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Scribe Report by Wanking
The A-Site was in a huge hollow, with a great view of the city where the silence was disturbed by Quad Bikers and the friendly banter of hashers. Pity the site was not on the mound higher up, giving even a better viewpoint. Blame the Hares.
NO MORE CUM the GM called the first circle and new shoes were greeted into the circle. Then the Hares were called on in and VIETNAMESE VIOLATER explained in hees gud engleesh ze valk is 30 minoots and ze run vun her.
Afterwhich, VIETNAMESE VIOLATER started up his snags BBQ.
The walk ended up being around 3 km with a gentle climb at the end, the run about 6.7 km, but who is counting. I went for the leisurely stroll.
More importantly Second Circle was called and the Raffle was drawn, with much inspired prizes, spirits, 5 free shots at Tequila Queen Rock & Roll Bar, Penis Soap? It’s amazing what skills SIR FREE WILLY has learnt to do with a bar of soap in prison.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD the RA was handed the Circle and immediately iced the Hares of which when asked Pow didn’t like setting the run, must be that she couldn’t understand the other 2 Hares talking in French.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD commended the Hares on finding a new venue with great view of Pattaya and of course VIETNAMESE VIOLATER taking time out of his busy schedule being the Beer Master, running a BBQ and being a Hare.
Next iced were the Papua New Guinea boys, THREE DOGS, DEEP THROAT, SOGGIE BISCUIT and JOHN ROBINSON, to which EMPEROR AIRHEAD asked who has been to Papua New Guinea. The Scribe now seated hidden from view screamed out “I have”, afterwhich with no room made for me on the ice I sat in the Bucket. EMPEROR AIRHEAD retold the story of the PNG girls foot size being size 7, but that’s the WIDTH. Then of WANKING being advised of his TQ’s Bar Bill being 8,000 Baht, after being awoken from The Land of Dreams, having only drunk 2 beers himself and generously paying for other customers.
Next Virgins and Sponsors, JOHN ROBINSON, MARTIN LEWIS and Pow now named CAN DO, were welcomed into Pattaya H3.
WANK-KING’S WANKER was handed the circle, with his new Red Furry Slippers raffle prize. Enthused that there are 102 runners today and a 100th Run award.
NO MORE CUM then took control of the Circle and iced the Yanks, ANAL ROTATE HER LATER, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, G.I. JOE, GANGREEN and HELIX for their testing of High Speed Train windsheilds, by firing a chicken at it that broke through the windscreen and buried itself into the drivers seat. On advice from the British scientists, they were told to use an Unfrozen Chicken.
English and Welsh were next to take the ice. FREE WILLY, 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE, HYMEN HACKER, ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA, ABERKNACKER of which A.N.F.I. took the Bucket and Double Down Down for talking. Where was the Scribe? Sitting comfortably! Charge was for burying Richard III, 530 years after he died in 1485. And yes, rhyming slang means Turd. ABERKNACKER then tried to explain his Welsh heritage and the Turd was his next door neighbour.
The Germans were the next on the ice. Is there a Racist theme to the Icing? STUPID KRAUT KUNT, slips off the ice, as per usual, after his Down Down.
SCAR W/2TS takes the Circle and ices the Swedes & Danes for talking. SPERM POLLUTER without wife CASPAR, is iced for his Facebook wedding getting 200 Likes, of which his mother wasn’t invited. STUPID KRAUT KUNT iced for showing a porn photo. FLYING FINN for his younger looks hair do.
KATOY MAGNET, SUPERVIRGIN, RASPUTIN and OUT OF ORDER, getting Down Downs for being dedicated hashers for arriving from overseas just prior the run.
Long time Hashers, HELIX started 1985, ABERKNACKER started 1984 and REDCOAT, were also rewarded with Down Downs.
REDCOAT iced the Germans STUPID KRAUT KUNT and NO MORE CUM and gave SCAR W/2TS a Down Down for being a German sympathiser, retelling a story of him leaving STUPID KRAUT KUNT who was waving his arms, only to reveal his shreddie less state and tackle.
REDCOAT gave a rendition of Unterneath The Piss Flaps, before the Downs Downs were downed.
NO MORE CUM took control, iced THREE DOGS for being procrastinatory in renaming a fellow hasher and SOGGIE BISCUIT for being that hasher. NO MORE CUM duly renamed SOGGIE BISCUIT to PUSSY EATS BISCUITS.
