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Scribe Report by Sir Spaghetti Head
Today’s run – listed in the weekly hash sheet “as being hared by V.V. and his friends” is a gross misnomer! When JACKAL hares a run he is accompanied by many invisible friends, who are speaking to him in one of seven different languages which he understands, while he is papering the trail. We know that “friends” means more than one! But, V.V. only does his trail alone or with only one other person! Yes, TAMPAX! We all know the reason why! Could you “as the sole hare” carry the paper, paint, hash signs, after run sandwiches, folding chair, “after laying trail beer” and the lighting system on that rickety old motorbike that V.V. uses? No way in hell that I would!
A question that I always ponder when V.V. does a run: is how he can walk and paper “an 8K trail” when he cannot stand and serve beer for “30 minutes” to his fellow Hashers who have run his trail. Damn, how soon I forget V.V.’s “many friends” – TAMPAX will serve it! Today’s run is, “an auto replay” of the 5th run that V.V. hared in September of 1999! When you have hared over 128 runs, which V.V. has, “every run is an auto replay” believe me! Now that I’ve taken “the piss out of” two great hashers and friends – It’s time to get on with today’s Scribe Report!
First, I feel that the PH3 is getting back on track and heading into the next three months, and the New Year, with renewed vim, vigor, and insight! How can I make that outlandish statement? Take a good look at this week’s returners: The APPLE’S FAMILY, MISSING LINK, F**K THE TRUTH, and HELLBOY! Just take a look at the upcoming hare line up: SIR DOG, SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC, and STINKY SLOPPY; B.B. and REAR GUNNER; SHIT MY PANTS and friends; SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT and V.V. Couple all of that with the return of SCAR w/2 TT’s and we should be off and running towards the New Year!
GKW and RSB on the ice! Hares on the ice! E.T. on the ice! What a way to start tonight’s circle! We all know about the Scottish vote for Independence! But, do you know that it only failed by two votes? GKW and RSB never sent their ballots in so they could be counted! They were always too drunk to sign them! E.T. iced because of his talking while the GM is trying to speak to the circle! The only way that you can possible get E.T. to stop talking GM is to put his head in the bucket!
Runners in Pattaya are spoiled simply because of the many great running areas available and their close access to town. Add a couple of great hares and what do you have? A good run, good run, good run according to BALL RINGER! G.I. JOE will quickly tell you that “he has never been on a bad run”! Some of them were better than others but, I have never been on a bad run. Without question, today’s run was great! Thanks Hares!
G.I. JOE and SQUEEZE MY TUBE conducted the raffle and the lucky winners were: E.T., LINEAR ACCELERATOR, GKW, KEE MAH, LIBERACE, EXCESS BAGGAGE, and SIR FREE WILLY. Congratulations to all of the winners! SHEIK MEME takes the circle and ices: E.T., SCARLET, G.I. JOE in the bucket, SCRUMPY, and others for being at the CARE FOR KIDS party this past weekend. Nice job guys! MEME continues by icing SPERM POLLUTER, REAR GUNNER, RASPUTIN, HELLBOY and others as returners on to days hash! HELLBOY takes the circle and quickly fills the ice and bucket with: MEME, LIBERACE, SFW, WANK-KING’S WANKER, LINEAR ACCELERATOR, BALL RINGER and tries to find “just who” screwed up the hash by taping off the beer coolers! You can’t imagine the amount of finger pointing went on. Remember that when you point your finger at another person – you always have 3 fingers back at you! HELLBOY that he would get the situation “unscrewed” quickly! Good Luck HB! HELLBOY then proceeded to rain “HELL” on the Scandi’s, Norwegians, cats, dogs, rats, and mice and “anyone else who would listen” about his inability to get any sleep until the wee hours of the morning because of the noise in his area! Welcome back HELLBOY!
The large (no pun intended) fun part of the evening was trying to select a befitting hash name for Darren Graham! The names went from “the mild to the wild” before the two top choices were settled upon. EXCESS BAGGAGE won over WIDE LOAD after at least five re-votes were cast! Congratulations, EXCESS BAGGAGE! BELL END and SWEETIE were congratulated for achieving their 300th run! FREE WILLY’’s Birthday, this week, was announced.
Next week’s Scribe was selected by a “name being drawn” out of a hat by SQUEEZE MY TUBE. The winner “or was it the loser” – was G.I. JOE. STEPTOE sang a hash song while today’s Hares sat on the ice! B.B. then helped by selecting a group to consume the remaining Down Down and leading everyone in the Hash Hymn. Another great Pattaya hashing day ended when the Beer Truck turned the corner and drove over the hill towards Pattaya. See everyone again next Monday.
ON-ON ! Spaghetti Head
Next week’s scribe is GI Joe
—– STATS REPORT —–
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners this week – 63
Hashers Present Last Week – 39
479 BALL RINGER;27 BANANAS;22 CRAPPER;113 CRAZY PUSSY;4 DEL BOY; 225 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES;267 EMPTY SPERMBANK; 8 EXCESS BAGGAGE; 326 EXTRA TESTICLE; 511 G.I. JOE; 171 GANGREEN; 655 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 146 HORSE; 7 HOT LIPS HOOLIGAN; 189 KEE MAH; 570 LADY FLIPPER; 213 LIBERACE; 64 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 338 LONE WOLF; 129 MARATHON MAN; 623 MRS. HEAD; 70 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 54 RASPUTIN; 164 ROBBING BASTARD; 82 SCARLET; 157 SHEIK MEME; 584 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 590 SIR FREE WILLY; 598 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 760 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 331 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 134 STEPTOE; 298 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 300 SWEETIE; 433 TADPOLE; 371 TAMPAX; 165 TURD BURGLAR; 694 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 197 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 19
38 APPLE CIDER; 96 APPLE SAUCE; 115 APPLE TREE; 93 B. B.; 300 BELL END; 38 BEN 10; 47 CABBAGE PATCH; 11 CASPAR; 315 FUCK THE TRUTH; 283 HELLBOY; 524 LADY BOW WOW; 12 LOST CAUSE; 178 MISSING LINK; 133 PINKABOO; 214 REAR GUNNER; 230 SCRUMPY; 678 SIR DOG; 432 SNOOPY; 36 SPERM POLLUTER
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 3
1 BUSH DIVER – Angeles City Hash, Philippines
1 HAND BRAKE – Angeles City Hash, Philippines
10 HANDYMAN – Ludvika Hash, Sweden
Virgins – 2
Leavers – 1
Anniversaries – 2
BELL END was congratulated for completing her 300th Run
SWEETIE was congratulated for completing her 300th Run
Hash Names – 1 Events
Darren Graham was given the Hash Nmae EXCESS BAGGAGE
Sinners – 2 Events
~ none this week ~
Birthdays – 0
SIR FREE WILLY – 26 September