are all surprised that MC has everything for sale, but the real surprise is, that he manages to sell most of it to Hellboy!
The run, who cares! Another loop, another fk up where the in trail was too close to true trail, that the veterans like Lone Wolf found their way back to the Bottomless Pit oasis, way to early . The highlight was Gangreen and Airhead sitting on a bench with jiving music through a robust micro speaker system, and both happily down the bottom of the garden with the pixies talking great nothingness about nothing in particular. Free Willy was also hovering and looked so out of place, we did not notice him. I expect that he was lobbying Emperor Airhead for the keys to the PH3 war chest again, which will never happen while Spaghetti Head is alive….so watch this space! A good crowd in, boosted by the PNG crew lead by Deep Throat, Three Dogs, Tongue and Groove and the Slab. Not one of these fat bastards left the a site to threaten a sweat. Slab however, is in a permanent state of perspiration and finds no need to induce further body fluid loss, and was quite happy to focus on the intake having studied the Homer Simpson rehydration thesus! Fuck The Truth was back (I only mention that because of his law practice, never got that, we pay the pricks so much money to practice!)
Wee Jimmy, you give him the circle and ya bust ya balls laughing! How he remembers all that sht? I (Meme) goes in the circle with absolutely NOTHING, and Wee Jimmy (Really Sadistic Bastard) is chapter and verse and it is as funny as fk! His victims today were the Gullible Ballringer (Mickey Mouse holding his nose, and a watch gig. You had to be there!). Turd Burglar, that’s not hard. Free Willy, he LOVES taking the piss out of Free Willy because he used his credit card. Suzy Wong, just because and the infamous Wankings Wanker, again, not hard! The hares had some down down glasses that resembled Walking Street to the drinkers thereof, with flashing lights of sorts. Airhead suggested that they were souvenir’s form Chernobyl!
Night has fallen where I am at this anchorage, and although we are safe and secure in this 45’ catamaran, behind a headland, protected from the howling 20 knot plus winds (not forecast), Crasher has retired and I am keenly looking to hold bottom after 10 glasses of Mitchel Taylors Cabinet Sauvignon, which Katoy Anal Masturbator (better known as KAM since the reformation), refuses to lobby his best buddy for cases at cost, due embarrassment of sorts I guess! Nonetheless, after sailing into the Hash yesterday, Crasher wanted to head back into town today (painful), for more supplies, massage and just that other girly sht! We left Ocean Marina Yacht Club at 3:30pm and headed west. The wind was howling at 20 knots and we (only two of us) screamed the 25 nautical miles averaging 15 knots to Koh Pye East. Must be a record! I have spent 4-5 hours getting here on many occasions and we were here in one hour and thirty five minutes! I should have looked more closely at the weather and gone to the TQ! None the less, here I sit in the middle of the night hoping we hold anchor! I did make a magnificent garlic, onion, ginger, chilli, pork filet, with kale and mango for dinner. And….we thought we broke one of the rudders at 17 knots, and upon arrival, and diving over the side, we sheered the starboard centreboard. Crumbs!
For what it’s worth, the raffle was won by Wanking Wanker (fixed), Deep Throat (he’s got plenty), Pig Dog (fk his a fat bastard), Tongue and Groove (ditto previous), Free Willy (no surprise!) and Banker Blower. Let’s not forget (we shall remember them thing) that Lone Wolf has 300 runs today! GM awarded 400, however the quick witted Spaghetti Head, would have none of that and set the record straight before Lone Wolf had the opportunity to revel in his hundred run bonus by telling another lame joke that is way more effective via email.
There was talk of our very own Captain Kangaroo taking a fright out of Sydney to another whore hole the day previous where they found snakes in the cabin, however this is yet to be confirmed! The Hulk awarded 5 hares (all sht runs!). Pig Pusher Swine Stabber 250 runs. Meme was falsely awarded Hash Trash for some lame helmet face mask cover thing that broke on the way into the cemetery and was left next to the bike, bla, bla bla, Hulk, why does the GM give the hares the circle! They don’t get out much those Germans! Can’t think of anything else that would interest KAM (who by the way, waits every Tuesday to read the happenings of his family, the PH3, as do you other bastards!), so we will sign it off there. If I have forgotten you, stiff sht! Oh, Bimbo, the Harrier Magazine, sex tourist was with the PH3 again, obviously not looking for sponsors, however, if you own an airline (after losing Laos Airlines because he was caught wanking at 35,000 feet on a free flight to join the mile high club), we the hash community would be greatly appreciative of your support. Why the fk did I say that, oh, 14 glasses of Cabinet Sauvignon, Frank Benfield would be proud (why the fk did I say that!). Thanks for being part of the Family Dudes! OnOn
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 71
46 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
3 Supatra Haussranoi; 429 BALL RINGER; 111 BENGT POTATO; 4 BIGGUS DICKUS; 20 BIMBO; 491 BOW WOW; 207 CRACK MY COCCYX; 185 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 229 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 34 FREQUENT STREAKER; 466 G.I. JOE; 122 GANGREEN; 24 GOLDEN WATERFALL; 91 HONEY BEAR; 60 HULK; 520 LADY FLIPPER; 26 LADY GAGA; 162 LIBERACE; 21 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 300 LONE WOLF; 96 MARATHON MAN; 45 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 52 MENTAL DISORDER; 173 MISSING LINK;; 571 MRS. HEAD; 29 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 250 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER;; 136 ROBBING BASTARD; 51 RUNNING BARE; 55 SEAL SUCKER; 142 SHEIK MEME;; 543 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 643 SIR DOG; 540 SIR FREE WILLY; 548 SIR MC;; 546 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 713 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 402 SNOOPY;; 109 STEPTOE; 251 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 29 SUZY WONG; 248 SWEETIE; 143 TRY-A-FUCK; 149 TURD BURGLAR; 647 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 145 WANK-KING’S WANKER
168 BANGKA BLOWER; 25 CHEAPER THAN MEME; 1232 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 310 FUCK THE TRUTH; 1056 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 104 PIG DOG; 117 PINKABOO; 153 PISSED POLE DANCER; 68 RABBIT SHOOTER; 45 RASPUTIN; 196 REAR GUNNER; 527 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT
13 Visitors with their Total Runs and Mother Hash
1 L.C.F.C. — Dubai Hash, UAE
23 BULLTRACK — Korea Hash
11 BABY — Pattaya Dirt Road H3, Thailand
7 CRASHER — Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
25 DEEP THROAT — Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
2 PULLA — Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
18 SLAB — Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
5 SOGGIE BISCUIT — Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
12 THREE DOGS — Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
5 TUNG ‘N’ GROOVE — Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
6 KIM SHE — Scandi Hooligan Hash, Norway
3 TRAIN STOPPER — Scandi Hooligan Hash, Norway
3 DRIPPING HELMET — Yemen Hash
HULK Hared 05
LONE WOLF 300th Run
PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER 250th Run
Sheik Meme – Hash Trash award