Next ANAL ROTATE HER LATER, a mouthful, the GM‘s words, was renamed ROTATE HER LATER.
Leavers, HELIX, FLYING FINN and ROBBING BASTARD received Down Downs.
Now was that time of the night to sing the Hash Hymn, so last Down Downs went to KATOY ANAL MASTURBATOR, HYMEN HACKER, RASPUTIN, DEEP THROAT and SUPERVIRGIN.
Circle closed 19:50 or 7:50pm for you hashers.
ON ON Bar was M Club, who put on great food and Hot Women.
ON-ON ! Wanking
Next week’s scribe is Rotate Her Later.
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 101
Hashers Present Last Week – 63
9 Sam Green; 4 ida Malthe; 4 Id Puncharoen; 15 Samniang Rattanamool; 204 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 161 ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA; 503 BALL RINGER; 17 BLUE SKY; 23 BURL IVES; 73 CAMEL HUMPER; 20 CASPAR; 69 DESERT SCORPION; 249 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1299 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 135 FLYING FINN; 55 FREQUENT STREAKER; 534 G.I. JOE; 193 GANGREEN; 681 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 18 GOLDEN RIVET; 90 HELIX; 36 IM LAO; 151 JACKAL; 43 JINGLE BALLS; 595 LADY FLIPPER; 239 LIBERACE; 70 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 358 LONE WOLF; 37 LOST CAUSE; 25 LOVE BOAT; 145 MARATHON MAN; 86 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 101 MENTAL DISORDER; 22 MISUSE ME; 648 MRS. HEAD; 54 MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY; 93 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 66 NEXT WEEK; 163 NO MORE CUM; 279 PELER; 25 PISSED AS A RAT; 18 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 57 PUSSY FUCKER; 225 REAR GUNNER; 172 REDCOAT; 183 ROBBING BASTARD; 90 RUNNING BARE; 206 SCAR W/2T’S; 615 SIR FREE WILLY; 784 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 52 SPANKINSTEIN; 100 SPECIAL PRICE; 45 SPERM POLLUTER; 352 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 320 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 198 STUPID KRAUT KUNT; 444 TADPOLE; 121 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 176 TURD BURGLAR; 329 VELCRO DICK; 720 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 38 WANKING; 221 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 26
13 Hans Boye; 7 Sudaphan Nonsang; 8 Alain Poirier; 5 Melissa Shook; 25 Jackson Shook; 2 Pou Simoeun; 43 BUTTERFLY INFERNO; 3 CAN DO; 56 CHICKEN HUNTER; 124 COO COO COP; 42 COW FISTER; 27 DEEP THROAT; 95 DIRT DIGGER; 118 FUZZY LURE; 137 HONEY BEAR; 112 KATOY ANAL MASTURBATOR; 15 KATOY MAGNET; 356 ODD-JOB; 75 POCAHONTAS; 369 RAMBO WW2; 311 RAMBOWLING; 65 RASPUTIN; 11 ROTATE HER LATER; 22 SHOOTING STAR; 49 STREET CLEANER; 31 SUPERVIRGIN
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 9
8 HYMEN HACKER – Angeles City Hash, Philippines
5 LEFT BEHIND – Chiang Mai Hash, Thailand
19 HAWKEYE – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
8 OUT OF ORDER – Phoenix Hash, Arizona
7 PUSSY BEATS BISCUIT – Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
14 THREE DOGS – Port Moresby Hash, Papua New Guinea
21 POL DANCER – Puerto Galera Hash, Philippines
24 BIGGUS DICKUS – Songkhla Hash, Thailand
1 Jason Bodham – Unknown
Virgins – 3
Leavers – 5
Anniversaries – 1
SPECIAL PRICE was presented her 100th Run Survivor Shirt
Hash Name Events – 3
Yupa Sommagattarin was given the New Hash Name CAN DO
SOGGY BICUIT was renamed PUSSY BEATS BISCUIT
ANAL ROTATE HER LATER was renamed ROTATE HER LATER
Sinners – 2
SIR FREE WILLY – Hash Shit – Chief Hare painted on a hard surface; no control over his minions.
WANK-KING’S WANKER – Hash Crash – For getting injured while running down Thai pedestrians.
RAMBO WW2 – 23 Mar