Scribe Report by Tampax
The Oktoberfest Run
I missed this run last year and also the very scary right turn off the 331 down into the A-Site area ! As usual, SIR SPAG and MRS HEAD were the first to arrive and SIR SPAG immediately got to work on tidying up the undergrowth !
As a result of being out here earlier in the day laying down the paper with his haring partner V.V., our Brewmaster (the best in the world) was a little late in arriving and so with no one to guide them, the cars were all piling up in the wrong places and what should have been a decent sized parking area seemed altogether a bit on the small side.
With dark skies threatening to let loose at any moment, 73 runners (or drinkers) assembled and the first circle was called by Joint GM, WANK-KING’S WANKER. After the usual pre-run ritual, the Hares explained the run and we were off. The trail first took us along a line of trees parallel with the 331 before emerging out of a small wood and onto a dirt track and our first check. What to do ? Are we to go up and cross the 331 where we could see the real hashers SIR SPAG, SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD, GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and Co. heading for the nearest drinking hole, or should we go down and head for the wide open spaces. Where is MRS HEAD when you need her (who said head?) ? Finally someone called On On and we took off down the hill and away from the road. Leading the way were our two friends from Bangkok: WEED EATER and NO MEAT. Running with them in this private race were our own front runners DEL BOY, PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER, FUCK THE TRUTH and RUNNING BARE.
It was good that the sun was not blazing down on us today for there was not much shade as we made our way over the km’s of rolling country, and crossed the odd water filled ditch and Tapioca field. In what seemed no time at all, we appeared to be making our way back to what MARATHON MAN calls ‘the lager site’! It turns out that we were actually out there for over an hour and as most of us were back enjoying the sponsored and original Oktoberfest German beer, bread and cheese, there were still around twenty strays out there somewhere in the dark !
The first circle was called and SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT came in and explained that the 3 cases of German Beer (at 2100 baht per case) and the food had been sponsored by the PH3, STUPID KRAUT KUNT, SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT and CHEAPER THAN MEME. So now I know why CHEAPER THAN MEME borrowed 1,200 baht from me last week in Tim’s Bar and wanted another 1000 baht !
Anyway, on with the story and so the hares were brought in by WANK-KING’S WANKER and we all came to the overwhelming decision that it was a good run. Next in line was EMPEROR AIRHEAD who paraded the only two Germans on the run today (what a shame) and they happened to be SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT and STUPID KRAUT KUNT. BIG DOG and PUGSLEY along with his young lady Dawn, came in and took a seat on the ice. In fact Dawn seemed to be called in to the ice a good number of times and even took a turn in the ice bucket. What the poor girl did to deserve all this attention I just can’t remember. What I do remember is that EMPEROR AIRHEAD named a guy called Russ ‘GOLDEN RIVET’. Oh well, this is the PH3 and it could have been a lot worse.
WANK-KING’S WANKER got down to the awards with BELL END receiving her 300 Runs Survivor T-Shirt and DIRTY HARRY his award of a 100 Runs Survivor T-Shirt. Well done to them both. SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT was brought in to celebrate his umpty’th birthday and then it was time for SHEIK MEME to enter the circle and expose us to his unique RA brand of entertainment. Ice victims came thick and fast and I soon lost track of who came in and for what reason. The Hare Song this week was sung in German by STUPID KRAUT KUNT, SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT and DIRTY HARRY. Then it was the Hash Hymn and a rush to get away as the rain finally came down on us. Well done to the Hares and the PH3 Mis-management for laying on a great day.
Oktoberfest is behind us now and next week we will have the Hocus Pocus of our Halloween Run. I’ll try to be there anyway.
ON-ON ! Tampax
Next week’s scribe is Absolutely No Fucking Idea
—– STATS REPORT —–
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 73
Hashers Present Last Week – 43
2 Ken Eno; 147 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 96 B. B.; 176 BILLION SUCKER; 29 BULLTRACK; 193 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 8 DEL BOY; 229 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1278 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 329 EXTRA TESTICLE; 113 FLYING FINN; 105 FUZZY LURE; 515 G.I. JOE; 175 GANGREEN; 659 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 193 KEE MAH; 217 LIBERACE; 67 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 58 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 341 LONE WOLF; 16 LOST CAUSE; 132 MARATHON MAN; 182 MISSING LINK; 627 MRS. HEAD; 73 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 63 POCAHONTAS; 75 RUNNING BARE; 14 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE; 160 SHEIK MEME; 588 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 578 SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT; 602 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 764 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 335 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 138 STEPTOE; 302 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 192 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 304 SWEETIE; 375 TAMPAX; 104 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 168 TURD BURGLAR; 698 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 201 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 22
2 Melissa Shook; 19 Jackson Shook; 482 BALL RINGER; 302 BELL END; 40 BEN 10; 16 BIG DAWG; 40 BUTTERFLY INFERNO; 89 DIRT DIGGER; 101 DIRTY HARRY; 316 FUCK THE TRUTH; 7 GOLDEN RIVET; 2 HARRY’S PINK CAMEL; 573 LADY FLIPPER; 82 MINELESS CUNT; 277 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 15 PISS ON IT; 42 PUGSLY; 37 PUSSY WHIPPED; 364 RAMBO WW2; 593 SIR FREE WILLY; 565 SIR MC; 33 WANKING
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 4
8 NO MEAT – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
7 WEED EATER – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
4 BURL IVES – Kowloon Hash, HK, China
4 MISUSE ME – Wanchai Hash, Hong Kong
Virgins – 4
Leavers – 1
Anniversaries – 2
BELL END was awarded her 300th Run Survivor Shirt
DIRTY HARRY was awarded his 100th Run Survivor Shirt
Hash Names – 1 Event
Russ Blohm was given the Hash Name GOLDEN RIVET
Sinners – 0 Event
~ none this week ~
Birthdays – 1
SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT – 21 October