Scribe Report by Linear Accelerator
After a slightly late start I spotted Jimmy, Sir Really Sadistic Bastard and followed him until discovering he was not on paper at all but in search of the nearest pub. Soon I noticed what appeared to be the pack off in the distance and took off in swift pursuit. After the earlier downpours this weekend and today it was obvious the hares were challenged in setting the trail. However being the veteran hares they are, SIR Spaghetti Head & GI Joe marked the trail resourcefully with multi-colored paper which could be discussed as general procedure for inclement weather conditions as it retains visibility in the wet. By Hashing tradition, the front-runners were kept busy by the veteran hare pranks keeping the pack together by design for an outstanding run by all the PH3 Monday runners on today’s Hash.
GM calls the circle and makes the observation that due to the stormy weather conditions the 51 hashers that showed up for today’s run are the professional hashers. Had the rainy day leavers known the hares also provided a shelter at the A-site, perhaps there would have been a larger turnout. The GM ices the Hares and thanks them for their combined years of service then SIR Spaghetti Head & GI Joe are given a note.
GM Wank-King’s Wanker announces location for the Halloween Run will soon be available and calls the ever-diligent Sir Bottomless Pit to the circle for the raffle. In the spirit of Oktoberfest the Brew Master is equipped today with a traditional Oktoberfest mug. Prost! Many raffle prizes are on display including those donated from a few generous hashers adding to the excitement, which is only slightly offset by the Rat Poison on the table. The lucky winners pick their prizes and are given a note.
Our GM calls the esteemed RA, emperor airhead to the circle. The RA ices the hares and warns the rat poison on the table today was chosen by a Harriette and issues a cautionary statement to the Harrier in her private circle. Remember folks, Safety Saves Lives and as well we don’t want to lose any Monday signups.
emperor airhead gives respect to the hardcore hashers in the circle today who show up to the run even in the most adverse conditions; not like those pussys who stayed home today because of rain.
Next the hardcore hares, SIR spaghetti Head & GI Joe, obviously senior hashers, are acknowledged for their tireless effort in setting the trail given the challenges of the inclement weather. A note is given to our revered hares.
RA emperor airhead calls Wee Moaning Weasel to have a seat. WMW has been hashing for 20 years however rarely appears but once or twice a year here in Pattaya. Jimmy, SRSB knew him since he was a wee boy in diapers and comments, “now he is a hairy ass boy”. The RA explains WMW has fallen in love with his sweetheart who has accompanied him on the last two Monday runs. emperor airhead bestows Wee Moaning Weasel’s sweetheart the hash name Sticky Knickers; and she is given a sticky note.
Next our RA calls the virgin Jack Ward to the circle. Jack’s father sperm polluter is asked to take a seat. Under questioning by RA, Jack and SP confirm their mutual respect as an outstanding father and model son. The virgin receives a note.
RA calls the greatest Brew Master in the world, Sir Bottomless Pit, to have a seat. emperor airhead compliments the Brew Master for his German work ethic that provides always-cold beer at the hash runs and then announces today is our beloved Brew Master’s birthday. Hashy Birthday song follows for Sir Bottomless Pit and soon a cake with candles lit appears. Michael wishes for no tax on beer.
emperor airhead reminisces on a few of the winning Halloween costumes from previous years and pumps up the circle to compete for best costume next week then hands the circle to the GM.
GM Wank-Kings Wanker takes the circle and advises everyone to be in costume for the Halloween Run then calls HONEY BEAR our Hash Flash to the circle for a 5-hared runs hat. HONEY BEAR is given a note.
CABBAGE HEAD takes the circle and calls Ball Ringer to have a seat and comment on the outcome of his latest medical procedure. Ball Ringer claims he is running again and hopefully shooting blanks. With that he’s given a note. Shit my Pants asked to take a seat and then CH explains how he came to be called SMP, which is certainly a crowd pleaser, then moves him to the bucket where SMP is given a note. Turd Burgler asked to take a seat and then given a note. Honeybear asked to take a seat for nearly capturing CABBAGE HEAD with a smile on a hash flash and is given a note.
RA returns to circle and calls Sir Really Sadistic Bastard to receive his 550th run acknowledgement and is given a note. RA calls STUPID KRAUT KUNT to the circle where he explains a few of his beer adventures here in Thailand.
Hares are asked to sing us a song however due to harmony issues, they call STEPTOE to entertain the circle and sing us a song or two. RA then ices the returners they are given a note. The circle concludes with the Hash Hymn.
Scribe for next run: Turd Burgler
ON-ON ! LINEAR ACCELERATOR
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 51
40 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
8 Roger Nyseth; 2 Sompatsorn Satong; 433 BALL RINGER; 21 BANANAS; 495 BOW WOW; 166 CABBAGE HEAD; 260 CABBAGE QUEEN; 172 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 29 CHEAPER THAN MEME; 189 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1236 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 232 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 38 FREQUENT STREAKER; 126 GANGREEN; 94 HONEY BEAR; 524 LADY FLIPPER; 30 LADY GAGA; 166 LIBERACE; 25 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 48 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 55 MENTAL DISORDER; 177 MISSING LINK; 575 MRS. HEAD; 254 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 140 ROBBING BASTARD; 531 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 647 SIR DOG; 544 SIR FREE WILLY; 551 SIR MC; 550 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 83 SLIPPERY ARSE; 406 SNOOPY; 113 STEPTOE; 5 STICKY KNICKERS; 180 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 252 SWEETIE; 153 TURD BURGLAR; 489 UNCLE PERVY; 149 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 85 WEE MOANING WEASEL
311 FUCK THE TRUTH; 469 G.I. JOE; 48 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 229 PELER; 52 RUNNING BARE; 716 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 292 SQUEEZE MY TUBE
3 Visitors with their Total Runs – Mother Hash
1 Samniang Rattanamool – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
11 SHIT MY PANTS – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
22 SPERM POLLUTER – Phuket Hash, Thailand
CHEAPER THAN MEME
HONEY BEAR – 5 Hared Runs Hat
SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD – 550th Run
SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT – 21 Oct
1 New Hash Name
Amonrat Tongthai was named STICKY KNICKERS
1 Mis-Management Position
WANK-KING’S WANKER – Web Master (contact at firstname.lastname@example.org)