Scribe Report by Kee Mah
Well, another SIR FREE WILLY typical run, or as EMPEROR AIRHEAD says, “deja vu all over again”. Lovely A site, up high with a tremendous view of the Jomtien skyline especially at sunset, only problem was we weren’t there to see it, we were all friggin lost in the friggin jungle! This site apparently had been used in some Kung Foo movie so look for it next time you’re in Hong Kong. Welcome back QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE, POOPACHINO, and MARATHON MAN, good to see youse guys again.
It rained before the run, quite a downpour and then SIR FREE WILLY went out supposedly to lay paper as if it was a ‘Live Hare Run’ but funny thing was (as our clairvoyant SIR MC predicted) all the paper was wet. We didn’t head out till after 5pm, leaving, surprise surprise, only 1 hour till sunset and complete darkness. A really good run I thought from what I saw of it though. I was with the old-timers, fat guys and cripples at the end of the pack when we saw the remains of a sign that WILLY had told us about with only the letters WA visible, the rain having washed away everything else. Somebody says oh it’s the WALKERS trail so off we go only to find out back at the circle it was a false trail with the word WATERFALL written there.
Oh well, so there we are wandering around for an hour, confused, lost again, it’s dark, the stars are out, when we hear On-On and there are the FRB‘s coming behind us who actually seemed to know where they were. There is a Buddha after all. Having said that, though, I enjoyed the run, cool after the rain, there were a few hills, lots of shade, and lots of typical scenery.
Some others not so lucky and are probably still wandering around out there. Search parties were sent out with flashlights, our heroes being MUDCRACKER, CABBAGE HEAD and RUNNING BARE and even EMPEROR AIRHEAD . Almost everyone was found, similar to Free Willy’s last hare at this location five years ago when those same heroes plus KARAMBA were sent out to find four children hopelessly lost in the dark. I don’t think we even had a circle that night.
Vodka, caviar, fruit, chocolates, chips provided by the hares for all the runners who made it back on their own but for all the lost ones, nada.
SIR FREE WILLY was iced numerous times by everyone with ice power and given Hash Shit by the GM, SCAR WITH 2T’s. SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD and GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER were iced by EMPEROR AIRHEAD for barhopping during a really serious Hash Run.
Welcome to SHIT ON MY FACE (referring to his mustache apparently) from the Samurai Hash in Japan, iced for being a baseball player and carrying a big bat, which the Aussie girl, Sonny, standing next to me remarked on when he dropped his shorts and sat on the ice.
Also, welcome back to LORD CHICKEN FUCKER who treated us to his usual ramblings and had us all laughing. I didn’t know this but microwaves apparently are quite the treat for small babies but only for 30 seconds or so at a time, because it makes them dizzy. BALL RINGER and BELL END, who were just married this week (congratulations) were made aware of this information by LORD CF to be used on their 4 month old future Hasher, Benjamin. Sometimes those vasectomies don’t work out I guess.
Anybody who has hashed in the Philippines knows the Aussie, ARMPIT, and the singular way that he talks and acts, well we seem to be developing our own version of ARMPIT in GOLDFINGER from New Zealand who was iced for no hash Tee shirt, being obnoxious, and slurring his words in a strange language, JUST LIKE ARMPIT. Uncanny.
Our Hash Flash, HONEY BEAR, who is doing a tremendous job in that assignment was iced for being Filipino because her hero, boxer Manny Pacquio had just kicked the crap out of some contender. Always nice to see her on the ice. I think she got a photo of a rainbow during the run so hope it turns out.
A final word for Toy from the TQ who came for her first hash run, got lost, and is still out in the jungle. Don’t worry, your boyfriend WHY SO SMALL will pay you double bar fine.
Hash Scribe next week FOWL FUCKER.
On On! KEE MAH
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week = 80
56 Hashers who were Hashing the previous week
4 Samniang Rattanamool; 6 Jason Rodham; 6 Chunthanee Suphawong; 438 BALL RINGER; 9 BELL STAR; 12 BIGGUS DICKUS; 110 BLACK HOLE; 170 CABBAGE HEAD; 85 CABBAGE PRINCESS; 264 CABBAGE QUEEN; 37 CAMEL HUMPER; 101 CRAZY PUSSY; 35 DESERT SCORPION; 194 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1241 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 41 FREQUENT STREAKER; 474 G.I. JOE; 131 GANGREEN; 620 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 7 HAWKEYE; 98 HONEY BEAR; 134 HORSE; 10 JINGLE BALLS; 12 JOHN WAYNE; 171 KEE MAH; 528 LADY FLIPPER; 34 LADY GAGA; 171 LIBERACE; 30 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 304 LONE WOLF; 60 MENTAL DISORDER; 580 MRS. HEAD; 74 MUD CRACKER; 20 MUD’S CRACKER; 34 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 53 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 51 PEAR SHAPED; 234 PELER; 258 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 50 POCAHONTAS; 144 ROBBING BASTARD; 56 RUNNING BARE; 164 SCAR WITH TWO T’S; 550 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 536 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 548 SIR FREE WILLY; 555 SIR MC; 555 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 721 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 297 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 118 STEPTOE; 259 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 257 SWEETIE; 655 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 154 WANK-KING’S WANKER; 11 WHY SO SMALL
179 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 112 BENGT POTATO; 209 CRACK MY COCCYX; 39 FINGERLESS; 382 FOWL FUCKER; 132 JACKAL; 284 KARAMBA; 1059 LORD CHICKEN FUCKER; 100 MARATHON MAN; 44 ONE MORE TIME; 65 POOPACHINO; 71 SMELLY BASTARD; 271 TREE FROG; 154 UP THE BUTT
6 Visitors with their Total Runs – Mother Hash
3 GOLD FINGER – Auckland Men’s Hash, New Zealand
1 STRIDER – Edinburgh Hash, Scotland
23 TWINKLE DICK – Gypsies Hash, San Francisco, USA
21 WANKING – Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
1 WANKER – Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
10 SHIT ON MY FACE – Tokyo Hash, Japan
PAPRIKA SMILEY – 50th Run Mug awarded
1 Hash Shit
SIR FREE WILLY – Losing half the hashers on the Live Hare Run
1 Hash Hero
CABBAGE HEAD – For going back out and finding the lost hashers